I've got a tan, and you know what? Everyone has taken a notice. It's a real genuine glowing tan bestowed upon my freckled face by the Sun in all of it's celestial glory. Not the bottled B.S. Jergens bit-o-lotion on aisle 2.Yes, I know about skin cancer, but I think it's one of those made-up cancers like toenail cancer and eyeball cancer (the cancer suckers out there! For real!) But just as a precaution, I wear sunscreen (also from aisle 2) that smells like coconut. Nothing brings back memories like sunscreen smells. One slather and I am basking on a deck chair at Vacation Village on Laguna Beach. Don't tell me you haven't been there.
People keeping asking if I've been gardening. Excuse me? Garden? This early in the year? I've got like 15 more months to rake, weed and spill fertilizer before next winter. Why in dandelion's
dandruff would I start this early? Besides I just turned 30. I don't have to get into gardening for at least 20 years. Everyone knows that turning 50 years old means gardening is a requirement. Right now, I just focus on looking hot.
Which brings me back to my tan. I am starting to peel, just a little, by my nose. I keep the whole area doused with coconut oil. I also use coconut oil when I cook Thai. Oops, that is coconut milk.
Are you are going to stop reading my blog because I mixed up coconut oil with coconut milk? Before you go to extremes, please note: Confusion is totally normal. A human-characteristic really.
I am confused, are we talking about my tan?
It's just that as I was typing that last sentence I heard a scuffle noise from the backyard. I don't get spooked very easily, but this noise was very scary and simultaneously our light sensor jumped on. I am sending Chup out to investigate. Before he leaves though, I need to ask him certain questions about our life insurance policy. Like, if we have one.
But saddest of all is that I'm so scared I'm practically white as a ghost. Which, as you can imagine, isn't good for my tan.
24 Pieces of Opinion:
I'm fine with you confusing coconut oil with coconut milk. Now if you were confusing cocunut milk with BREAST milk... then I'd worry.
How do you NOT burn your cute little fair self in the sun? For years I've yearned for the light glow from the sun but end up looking like a lobster for a week, blistering, peeling then flaking to reveal my original hued skin in the first place. Oh how I wish I could be a bronzed beauty.
Maybe that's another good reason to live in Seattle. Nobody expects you to be tan there. Nobody I tell ya.
Honey let me show you the hole in my leg from my almost skin cancer and we can safely delight in pallor together.
Lucky, you really crack me up.
You are the second person to have mentioned Vacation Village to me today. I had never heard of it previously. It's a sign. I'm going.
I noticed, oh yes I did. Freckle Delight!
I might have had Thai food this weekend, Thai food that included lots of coconut milk, lots of yummy, yummy coconut milk.
I've never been to Laguna Beach, but I have been whisked away to Memory Cove by the scent of sunscreen/suntan oil. That scent is always one of the strongest activators of memory recall.
Nice tights and shoes.
yum...the scent of coconut oil. i LOVE coppertone. reminds me of my adolescent days at newport and huntington, and of course my year at byu-hawaii. ahh, the days before skin cancer scares and sun spots.
Chup is a big boy. I think I'd be scared of him if he came out of a house looking for me as I was trying to sneak around someone's yard.
Is coconut oil supposed to be good for peeling? I always use aloe, but maybe because I have brown skin it doesn't matter.
My dad always teases me about how much beach there is right here in Utah. Just no ocean. Ugh, I can hear his mocking laugh now . . . it's now 76 degrees and mostly cloudy in Honolulu, so maybe we're getting more sun here than there. Sigh.
After two years of sun exposure at the equator [Amazon not Equador], and no sunscreen, I still didn't tan. Like Lucky, I was more lobstery color. My skin has long since passes the peeling stage too.
btw....Hey Thomas seja bem vindos and aloha.
Did Chup make it back okay?
Tans are the greratest self confidence booster. This is my favorite time of year, when my red-head, fair freckled skin, gets a nice brown glow. Spring :) My nose always peels also, maybe I will have to try coconut milk/oil?
Gotta love the blinding white of the Northern Euro leg after a long, cold, dark winter. Sadly I have two of them, why did my ancestors from Ireland, England, Wales and Denmark not mix JUST ONCE with a swarthy Greek or Italian?????
Happy Spring!
My Don called me this morning from a sun drenched beach in Fiji. In the background I could hear happy little Fiji-ans talking in Fiji-an (or whatever), and this is what Don says to me...
"I bet you can almost smell the coconut right through the phone! But really, honey, I'm working hard."
Whatever.
I am going to Vacation Village for Mother's Day. I will try to tan, just for you! (I didn't know it was so famous!)
Oh how I miss my tanning/burning days. I love the sun. But it does not love me -or my genes.
A couple years ago my mom had skin cancer on her nose and her upper lip. Unfortunately, more has appeared and next week she has to have surgery to have two spots removed from her scalp. Scary stuff.
So please tan for the both of us, since I am no longer able to do so. Keep sharing your sun-kissed delicious face, because it's always a delight to behold.
Speaking of self-tanners...anyone know of a good one that doesn't stink like rot? Email me, at softspot4heels at yahoo dot com. Seriously. I want some.
My best wishes to your mother Meta. And also best wishes on finding the perfect self-tanner. I haven't found one yet.
Are your legs tan in that picture or a light purple?
Enjoy spring! And to hell with gardening, I say.
I was going to comment on your tan last time I saw you.. it is a great tan! A REAL great tan. (Dang that peeling)
I adore tan legs...and feet. I like being tan because it just make me feel like a look better. Plus tan fat looks better (or at least mine does)than pale white fat.
You have to remember that white goes with everything. Can you be seen after Labor Day??
Interesting topic Cjane, since I have myself proclaimed 2007 "The Year of the Tan" I hardley ever tan, I'm a burn girl myself, but this year I AM DETERMINED to get the most rockin tan out there.
Now I am off to buy some coconut milk, no... breast milk... no ... oh what the hell, I am heading to aisle 2.
Out of all the hip, loyal readers you have here, CJane, someone must have a recommendation for a decent self-tanner. someone? anyone? please?
umm i'm wishing for a tan. i'll get one in 2 WEEKS FROM TODAY WHEN I"M IN HAWAII...sorry didn't mean to yell, but I"m excited. you look good tan my friend!
Lancome flash bronzer is pretty good, it comes in creme (vive la France), spray or foam. I am too lame to spray so I use the creme, it works pretty darned well....
I also had a cancer on my knee of all places, so I am a little more of a 'self tanner' leaner than the real deal....
Hey, when your tan starts coming off in sheets, call me. I love to peel skin!
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