Lucky's photo of me in front of the Provo Bakery, pre-pregnancyA chocolate sprinkled donut.
And as I was ordering the very perky and terribly cute bakery girl asked me if I liked being pregnant.
For a split second I paused.
I remembered that for five years of my life I honestly hated to hear women say that they disliked being pregnant. That was the worst offense. Even my own puking-seven-times-a-day-the-whole-pregnancy-sister-in-law Megan never complained around me because she was sensitive enough to know that I'd trade her trials in a nano. I also thought such a whine was a sin against womanhood. How could any female begrudge fulfilling the measure of the uterus' creation? I cheered on friends like ~J who said "My body loves to be pregnant." Was this not God's eager gift to all The Fertile?
And then I remembered how that very morning, like the last seven months, I had woken to severe nausea and puked in my hands before I could make it to the bathroom. My belly is too big to comfortably upheave anymore, but my body doesn't seem to take that into consideration. The most gratitude I could muster at that point was that I didn't simultaneously pee my pants like I normally do. I thought about how I don't sleep at nights, my back is sore and my hips vibrate with pain. If I don't constantly suck ice I get dehydrated and feel like death. Oh yes, and medication just makes me a loopy mess.
But perhaps worst of all, my doctor admonished me to "cut way back on carbs" after he looked at my peaking weight chart. And here I was in a bakery drooling for a donut.
"No, I don't like being pregnant." I finally answered her. And then, somehow I followed that up with,
"But I'll do it as many times as I can."
That is my final answer.
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42 comments:
I think you answered perfectly. Hope you savored that donut.
ah-HA! very nice. This time. This time you don't like it, but next time you will. (??)
And thanks, Doctor, for that advice! So very helpful!
Perfect answer. You're right, pregnancy has a lot of downs, but there are so many ups too. Like the fact that you can eat a donut, and everybody credits it to the baby. And of course the end result is by far the best reason to keep doing it as many times as you can.
P.S.
I can so relate with you on the simultaneous peeing of the pants while puking. I haven't been pregnant (well, I haven't had one keep anyway) for four and a half years and I still have an issue with it. Sorry that was way too much information, and I'm sure it makes you feel so great about the post baby fun to look forward to ;)
Luckily, I am the human wonder and I can proceed to be pregnant without any barfing- not even once- both times. I think of people like you that can't stop and I count my blessings.
I too can't stand it when people complain about being pregnant. If you hate it so bad, why did you have sex?
And a donut isn't a sin. If it is, I am hell-bound for sure.
Oh, doctors.
At one point, I may have muttered, under my breath, "You're a guy, I don't care what you've seen, you've never actually been pregnant so you could not possibly know."
And then I fired him.
Hmm. Possible that we missed each other by moments yesterday.
Yes, good answer. Isn't it a wonder that there is such a spectrum of pregnancy experiences among women? I mean you'd think nature would be kind to all and not leave so many with the pukes for months. I've been really lucky in that department but everyday I keep waiting for the other ball to drop to make up for it.
I have taken in my neighbor's daughter's children on urgent notice more than as she, who spends most of her pregnancies hooked up to a pic line just to stay alive, gets rushed to the emergency room time and time again she is so ill. I appreciate that pregnancies aren't textbook for everyone, so I have great respect for what women (especially those who have been through fertility treatment) choose to endure in order to bring a child into the world.
(Stepping off her soapbox) This time of year I always think of you and perfectly frosted shamrock cookies from the Provo bakery. Always.
My goodness!
People are BOLD in Utah.
I can promise you, that if you come to MN NO ONE will ask you "do you like being pregnant?"
Eeek!
And I have never heard for peeing at the same time as barfing... I'm sorry, that does not sound like a lot of fun. But, how about puking all over the grass post wisdom teeth surgery? Hmm, it is pretty horrible.
I'm with ~j., I'm hoping you will love it next time.
I LOVE LOVE your statement to her. That sort of sums up a lot in life, doesn't it?
As a girl who just can't seem to get "knocked up", I loved this post. I too have a hard time hearing people complain about their pregnancies and I have made all sorts of promises to God that if he lets me get pregnant, I'll take it all without complaint- which I know is completely unrealistic:) I do really appreciate women who have a tough time of it in pregnancy but are still appreciative of the experience (not the literal vomiting experience, of course)and are quick to say how worthwhile it all is.
I often wonder if I would feel like you do if I ever can get a baby to grow inside of me. I used to think women who complain about their kids was the worst offense (and to a certain extent it totally gets on my nerves - but a little venting can really help). The pediatrician who was in the hospital when our boy was born told me that I had every right to complain sometimes and that I didn't have to pretend, just because I waited a long time and didn't give birth, that I didn't have the right to get frustrated. So there...and I have gotten frustrated and I think you answered her perfectly.
can't wait for that babe to come!
Ah, yes. I often send God mixed signals when it comes to children. Please, let me have more. And, oh no, I don't think I can handle any more. And, Oh I would love to have a little girl. And, this is so awful (in the midst of upchucking yet again during the 2nd pregnancy that I thought was going to be so much better because everyone says it is and I kept thinking, what are they talking about this is worse) why did I ever think I wanted this. And, wow, this is such an amazing experience, I'm so grateful for the ability to have children. And on and on, gratitude and then disgust and then guilt for my ungratefulness. I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to be learning from the whole process, if you figure it out, let me know!
Ok, so I know you don't want any more morning sickness advice, but for what it's worth, there are new studies showing that a stomach bacteria, H. Pylori, may be resposible for many cases of severe morning sickness. In one study, something like 85% of women with severe morning sickness had the bacteria. It's treated with antibiotics. My SIL, who was so sick that she couldn't function, asked her OB to test her. She tested positive and was feeling worlds better within days of treatment.
Your answer was fantastic. I absolutely agree.
It's okay to not like being pregnant. I don't like to bake, but I love eating cookies!
I do not love being pregnant either, but I DO love your answer.
And I'd really love a donut.
Pregnancy sucks. It does. Very few women have an easy time with it, in my experience. I don't see any reason to look down on others because they actually admit that it sucks. lol. Your answer was 100% right on. Pregnancy and childbirth are very tiny inconveniences once you have your baby, and are all but forgotten shortly afterward.
I don't really enjoy being pregnant, but I still get jealous when I see pregnant women! It's such an amazing and exiting time.
As for the "morning" sickness. I had severe nausea and vomiting all nine months, all day, every day with my eldest(now three). I found that a chunk of fresh ginger, sliced and steeped in hot water with a bit of sugar, really helped me.
It sucks that you've been feeling so cruddy for so long. I'm sure it's very very draining. Hang in there!!!
The Chief needs him some more doughnuts. Indulge and relax!
Here's the main problem: I hate being pregnant but I love having babies. So, here I am waiting for #3. Obviously, then, the good outweighs the bad in the long-run.
I've decided that I'm willing to do it. I'm just not willing to do it cheerfully. Is that really so bad?
Also, I love donuts, too. Pregnant or not.
Sometimes I feel like I cursed you when I said, "the nausea could last the whole time like it did for me!" It never went away, not after three babies, and I just couldn't do it again. So I admire your answer. With every pregnancy, my willingness to do it again dwindled ("I'll have as many as I can...five would be nice...I can't do it again, so one is fine...").
I just hope your deliveries are as awesome as mine were. I think smooth and joyful deliveries are a wonderful reward for 8 months of H-E-double hockey sticks. Actually, I think a baby--ANY BABY--is a wonderful reward and privilege. Good luck over the next two months!!
PS: I linked to you last night, again. Fun.
I really don't appreciate doctors that say things like that! I once had a doctor ask me if I was a "two fisted eater". What an idiot. I about punched him. Never mind I was growing what turned out to be a 10 lb. 7 oz. moose!
Just for the record, I think you look great! Seriously, you always look good. One would never know the hard time you've had. Just hold on and before you know it, you'll be holding the cute little Chief and all of this will be forgotten.
Once we're all feeling better here (I pray soon!) I want to come visit since I don't get to see you on Sundays anymore.
i was humiliated, the first time i peed my pants while puking, during pregnancy. i was in the privacy of my own bathroom, but i was so disgusted with myself.
its so interesting, that for the most part, after you have the baby you don't remember the suckiness of it all so much. yeah, i think i experienced everything you described and now when i think about it i remember it as the "perfect" pregnancy. those dang hormones make us forget.
For me, pregnancy isn't fun. At all. I puke and puke and puke and hurt and hurt and hurt. But in the end, every vomit session and every painful, sleepless night is somehow worth it. So very worth it.
perfect.
I am always, ALWAYS taken by surprise when I go through the same horrible thing I've secretly criticized others for. Moms with no makeup or hair done? Been there. Kids screaming in the store? Done that. Yelling after my kid as he blatantly disobeys me and rides his bike as fast as he can down the road? Yeah, that was me again.
I'm with everyone else here -- I think you qualified your answer perfectly.
You don't know me--I just stumbled onto your blog via Design Mom--but if we did know each other, I'm sure we'd be friends.
I'm pregnant with our first after many years of wondering, and I'm not having much fun. I always thought I'd love being pregnant--my inner earth goddess just knew it would be a glorious time of feeling spiritually connected to all of womanhood (yes, I have a fairly vivid imagination). And I felt bad for friends who complained, thinking they were missing out on one of the uniquely feminine joys.
Now it's my turn, and I'm trying really hard to enjoy the moment, to treasure every day, since it will be over soon. But I'm just not succeeding much. I love this little baby inside me and I love feeling him move, but everything else going on with my body is not fun or glorious or spiritual. At all.
But like you, I hope to do it again as soon as I can. And I love that you quoted Sister Parkin: we CAN do hard things.
Thanks for the uplift on a crappy day.
Being a new reader, I feel as though we could be friends in real life: Provo Bakery, Satsuma fragrance, online coveting...your blog is delightful and I look forward to more posts (pregnancy and all!).
if that doesn't make you want a midwife, i don't know what does.
i don't know what would make you want a midwife, either.
Being very pregnant & very sick myself, I just had this topic come up with my darling niece, who has been unsuccessfully trying to conceive for some time now. She said she will never complain, no matter how often her head is in the toilet when she is pregnant...we'll see. But, I truly empathize with the desire to trade sides.
I say go with a female OB next time. I know it's not always the case, but I dumped my insensitive, always saying stupid stuff male doc after my first child. It made a world of difference in the experience, not to mention much smaller hands. Oh, how I love her.
oh my gosh i forgot all about peeing my pants every time i threw up. haha! and i can't believe it makes me laugh now. oh how miserable it was!
my rule is that girls who don't get sick don't get to complain about silly things like heartburn. girls that get sick can weep and wail. it is the worst.
Hi! I'm new to your blog - came from Chelle's, who is my daughter's sister- in-law. Anyway, I'm enjoying your blog. I'm 50 and have six children and 5 grandchildren, so I'll just give you another perspective. I did love being pregnant and my last one(my baby got his driver's license this wee!)I was throwing up everyday, fortunately only for three months. But I still loved having that little one growing inside. In spite of all the pain and inconvenience I liked feeling a part of the great creation of another human being. Enjoy!
Cyndi Lauper at the Provo Bakery? Now I've seen everything!
Hello to my new friends and commenters. Thanks for being in my neighborhood. (Or is it our neighborhood?)
I love as many perspectives as I can read about.
JP, that was rude. Apologize. Time-after-time.
I have to admit that I don't like being pregnant, but I DO LOVE labor and delivery! It is such an exciting time. If I could just skip to labor and delivery I would most likely be very much like the old woman who lived in a shoe. I think pregnancy keeps me from having more kids.....well, that and hubby.
I love my midwives.
I had some scones yesterday, mmmmmmmmm good.
Love your answer to an impossible question.
Just had to say I have had a male doctor, the same one, for all 9 of my pregnancies, and I am SO happy with him! I recommend him to anyone who asks. Not that I have anything against midwives, just thought I'd put in a good word for a male OB/GYN here.
Thanks for listening.
I still don't like donuts.
I only barfed once during my three pregnancies (I was moving furniture around my work and I think my body was trying to tell me something).
I had a huge fat doctor tell me that I was gaining too much weight. I asked him if the weight was putting me or the baby at risk and he said, "No, I just don't want your husband to think you're fat." What? Has he seen my husband???
Granted, I did gain about 50 pounds with that pregnancy, but then after the baby was born I lost 60 pounds!!! Stupid doctor.
By the way, he's still fat.
How strange, I was at the SAME bakery yesterday morning! Hmmm...it makes me wonder how far off we had missed each other. However, I wasn't pregnant so probably wasn't as memorable as you were to the 'donut girl.'
P.S. I don't recommend the maple bar...the "maple" was a bit too whipped for my taste. Tasted a bit too much like Crisco.
That was good to hear because although you overcame your trial...there are still some of us that can't get pregnant and are hoping to be able to soon complain about the nausea too!
I go to a midwife (thirty weeks along today), and I swear the entire practice of midwives are obese. They keep talking to me about my weight gain - 12 lbs. one month, 10 lbs. the next month. I feel like saying, "Shut up! This is my fourth kid! The weight is going to come off because I work my butt off post-partum!" Can't I just enjoy my one consolation (food) for how crappy I feel all day, everyday?
Hello. You don't know me and I promise I'm not a weirdo. I don't even know how I found your blog, but I love the way and the things you write about, and if I knew you for real, I think we'd be great friends.
Usually you make me laugh with your fun observations, but your post about being pregnant made me cry. And not sad cry. A happy one. I just wanted you to know that I was terribly sick the whole 10 (not 9) months and HATED be pregnant. I know you know this, but every single vomit+pee your pants+labor pains+constipation+back aches+all the other terrible things that come with being pregnant, is ALL worth it. Just wait until they put that little one in your arms. And while I dread the thought of being pregnant again, (dread it so much that when I have the slightest bit of nausea I run screaming to buy a pregnancy test) I look forward to it more than anything.
Thanks for making me laugh. Hang in there. :)
Amber
www.wherethewildingsare.blog.com
Amen, sistah!
can i please have your red skirt if you ever decide to donate your wardrobe to charity.... i have been in love with it since i saw your b-day pics). or can you tell me where i can get one like it (i would even promise to never wear it in public if you're worried about things like that... i'd just wear it around my house whenever i'm alone)?
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