January 15, 2008
CJ and C Jane
My favorite character in all of blogdom is the wickedly funny little CJ, son of my dear friend Jamie a la Boise. CJ has a rampant obsession with trash, discusses human body parts with his fellows, and actively proposes dog food where others use Parmesan cheese.
But his latest adventures deal with his desire to wear his daddy's underwear. If you've seen his daddy, as I have, you will wonder, like I do, how CJ manages to support such a large garment without using a bundle of safety pins. 'Cause CJ's daddy is like this big. Bigger than your daddy for sure, maybe even bigger than The Chief's daddy.
This confession of CJ's has only endeared me more to the sparky guy, for I too like to wear my daddy's underwear at night. This ritual started shortly after my belly started to expand. One evening the thought occurred that perhaps daddy's undies would constrict less while tossing and turning. It's true, wearing the over-sized undies is like sleepy on a soft, pillowy-like cloud of fluffy. Almost like dozing bare na-ked.
For the first few months I took comfort in the fact that Chuppy's cuddly cottony undies were always going to be the size of a tent. That I could live through out this gestation feeling breezy in the nighttime hours. Husband agreed, and started to set out his undies on the dresser for me to change into right before I retired. A sweet, serene solution.
Only last night daddy's undies fit me. THEY FIT ME. The bottoms felt snug on my legs. The waist didn't drop to my lower hip area. My belly pressed up against the thin white top. I looked over at Chup to see if he had lost weight. No, indeed the man was still the size of Merlin Olsen, with his LA Rams career physique. The truth is . . . I don't need to spell it out. Okay, I will spell it out:
I am a five-foot-three-inched woman sharing the same size underwear as my six-foot-five-inched husband.
I am at a loss. Is it the three am cereal bars? The dark chocolate truffles? Could it be my rage for sour candy when I watch Chup play Project Gotham 4? Heavens! I am not stupid enough to think that this is all baby. The boy doesn't even weigh a pound yet. Ounces! Friends! Ounces still!
In due time this will probably happen to CJ. One day, when he's grown a foot or two, he'll be asking to borrow his daddy's khakis (no safety pins needed), and when that day comes there will be much back-slapping and man-chuckling.
And I will be happy for them.
Liked this post?
Please donate!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
.JPG)
27 comments:
Ah, this gave me a good laugh whilst taking a little work break to drink some delicious chocolate silk.
Just curious, have you tried maternity undies?
I did not use maternity undies with numero uno, but I did with numero dos and now I have a testimony, amen.
As for the other stuff, lalalalalala (best not to think about it) lalalalalala.
You're just now fitting into Chup's undies?
Maybe I better lay off the donuts & soft-serve.
Do buy maternity undies. I second it.
My new plan: stand backwards on the scale at the doctor's office. After Monday's appointment...lalalalalala indeed.
listen, I come close to fitting in my Hub's undies anyway so what does that say? (maybe that he's an inch shorter but still outweighs me by 30 lbs...)
And I always stand backwards on the scale, it's the only way for me to stay sane.
yikes. i am just happy you are pregnant.
ummmmmm, never mind.
I third maternity undies.
And WISH I could fit into my 6-foot-four-inch hubby's undies (because he's skinnier, dangit).
Six full-term pregnancies and no maternity undies here. I guess I really missed the boat. What did I do?? I think by the last (and final) time around I decided to go commando.
Yay for comments! Yay for CHUP and his amazing power and authority. hee.
On behalf of my wife, she would be in favor of the maternity undies.
I used my pregnancies as an excuse to make a batch of choc chip cookie dough daily, so I can understand completely morph of a pregnant body.
If it makes you feel any better my husband wore my jeans for his halloween costume and they weren't even tight on him. Disgusting!
Just wait, once your little sonshine comes, you will put him in his white onesie and notice you all having matching underwear. That's love right there.
I'm with the garden maiden. I "craved" (just read devoured) ice cream, cookies, candy, all sorts during my pregnancies. I always acted SO SURPRISED when I had mysteriously gained 50 pounds with a nine pound baby!
I need to say how much better it makes me feel to know that I am not alone in this pregnancy morphology. That women have been gaining pregnancy weight for centuries and they will continue to gain for centuries hereafter. . . makes me feel so globally connected.
I know it sound naive, but sometimes I think I am the only one to worry and fret over the aftermath that is coming to me in a couple months. The return of the un-shared body.
Do tell me more . . .
Oh, cJane, I have a marvelous plan I developed, "The Pants Plan", that can get you right back into shape within a few months. Have I already divulged my secrets to you? Maybe I should blog about it and someone can get rich off my idea.
Ah, I too loved my husband's undies to sleep in. It was one of the only times I felt good while pregnant!
My dear friend, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who was wearing my husbands underwear during pregnancy! PS. I hate the itchy waistband. :)
My husband is 6'4, about 275. Big guy to say the least. When I was amongst the preggers, I would wear his G top like it was going out of style.
The sad day was when it was tight on me. I even had my baby 9 weeks early. Bah.
Oh, and I think you should do one of those interviewing blogs again, but this time you should pick me, because I am fabulous, if I do say so myself.
Return of the un-shared body?
You get to sleep tummy down again.
Mmmm delicious.
Downside?
You may not sleep.
And instead of being attached inside, he'll be attached outside, but then you'll have to use your hands. What's an un-shared body?
Boy do I hear you. My husband and I have the same waist and inseam measurements, despite me being 5'3" and he being 6'. We have the same leg length, despite him being 9" taller than me. That sort of makes me a freak, right?
Am I the only one who doesn't wear my husband's undies?
No, No Kentucky. I'm pregnant. I wear my underwear. Now his shorts, on the other hand, are a beauty thing.
Take heart. Pregnancy does all sorts of weird things to your body.
I am sure you look FABULOUS.
kentuck, I do NOT wear my husband's undies.
I only ever wore my husband's undies on desperation days when the laundry had been put off too long. That was back in the days when he had more sets than I did. But funny thing, now that the tables are turned, if he ever comes up short(less) before I do the wash, he never asks to borrow any of my undies. Hunh.
My husband is what some might call....shorter? 5'7". I am a small girl myself but it was a SAD day when I outgrew his clothes. And his pajamas. And his undies.
sad day.
Post a Comment