Sometimes I get asked if I ever have blog envy.
Holy crap, yes.
Yes, yes and yes.
I can click on a blog, read a couple posts (or look at pictures) and in a few moments time be reduced to a big, boring, slouch-of-a-lazy-loser. And those thoughts will swim around in my head all day until I have pretty much decided that the author of the blog couldn't possibly be really All That.
She's probably really mean to her husband, I think as I make Chup dinner.
(I rarely make Chup dinner.)
I am in a better place these days since I learned that my blog envy (blenvy---you heard here first folks!) usually comes from reading a blog that emphasizes my insecurities. Like if someone is really good at something I wish I were really good at, like, I don't know, punctuation. Sometimes it's just better of me to leave those types of blogs alone until I can appreciate the blogger and the blog reader (me.)
I know that blenvy is rampant in the motherhood blog circles. I am not there yet, but I am sure that is a new level of the playing field. Just the other day, I was reading a blog of a new mother who had an adorable bassinet for her baby when I was just telling Chup that we should splurge on a Moses basket. Wicker and all! But just knowing that some newborns get a real Victorian bassinet made me feel bad for The Chief to be stuffed in a contraption made out of woven reed. But then I had to remember: MOSES WAS A PROPHET.
When I first started blogging (back in the day when there were seven of us) I encountered my first experience with blenvy. Her name is Kacy and she is the best. Not only was she a wife, mother, the wittiest blogger around, but she also had a teaching career in writing. It was too much. I'd read her posts (and sometimes her archives) and literally foam at the mouth. Funny. Oh so dang funny and contemplative and just perfectly irreverent. And she'd get billions of comments from blog worshipers (male and female) and sometimes other people that I admired. One time I left a comment which caused me so much anxiety (was it clever enough?) that I had gastric pains for a whole afternoon.
Anyway, finally I decided that I should stop reading because it was like being in touch with my failed dream. And just right around that time she became pregnant and was too sick to blog regularly and she went for months without posting. Coincidence? But being well-connected has it's advantages because Kacy happens to be a friend of my brother's from high school. So I asked Christopher and Lisa if they would ask Kacy and her equally amusing husband if they would consider coming to my birthday party last year. Would you believe that they came? We even conversed, and I felt really shy, and like my face was going to melt off, but they came!
This whole experience led me to come to peace with my blenvy. I stopped being jealous and started to be inspired. Ah yes, that feels much better. No need to be hating someone for something that they are talented at of which I am not. Either learn more, I say to myself, or click that little red X button at the top right corner of my screen.
Then I do myself a favor and think of one thing I am good at, like, I don't know, coming up with my own rules of punctuation.
Yes, that's it.
***Moses Basket from Sachi Organics
March 20, 2008
Blenvy
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45 comments:
I blenvy you.... true story.
Blenvy is a vicious entity. I've even thought once if I ever happen to have children, I'd have to stop reading blogs -the mom blog circles are fierce, y'all. And I mean every definition of the word: FIERCE.
The most important thing to remember: that person is creating an online image of themselves. Rarely do you find a blog now where someone isn't censoring themselves in some way; whether it be only posting pictures of themselves from the best angles, or leaving out that part that their adorable husband really has some disgusting toe fungus...trying to force your personal life to be entertainment for others can be a tricky situation. Embellishment is a blogger's bff.
Mostly you can only trust anonymous bloggers or private bloggers...but then again, maybe not. They could just be making it all up...perhaps we are all impostors.
I was just talking to my friend tonight about this very topic. I can't say more than amen to that. I tend to look at the number of comments as the benchmark for greatness. Sad, but true.
And, because I have serious blenvy for your fabulous blog, I'm afraid to say more for fear of making a fool of myself. That and it's late, and I'm likely to blather.
All who blenvy CJane, say I...
I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I...
Your the perfect person to have blenvy over. Very witty and charming, a bit poignant and brutally honest - but the one thing you lack is narcissism. That is an art in blogging land. I have read many a blog where the author speaks of how narcissistic and braggart she feels she is being (probing her friends to tell her she's not)and how she hates that but then brags about how she "is the best mother, wife, friend, sister, homebuilder, etc". Oh and how terrible it is to be "accidentally pregnant". WHAT?? WHATEVER!! Puke. (then she blocked her blog from anon posters...hmm, scared of the truth??) Anyway - CJane, you rock! I/we loooove to read your blog and I can betcha a million bucks you have lots of Blogees with mad blenvy. You totally drop these posts like they're hot!
Blenvy.
Thanks for the diagnosis.
I.
I blenvy you too. You are so correct, Kacy is HYSTERICAL!
I was thinking about this very thing on my drive home yesterday. How maybe I should quit reading blogs because I could really grow to hate my life...but then I decided I needed to expand my heart and mind a little more.
i have one of those moses baskets. love it. get one.
My husband has disgusting toe fungus.
I know just the moses basket blogger your talking about too...yeah I definitely tell myself I'm way cooler than her just so I feel better.
And I didn't even want to read your blog for a long time because of the blenvy and you know so many peeps and I know and it's "Cjane this and Cjane that..." on their blogs and I was all...whatevs. Then I got over it the only way I know how--embracing it. And by it I mean you. Once you embrace the blog(ger) the envy starts to dwindle. (Unless you buy that d*mn moses basket).
She sure is good at punctuation. And lots of other things. Things like yoga and graphic design. What kind of crazy goes to national yoga conventions? I wish she would just stop all together. Oh wait- she can't- she designs my headers...
The thing I like about Kacy's blog is that she's not trying to be something she's not (creating an online image), and she's not trying to brag, she's just smart and funny!
You should totally get a moses basket. I only had one with my last two and it was worth it!
Oh, I love, love, love my darling's Moses basket. I felt guilty because someone made us the most beautiful cradle and after the baby was born we mainly used the Moses basket.
We received it as a gift and I scoffed. No longer. It was the BEST present ever. We didn't even use the crib for a long time. The poor kid used this basket for the first 5 months of his life. So handy to have a portable bed around. If I ever have a girl I am just using the basket and making new pink blankets....
I worship this post. It's really good.
I'm glad you read my blog--it makes me feel less like a creepy lurker on yours. And also, a laundry basket works just like a Moses basket. Tell Chup I said that.
Blenvy. Well said. Something I have felt all to often and now with your blog too. The twist is appreciated though. It can't be envy, no, inspiration instead. So here I am... being inspired.
As for the mom blog circle, I hope that mine is a true interpretation of our little world. Some days good, others not. I don't love to sugarcoat our reality. It is what it is. So I appreciate when other blogs are "real" too.
I know precisely what you're talking about, because, cjane, as a frequent lurker I blenvy you all the time.
(Pardon me... now I have to go deal with vicious gastric pains because I'm afraid my comment wasn't clever enough!)
This may make you feel better but my daughter, who I believe turned out pretty ok, resided in a Campbell tomato soup box until we could afford a carrier for her. We lived in the boonies and it was way far into town. We stopped at the grocery store, a canned foods warehouse on the way home from the hospital. I needed something to put her in a she fit perfectly into this cute little campbell soup box and so it became her home away from home whenever we went anywhere, until she grew out of it of course.
I think that today with it's abundance it is easy to feel lacking. All we have to do is look back to the generations before us to keep our perspective.
I love the Moses basket too, I bet Marilyn would have looked cute in one of those. I bet the Chief would look adorable in a soup box too. Oh and by the way the Chinese airlines (the name escapes me) gives parents cardboard boxes to put their babies in on their flights. It supposedly is very comforting to a baby to be in the snuggly space of a cardboard box. Who knew?
Oh, and CJ you have nothing to be blenvious of. If all the blogs in the world were the same the world would be so boring.
Isn't that how the saying goes?
I love the variety of blogs, just like the variety of people. I wonder if apples are envious of oranges? Or is envy just a human thing?
Hi, I'm pinto...and I suffer from c jane blenvy...and I'm also confessing that I've been a recent lurker...and this blog makes me laugh ALL the time and I like it...um...and today I watched an episode of lost while eating frozen toll house cookie dough. That is me. And I like you.
Please don't think I'm weird....or TOO weird...
I'm a creepy lurker on kacy's blog.
Please tell me you made up the word "blenvy," because then we can officially call you "cjane, the shakespeare of the blogosphere," which I think has a nice ring to it, don't you?
Don't be blenvious, but yes, I did make that word up. Isn't nice to have a word to describe what we feel?
And no one here needs to have gastric pains. Every comment has been clever enough . . . so far.
C-
I can call you that, right?
Are you on drugs? Because if you are, you should quit. It's bad for the baby.
Don't you realize that you are the enviable one?
I guess not.
Who else asks people to leave her a word, a WORD, and people are batting down her door just to leave one?
Who's that?
Oh yeah, you.
139 comments not enough?
Who else has people coming to her blog in droves just to see pictures of her shadow, or her croc, or her pink skirt?
Who?
Yeah, you.
Who else can wear pig tails and still have people take them seriously.
Hmm?
You.
Who else has people hanging on their every word when they're talking about laying around on the couch?
Me?
No, you!
People couldn't care less if I lay on my couch. But you, you make me want to lay on my couch better. In a better outfit.
For the record, I don't see the point of Moses baskets.
Unless you bicycle everywhere, and won't have a place for a car seat in your basket.
They are useless. There. I said it.
Of course, car seats could be pase, and I wouldn't know.
I'm not cool like that.
That's why I envy you.
http://ourmillermemories.blogspot.com/2008/03/kate-in-baby-janes-basket.html
Above is my Kate in her sister's Moses basket. I got it from babystyle and I LOVE it!!!
I saw Chup at Costco today...I looked for you but no such luck!
Hope all is going well. I'll keep checking back to see when your little man arrives!!!
I would be so nervous if you came to my birthday party. And like 50 extra people would show up because you are a blog celeb. They would all be nervous too.
You should blog about being a blog celeb. Do people recognize Chup at the mall bc of your blog? I would.
It sucks to be envious. I have to admit I've been a little down lately, and I'm pretty sure it's because I've been reading too many blogs, spending too much time on the computer, comparing myself and my skills to everyone else. It's so funny how everyone sugar-coats their lives (to the point of being ridiculously cheesy). It's so refreshing when people get honest and share gory details.
I also totally related to your post about shopping online and getting caught up in how much you lusted after, to the point of feeling nauseous. My reaction is I get stomach cramps, and I find it hard to fall asleep at night! I loved your advice, though - I don't think I'll forget it (about being carnally and spiritually-minded). Anyway - thanks for writing exactly what I've been feeling.
P.S. I think I need a little blog-detox
I must admit to wondering if my comments are clever enough:) I'm not a young mom anymore (nanajan is my what my grandkids call me) and I have blenvy that I didn't have such a great resource when I was a young mother. I think it's great to get ideas and inspiration from others on the most important job in the world. Now I need to get more grandmothers blogging . . .
You deserve a medal if for nothing more than the fact your blog brings together some pretty hilarious readers that, despite the gastric pain they experience later, are not afraid to spell it all out in your space for commenting.
Whit and I talked today—over the phone, if you can believe that people still do that these days—about how we’ve been blenvying you for quite sometime, and leave it to CJane to give us the words for what we were thinking, ‘cause we simply could not do it ourselves. Aside from your blessings of increase on my vocabulary due to your unique nomenclature, I’m glad for a place to go to read, laugh, and leave with something to giggle about later in the day (and envy the wording of while I try to get to sleep at night).
Oh, and once you’ve come up with those unique rules of punctuation, do let me know. I could not be more flattered that you read mine in the first place, since, and I’m not kidding, as I blog, sometimes, I think: WWCJD—What Would CJane Do?
I always read your blog when I'm having a rough(er) day. And it either leaves me in a puddle of tears because I wish I was you (dang these pregnancy hormones!), or I email the post to all my friends because it was so clever. Whatever your blenvy, know I have it for you (or your blog, since I don't know you). But I can't keep away from your blog, it's too creative and witty.
P.S. I used to be in Kacy and what's-his-face Faulconer's ward and they are the hippest, huh? We got invited to their 24th of July bbq two years in a row, and for us it was like being invited to the swaggiest after-Oscar party ever. Well, except without the gowns and paparazzi.
I would like to add that I don't think there's anything wrong necessarily with creating a blog identity. Besides, if you don't purposely create a blog identity, one will naturally occur on its very own.
We have so many different selves; we have so many different identities. It's wonderful to be so complex.
I think most bloggers within your circles, C Jane, are honest and open. However one can't really believe everything one reads on the internet. And I don't bring this up to point fingers at Ms. Perfect for having the perfect blog when really she beats her children. I just think it's important to keep in mind that people do censor themselves, and their blog identity might be entirely different from their real life identities as mother or daughter or lover, etc. And that's okay. All of our identities can be equally fabulous, if different. Still, a reason blogging can be so addictive is the opportunity it gives us to fashion a blog identity of our own liking.
But when we choose to constantly compare ourselves, and allow ourselves to feel badly about our own lives after reading immaculate blogs, it's good to take a break and remind ourselves that no matter what everyone's crap stinks. Everyone still has problems.
I speak from personal experience -I've had blenvy that has caused me to start having heavy feelings towards that blogger. I want to find SOMETHING they're not good at. I remind myself that they are not blogging to make me feel bad; if I feel bad after reading their blog, then that's my own personal problem, and I can either stop comparing myself and ENJOY IT or just stop reading that blog altogether. We always have the option to feel good about ourselves.
i i eee (I feel funny calling you that) AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!
I have a huge fear of talking about my blog with people face-to-face. c jane only represents a side of Courtney. I let c jane be c jane on the internet and Courtney be Courtney in real life. When the two collide I feel awfully insecure.
I don't have a fear of talking about myself in the third person however. That is just natural.
Good discussion.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts.
Ah yes, well having a strange moniker that makes people think WTF?! is all a part of my mysterious plan for my own new(ish) blog identity!
WHA
HA
HA
HAAA!
For some reason, I don't suffer from blenvy too often. Maybe here and there if I'm having a "blah" day. But I DO enjoy blogs different from mine and being entertained by people like you who have a definite knack for giving me a fun read.
I'm curious why your blog address is different than (.blogspot.com)?
I don't suffer blenvy as outlined, but I suffer from blenvy corollary. I get anxious because people are doing so many cool things that I want to be doing, could be doing, if I could just squeeze in 5 more hours in the day or stop sleeping entirely. It's distressing! And then I do nothing to compensate (the universe seeks equilibrium.)
i suffer more from blannoyance than blenvy.
not of YOUR blog of course.
your blogs make me so so so happy!
Hey there! I decided that I should probably de-lurk myself to come out and say that I totally blenvy you.
And I was also pleased that when I looked up to my "little red X button at the top right corner of the screen," it was exactly the same as yours! That has to stand for something right?
Have an amazing Easter and keep smiling!
I too blenvy you Mrs. Cjane! One day I hope to be just like you and blenvyed by many! If only in my dreams.....
These comments have convinced me that I need to go negative on my blog asap. ; )
I like Courtney and cjane. I bought a Moses basket at a garage sale for $3 and fixed a couple tears with raffia-it still kind of sucks. My blog is a standard template with no color. I like yours.
"Blenvy" great term and post! I'm so glad that you're talking about this. I think it's hard not to be envious of so many bloggers. I'm constantly inspired when I read blogs.
I wonder if you really know, CJ, just how many people blenvy you?
I can think of one...
So I have to tell you that I really think you a blenvy clique. I was sent the link to your blog by a friend in Idaho, obviously you blog is witty enough to attract fans that don't know you and will likely never meet you. I was told to make sure I read your older posts and happened upon this one. I should be working hard not hardly working but have enjoyed the time I have spent on your blog. Good luck with the baby, it will be fabulous.
excellent post. and you should totally submit "blenvy" to urban dictionary. then you can refer back to your own definition . which i love whenever i use my own submitted word "blitching" (blog bitching) it is spectacular! just my two cents there.
loved the face melting description.
I have blog envy often but not so much about the actual blog, but about the cool people that comment. I see some awesom comments and then think how amazing it would be if those cool people came over and read my blog.
Someday...
Hallie :)
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/
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