Yeah so here is the deal. We went to a get together with friends last night. It was funny. At one point I was thisclose to wetting my pants. For the record though, I am always thisclose to being thisclose to wetting my pants. Don’t get me laughing on a trampoline. And don’t talk two octaves higher and sound like a goat when you start to cry. That gets me uncontrollable silly every time. Even I myself fall victim to the high-pitched goat voice. It’s bad too, because no one should laugh and pee when other people are being tender.
Back to this evening. The details are blurry. But I am sure that at one point Chup and I were standing up dancing side-by-side. We were trying to show the Party People what the ninety year old lady
Here is the deal. CHUP TOTALLY DID THE SPLITS…ON DEMAND. My six-foot-five-inched-tall-two-hundred-fifty-plus-a-bag (or four bags)-of-rice-husband-of-almost-five-years did the freaking splits as a parlor trick. Darn well ripped his camouflage cargos in the process.
It happened so fast. Split seconds (pardon the pun). Did I know that Chup could do the splits? Um no. I was so shocked that I ran around the room flailing my arms in the air and shouting a mantra I mustn't repeat on a family-friendly blog sorta. Does this change things? Um, yes.
How am I?
I am in shock.
Um, and twitching a little bit. bit. bit. bit. (STOP IT!) bit.
But we’re going to be jjjjjjjust ffffffinnnnnne.
I might not have the presence of mind to blog for awhile.
You understand, right? right? (HELP ME!) right? It is normal for husbands to do insane things out of the clear blue happily married sky. sky.sky.sky.sky.sky.sky??????? ??? ???
.JPG)
24 comments:
first, wetting your pants in some cultures is considered a sign of respect and admiration. (i just can't tell you which ones.)
i'm just surprised you didn't go from "thisclose" to "doneanddone" in the pee-pants department when chup pulled those splits. 'cause i would have. and he's not even my husband.
but what is it with guys and hidden talents? i'm going to wake mr. dub right now and see if he secretly ice skates and/or speaks arabic.
Cryin' here!! The "two octaves higher and sound like a goat" kind! But due to the hilarity of your story, not so much about tenderness. (Deep breaths. Deep breaths.) OK. Are you trying to convince me that you didn't expect Chup (I mean really--who has a name like Chup?) wouldn't have a few sneaky parlor tricks up his sleeve. You can be sure, there's more where that came from!
All it takes is the right mix of people and a stoke of brilliance and BAM! The Splits!! ROFL
So does he do birthday parties, too? (I hear there's good money in that.)
Oh and I've been looking for a new mantra. Do tell.
I almost peed my pants just reading about it. Much funnier than when I learned that my husband swears under his breath, all the time. We've been married for 6 years! I asked him which words he uses, and he said all of them.
Do you think he'd do it at the next ward activity? We need to liven it up somehow! Maybe he and Ginger could do a little ditty for us!
You don't call him the Chupstar for nothing.
I feel your pain. Mine was actually a cheerleader in high school. I know. He swears it was cool at the time. He hasn't actually done a toe-touch in public since I've known him, knock on wood.
I guess we should be glad people continue to surprise us, or life would be dull, dull, dull, don't you think?
cute photo. it's like he is about to move on to party trick #547: The Robot
SBP has no secrets, and I did not know this. For shame.......
holy crap -- that is talent. i can't do the splits! that chup. so amazing.
I never knew my husband could mime an alligator so well or dance ballet until we were at a book club Christmas party. He will be forever known as "the alligator guy" to one woman's spouse.
Spousal surprises are satisfyingly secksee. Wouldn't you agree?
It's not like someone can just do the splits, at the snap of a finger. He must have been stretching, working, practicing for a long time now. In secret. In which case, the deceit goes even deeper than first thought. Counselling, maybe? I'm just saying.
It was absolutely amazing. Can I say that? I was stunned and shocked. I laughed so hard I almost joined you in the wet pants club. Chup doing the splits was in my dream last night. Hilarious I say. He is a good man. P.S. the fam loved you guys. They wished they lived closer so they could hang out with you too!
I am not surprised: Chup is a mystery wrapped in an enigma and always has been. We all just think we know him.
After almost 10 years I found out that he knows the names of all the Disney Princesses. We don't have girls. We don't own any Disney movies. What in the...
Please - post a picture of the splitting Chup.
I "second" that request, anonymous! This made me laugh, Courtney! You two are so great!
Sure he can do the splits but what I want to know is could he walk the next day??? That's the real trick.
P.S. I love your head shot on the wall in the back ground.
Maybe he's a closet ninja master, those guys can kick straight up and down, so that could explain the splits ability.
someone was just telling me that to get plants to germinate more effectively you're supposed to pull them out of the ground, jostle them about, and replant. so you know, so maybe those splits will help you guys um...germinate.
This is the funniest thing I've read...or seen..in my mind, in a LONG time. My first thought was "ouch." but you didn't mention that Chup was in pain. Whattya know, you have a gymnast as well as an actor for a husband.
More interesting to me is if you came home and mended said pants. Hmmm?
would you believe that 90-year-old Jane Petty is in the magical 5th ward? Yes, ma'am. We went trick-or-treatin' there. Yes, ma'am. (she also dabbles in capoeira.)
Chup sounds funny. :)
Post a Comment