I went to Page's house for lunch today. It is Tuesday, Bread Making Day, a great day to have lunch at Page's because who doesn't like homemade 12 grain all hot and dripping with whipped honey butter?
But just moments after Page delivered the bread pans from the hot oven, the front door charged open and also delivered four teenage boys. All sporting earphones and hungered bellies. From what I could tell, two of them were my nephews, two were not, all obviously coming home from high school in search of a lunch break.
Oh drat. I thought. There goes my quiet lunch of bread and carrots shared with a few sisters and a sampling of their children. The boys quickly crowded the kitchen with their energy. Such big voices. And shoulders. With enough combined hair to donate to a balding alpaca.
They wasted no time raiding the fridge. Layton made fruit shakes while Clark finished off some flat Root Beer. Chips and salsa (mixed with sour cream) were offered on the dinning room table. In the midst of the chaos, I asked Clark what he was listening to and he responded, "Message in a Bottle by The Police."
"Sting?" Lucy asked trying to get in on the act.
One boy with dramatic bangs rolled his eyes.
"Would you boys like some bread?" Page asked with oven-mitted hands.
"Yes." Said the boy with the hair like Screech.
"Yes Sister Checketts." Page corrected.
"You don't really make them call you that?" Lucy protested.
"They are at the age where it is terribly awkward to know what to call your friend's parents. I am just letting them know that they can call me Sister Checketts. Sister Checketts, you can call me that from now on." As she commanded, Page was testing out a loaf of bread for durability.
"I called my math teacher Brother Jenner today on accident." Clark said reaching for some crackers with cream cheese. The other boys laughed. Loudly like, WAAAHHH! WAAAHHH!
Finally Page gave up on slicing the bread warm and hacked it up into four man-sized chunks. The boys each grabbed a piece, smothered it with sticky honey butter and stuffed it into their mouths like starved Vikings on pillage.
I dared not look.
As I turned away I thought about this whole business of having boys. How aggressive, awkward and constantly hungry they are! How indefatigable, red-blooded and grumpy they can be! And here I am, only months away to giving birth to one! Someone get me help.
Then, in the corner of my view I saw Page attempting to move Mery's glue-and-dried-beans project from the kitchen counter out of the way of our teenage army. The bottle tipped and glue went pouring down Mery's little jean skirt and fell into a puddle on the floor.
Mery gasped.
The kitchen was suddenly quiet.
"Nice one . . . Sister Checketts." Quipped one of the boys.
And that is when I went to get my camera. "Stay there." I said to the formidable gang, "I need to remember this moment."
A picture to remind me of the other adjective that describes transforming males: surprisingly clever.
January 29, 2008
They Eat A Lot
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33 comments:
Is that orange hair for real? Looks like a wig.
I love the idea of having to keep a teenage boy belly full. I wish I had to now. I love cooking and making satisfying food. I hate leftovers that never get eaten. Please make my little son grow faster so he can eat more!
We have a bunch of these showing up around our house now. Since we have the transforming female variety.
I have to admit, I love it. Foosball table in the basement seems to be an important draw. And food in the pantry.
But we have learned what the song means with the line "smells like teen spirit." Pheew. Boys really do stink sometimes.
haha. I love it. Mr Parkes has the young men over to our house for activities often and they are so funny and easy going.
The red hair rocks.
I'm still laughing at dramatic bangs.
I'm sorry, but, I laughed all through this. It was the perfect start to my morning. Last night I ate a whole bar of chocolate while I read you and laughed.
Boys are great.
They do eat A LOT, but I love having packs of them around the house.
For the record, I'll take starving quick witted boys over dramatic snarky girls anyday!
My boys are 5, 8, and 10, so by my calculations, about 8 years from now, my kitchen will look like that every single day! Part of me dreads it, the rest looks forward to a bunch of big(ger) boys. When it became clear that I was going to be a mother of a bunch boys, the joke was, "I always wanted boys to like me."
I have twin boy toddlers and it's fun to imagine what life will be like when they hit high school. That bread looks awesome! Any chance Page would share her recipe?
"I always wanted boys to like me." Ha! That is funny.
I am starting to think that a house full of boys would be an adventure that I could come to love. Time will tell.
The red hair is for real. Can you believe it?
Any chance Carrot Top will share that fabulous hair?
I have feelings on this subject. Boys are hungry, large, loud, and frequently smelly... but girls, in a pack, can be obnoxious. As a former pack girl myself, I know this. I'd rather loud man laughs than a gaggle of girls and their high pitched titters. Just my opinion.
That red head is gorgeous!
Love this post...especially this part...
"How indefatigable, red-blooded and grumpy they can be!"
I have something to add about boys...especially when they are your own...
CHARMING!
My little guy charms me every single day.
Just that picture itself says it all.
The red head looks like my sisters friend Robert that moved away.
MMMM homemade bread. I miss Great Grandma. The smell of homemade bread and cinnamon rolls.
I know Page's broccoli soup is true - for dinner and for breakfast.
I also know that baby boys are true.
Haley told me that boys are ALWAYS nice to their moms and us girls tend to get a big mean to them sometimes. A great book to read is 'The Wonder of Boys.'
I loved this post.
and you!
I am friends with Lani and I have been stalking your blog since she did her guest post on homeschooling a very long time ago. Sorry! You are very entertaining to read though and you always make me think of her so I love your blog! Anyways, my oldest is just hitting the teenage years and this post was a scarey glimpse into my very near future! Funny but am I ready for this? Ummmm, NO! I do love watching my kids grow up into somewhat intelligent, somewhat self-sufficient young people. I wouldn't trade any of it.
Isn't it funny that 1977, southern California, skater-dude hairstyles are in again among the teenage set. Bangs and all. Oh, and these haircuts have also always been in style among TV child-actors of the 70's,80's,90's and today. "Eight is Enough", and Oh, Joey Lawrence, "Give Me a Break", "Silver Spoons", and lest we forget "Home Improvement".
I love homemade bread.
Love love love my boys. They make me laugh every single day. So charming and so little drama and oh so affectionate with their mama.
You are blessed to have a boy!
Boys are true. Toilets that boys have frequented are not true. Amen.
This post brought back wonderful memories of a house full of boys. Fun times at all ages. You have nothing to fear. It is going to be FANTABULOUS having loud belching hungry boys filling your domicile.
That is EXACTLY the color of red hair I have always wanted and when my hair turns gray I WILL dye it that color. Everyone knows your hair is dyed anyway so it may as well be a fun color right?
C Jane, Promise me if you ever stop blogging it will only be because you have your own column in a well read paper or because you have your own talk show. I love each of your posts even more than the one before.
That picture could be on the front of a magazine I would buy at check out and read just for the picture on the front. LOVE it. It is a wonderful picture that captures personality.
Do you think headphones will go away? I do not look forward to my toddler asking for an ipod for his kindergarten Christmas.
Just my two cents, I didn't care for the Wonder of Boys. I did very much care for Last Child in the Woods though.
Treehouses, mud, trains, puppy dogs, skinned knees, blanket forts, balls, sharks, dinosaurs,army guys.
I could eat it all up, I love it so. Boys are wonderful.
That makes me want to have some teenage ones. SO fun.
("enough hair to donate to a balding alpaca" Really, how do you come up with stuff like that? Do you have a notebook where you jot stuff down, or does it just spring fully formed to your brain. Please at least a notebook...)
At least these boys weren't totally full of mischief. Having a place to help feed their hunger can go a long way...in more ways than one.
I remember when those boys were TODDLERS!!!
Layton (the redhead, right?) looks like Miles with red hair. I couldn't believe it....
That aspect of boys kind of scares me too....
Is Clark the one with the red hair? Can I borrow him one day and keep him in my pocket? Because he and his red hair are aDORable!!
If it's any consolation, my boys have been much more cuddly and sensitive and much less whiny and temperamental then their female siblings.
They do eat more yes, but in those early years it seems the baby boy/mommy relationship is one I can't seem to duplicate with my daughters...(I have two boys and two girls)
I've got three little boys of my own and really, they're not much different than the big ones. Except they eat much, much less. I'm going to get a shirt that says, "I heart Costco".
love this.
awesome. boys, so darling, I almost can't wait until mine are that age.
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