Thursday, March 22, 2007

I Spy, Cancer Style

I first met Kentucky in the Denver airport on our way to London. We spent a semester hanging around England and taking trips to on large coaches together. Five years later we met again in an old apartment in downtown Provo. She had married MD, the brother to my beloved boyfriend-at-the-time Chup. A year after that, Kentucky became my sister-in-law. I will never forget visiting her in the hospital after the birth of their son Phun. Nor will I ever forget visiting her in the hospital after the second surgery of her lung. I know it is way cliche to say, but honestly, words cannot describe how much I enjoy, admire and love this sister of mine. Thanks Kentuck for being my guest blogger today.

As Cjane said yesterday, we Kendrick women aren’t braggarts. But I do have to let you know something. I’m gifted. It’s not bragging because it’s actually true (kind of like if you gossip and it’s true, it’s not actually gossiping…). I’m an exceptionally talented eavesdropper. I can listen to and fully comprehend a large number of conversations at the same time. Some might call this stealthy ability “nosy” or say I don’t have anything better to do with my time, but it just isn’t true.

As cjane also mentioned (she talks a lot), I am currently working on this little case of cancer that I’ve got. So I sit around with my partially bald self and I have plenty of time to practice my social observation skills. I make people get me things and pull the “cancer card” whenever possible.


Anyway, every two weeks I go to get my poison. It’s not fun, but it’s still no time to slack on my training. For some reason, this highly efficient hospital has a 2 hour wait to get into the infusion room. It’s really annoying, but yet again, I get to hone my skills while pretending I am doing a HARD sudoku puzzle. And this is what I hear:


Usually to my left (it’s like church, everyone sits in the same place every week) is the Russian beauty queen. She’s engaged in a conversation with someone on the phone, speaking VERY LOUDLY in Russian (at least I think that’s what it is)—but it’s only Russian in the waiting room. In the treatment room it’s only English and Italian. She oozes intelligence and tenacity and, very importantly, she’s got a nice wig. She gives Russian lessons to the nice man sitting next to her, even when he doesn’t ask. “Boust vegg DA shnolett,” they repeat over and over.


Then, sitting in the corner with his significant other (I know about their relationship because they were talking about their children and how they appreciate that they’re good kids) is the man who, when he coughs, sounds as if he might be coughing up a large, marshy bog. He struggles a bit with what most of us take for granted—breathing. Since I have a few lung issues of my own, I have compassion for him—until my gag reflex starts to kick in and then it’s all about me and the bathroom.


The patient recipient of unwanted Russian lessons is the picture of kindness. He asks Miss Russia if she needs help getting connected to the internet when she spews some words (I’m starting to pick up on this Russian thing) and gestures at her computer. He looks as if he might be someone’s dad or bishop, or maybe both. I look a little closer and see that he’s actually a missionary for them Marmons. After fixing the computer, he goes back to holding his wife’s hand.


My favorite fellow-in-waiting is Banana Man. He’s really yellow. I don’t mean “yeller”, as in cowardly, but I mean that his skin is actually a dark shade of orangish-yellow. I whisper underneath my breath that he must have some type of liver disorder and MD confirms my diagnosis. He knows everyone’s names and greets everyone with a huge smile and a raspy salutation. Every week I’m surprised when HE gets up and pushes his wife (they’re both wearing wedding rings) in to get HIS treatment. He’s selfless beyond belief.


Every few treatments I see Mr. Young. He’s probably not much older than I, but he has all sorts of things that I don’t have. He’s full of “new diagnosis” adrenaline and wants to know everything there is to know. I want to tell him not to worry about the small things, like rolling over on his chemo pump in the middle of the night, but he resourcefully finds an answer to his question that suits everyone. He asks his wife if she’s comfortable in the uncomfortable wooden chair next to him and offers to switch. She says she’s fine and they carry on.


I find myself wanting to borrow some of these people’s best attributes. Not so that they’ll have less, but so that I’ll have a little extra tenacity, humility, innocence, perseverance and courage to keep me going when I need it. And there are times when I definitely need it.


Pretty soon (end of treatment April 11th), boy oh boy, I’m gonna party like it’s cjane’s birthday again. And maybe I’ll be able to give back to the world and my family everything that I’ve borrowed this time around. Or maybe it’s all about sharing.


Who knows, someone might need some lessons on how to be the best spy-in-training around. Then I’m their girl.



What is it that you lend to the world? And can we share?

33 Pieces of Opinion:

Mal said...

This was a pretty incredible post for me to read today. Thank you for jolting my perspective.

Bek said...

That was beautiful.... we are watching MIL go through her latest round of the battle she is having with the evil cancer cells that don't appear to want to leave her body... we are in year two with her and feel blessed to still have her here for a year two.

I admire your grace and humor. It must stink to be handed this card, but it seems like since this is the one you got, you are doing the best you can with it.

P.S. I can teach you swear words in Russian. You can shock the be-jezzus out of Miss Russia...

compulsive writer said...

Dear Kentucky,

You don't know me, but I want to tell you sometimes I pray for you.

You were also in my thoughts when I wrote how I, too, am mad at cancer.

My anger isn't really anything to effectively share with the world. But my other talents are that I bake a mean sour cream lemon pie and can whip a decent batch of homemade ice cream. I can't share that with the entire world, but I do what I can to make sure it at least gets around the neighborhood.

Thank you. I agree with bek about your grace and humor. I also think Kentucky=Courage.

God bless you and yours.

Love,

CW

Whitney said...

Thanks, Kentuck, for all the gifts you bring to the table--you bless me every day!

sue-donym said...

Thank you for sharing this with us. I admire your courage and humor, and the fact that you "make people do things and pull the cancer card whenever possible". Absolutely you must do this!

I can read really good upside down. With your listening skills and my upside down reading skills, we could take Valerie Plane's place in a heartbeat I tell ya.

nie nie said...

b,
that was very lovely. i think you rock, and you look hot with short hair.

Geo said...

You are beauitful, funny, intelligent, marvellous. I'd like to know you. Thanks for sharing you with us.

I don't know how useful my particular skills are to the world, but I'm happy to share if there's ever a call for them:

I can whistle. This comes in especially handy when either my grandmother or my dog are feeling down.

I am a thrift-shopping fiend. Need a cheap wardrobe? I'm your personal shopper!

I excel at felting sweaters. I discovered this superpower by accident when I first left home and graduated from acrylic sweaters to western wool. Now I shrink stuff on purpose, and have lots of good ideas about what to do with the felt.

b. said...

Amazing Woman. Beautiful Perspective.

Jennifer B. said...

Beautiful post Kentucky. Thanks for sharing--you've made me want to share what I have. (Anyone need a good recipe for snickerdoodles?

Emily said...

Kentucky,
You make me 'glad'.
Glad to know you and glad that you have made me get things for you.

I now know to watch what I say in "private conversation".

I can lend this out:
I know "creatively silly" dance moves (particularly in the kitchen). Good for entertainment and exercise.

La Yen said...

Wonderful post.
I want to be everybody's friend. Even ugly people. (Althogh sometimes I have to push myself.) Sometimes people don't want that, but I lend it to the world. I can also write a paper on My Antonia. (Or just pull one of the fifty billion I already wrote because every Lit class at BYU requires a paper on My Antonia.)

liz said...

I lend typos in the comment box.

Thanks for sharing a slice of your life with us. You're so cute and I gather humorous with regard to your writing style.

La Yen said...

Also--do they have the nice reclining, massaging chemo chairs there? That's what my grandma had. They were teal. So we watched soaps and she got poisoned, reclined, and massaged.

Emily said...

I can teach people how to be more responsible with money. I can also volunteer other people to host baby showers. Two very important skills.

I have an affinity for you since watching your Mother's Day tribute on YouTube. You are so beautiful.

Leisha said...

Incredible post...loved it.

My talent: A highly tuned 'BS' detector and with that I don't let those I love get away with being anything less than genuine. Not the greatest talent in the world, but I play the cards I'm dealt.

This is me said...

Kentucky, You are (and always will be) one of my all-time favorite people. And, can I just say that I don't think you pull the "cancer card" often enough. Let's recall Round One and the often heard "What? You have a migraine? Let me come pick up your daughter so I can take care of both our kids at the same time! Cancer Shmancer!" And then you moved across the country and I was hugely pregnant and couldn't come help AT ALL.

And, you know as well as I do that my greatest talent to share is being Mother of the Year. And being totally obsessed with Chick Fil-A.

metamorphose said...

Wonderful post, and what a wonderful smile you have too, Kentucky. Thanks for being such a stellar guest writer.

c jane said...

I have an odd way of being the happiest at the worst of times. I will bring that to the humanity table.
What is wrong with me?

Queen Scarlett said...

What a hero. Thanks for being an example of how to handle trials. You do it so well. After reading your post Audrey Hepburn (my fav) popped into my head. You remind me of her.

Love the guest bloggers.

hmmm share?...I have a mean b-slap. ;-)

citymama1 said...

Thanks for the post! What a great perspective. Do you blog regularly?
I think I bring peace into the world, in that I hate any type of contention. I also make a mean vegi lasagna.

compulsive writer said...

Yay for queen!

c-jane. Nothing is wrong with you. Yours is one of the most unique of gifts. And a blessing at the humanity table.

sue-donym said...

I tried to find your Mother's Day tribute on You Tube but all I got under "kentucky tribute" was a bunch of stuff on Barbaro.

Feel like sharing the link?

luckyzmom said...

I share your talent.
I also make things up about strangers when the conversation lags.
Having worked in the business, I pick up on whether the employees in a restuarant get along or like their job too.
Real useful talents!!!!

kentucky said...

Thank you all so much for the kind words, prayers (CW) and warm thoughts (what ARE warm thoughts?). Thanks, cjane for putting me in the blogger spotlight for a day. It was fun.

You've all got some good stuff to share. If any of it has to do with treats, let me know.

Nienie-did you know that you're my short-hair mentor? I always tell cjane I want my hair to look like yours.

la yen-the chemo chairs are like the chairs you use when you give blood, only nicer and more comfy.

cjane-I'll tell you what's wrong with you. You don't see me often enough.

sue-donym-the mother's day video mostly just pictures of my little boy. You can probably find it by going to courtney's birthday tribute and looking at other videos my husband has done.

c jane said...

Kentuck if you don't mind sharing, here is the link to the Mother's Day tribute

ash said...

What a great video, I am crying and I don't even know you (my 2 year old is kindof wondering what's going on though). You seem amazing, and I am inspired by you already.

*natalie* said...

what a great post to read before i go to bed. i admire your strength and humor in a hard time.

pflower10 said...

Kentucky, you are REALLY an inspiration. I wish you all the best in your cancer treatments and such.
I loved the mother's day video.
You are lucky that you are one of those girls that look awesome with short hair. I bet you'd even look great as a baldy.
How did you know about your ability to multi-task conversations?? That has got to come in handy!!
I have been trying to think of something to say about what I share with the world all day long and I have come up short. I DO make some mean grilled veggies, does that count?

God Bless,
Pf10

Marilyn said...

Kentucky, Thanks for sharing your amazing spirit and strength. I too, love to people watch, but I am pretty sure people get weirded out by me staring at them and listening in on their conversations. I need to take a lesson or two from you.

This question you posed was a hard one for me. I really LOVE music. All kinds of music. I am pretty open-minded when it comes to music. I also play the piano, so music is pretty much my #1 hobby. Along with this passion for music, I like to make cd's for people. So I guess that's how I share it.

Thanks for making me think today!

acte gratuit said...

I'd just like to say that you look really cute with short hair. You have a perfectly shaped face for it!

Curly said...

Beautifully written Kentuck. Just for the record--as Kentuck's sister-- I can say that she does NOT pull the C-card "every chance she gets." By that I mean that I have almost never heard a complaint come our of K's mouth. She very graciously smiles and joins in the fun even if it's one of those rotten days. Really a great example of kindness and patience.

Kiki said...

Kentucky has a secret admirer, but I'm not going to say who it is because then it wouldn't be a secret anymore.

I want to borrow your courage, Kentucky. I don't know about my talents, but I have a really cool organic chemistry model set that you can borrow if you want. I don't know what you'd do with it, but it's here.

Thomas said...

grace. humility. great sense of humor. beautiful smile.

helps me remember why i had a crush on my accompanist at ricks college!