Dear Blogworld,
This letter is just between you and me right? I mean, I need some procurement of confidentiality because it's not often that a certified Know It All like me asks for advice. Plus, I am totally embarrassed.
So, it is Father's Day and all day long people have been asking Chupa how it feels to be a grade-A, genuine, down-home Papa for real. His answers have ranged from funny to serious, but mostly I think he is quite pleased with himself. After all, slap some dark rimmed glasses on our child, plus some prolific facial hair and WHAM! You've got virtual, blood-sharing twins! Who wouldn't embrace their own mini-me?
But there might be one problem. See here, it is about me. I think that though Chup is grateful for my everlasting ability to nurture his child via my ample corporeal cafeteria, he might take issue with another of my mothering devices: my baby talk. I think it turns him decidedly off.
It is true since I've become a mother I can't help but raise my voice a couple octaves higher, coo at my baby and say things like "do we have poopies?" but except I sing the word poopies like they were poppies (garden variety!) Also, in the same helium-inspired voices I make up all sorts of silly nicknames for regular words so that sneezes are chickeezes and hiccups are now chiccups.
And I could go on.
Sure Chup uses his same regular voice to converse with our child. He even lets his voice sink a couple bars lower a la Barry White ("come on baby, you know you want me to change you.") Oh yes, Chup takes his fatherhood with a swallow of maturity and serenity. He doesn't purposely add or subtract consonants in conversation just to sound like a character in a Pixar film.
But I do.
Oh I do!
And I think I see Chup cringe every time it emerges from my throat. One time he left the nursery when I started to read Harvey Potter's Balloon Farm using nothing but my premium baby talk voice to our child. This obvious reaction has now made me paranoid about my baby talk and the stability of our marriage.
Please Blogworld, help a girl out. Do I quit the talk and save the marriage?
c jane
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30 comments:
What, I'm first?
Get some helium balloons for tomorrow night's FHE and have Chup just try it once. Maybe he'll actually like baby-talk.
maybe save some "special" baby talk just for chup, only delivered between the sheets, if you follow where i'm going... betcha he'll change his mind about baby talk right quick!
Babies respond to 'baby-talk', it's been clinically proven. The higher tone of voice helps them differentiate and determine that they are being spoken to. Plus, if it feels right to you, go for it! Maybe just cut down on the cutesy words and keep the helium tone? I think he'll adjust eventually! :)
Nice Courier.
talk it out with Chup! What ideas does he come up with?
Linguistically speaking, the special words aren't the greatest for language development, but then again have you REALLY ever seen an eight year old talk in baby talk as their lingua franca...yeah me neither. Probably don't really need to worry there. Ditto Barb on the helium tone though! Studies prove it, and Chup can adjust plus the helium tone will disappear in a year or so.
I'm with Natalie. It works.
I don't think it is possible for a new mother to not use baby-talk. Babies love it. Just tell Chup that you are contributing to the growth of brain neurons/synapses...it is scientifically proven (shhh, I have no idea?)
I might cut back on the letter swapping and use the correct word but not the tone or pitch! Hey - you can't be wrong if you've got Wikipedia on your side - right?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentese
You know Courier is my first love. Followed up by tangerines.
My husband took issue with baby talk too. I did do my best to nix the non-words.
To my hubby's credit, our child was eloquent and verbose at a very early age. Sentences before the first birthday! That wasn't the intent, but he's sure it was due to proper language usage. Whatever. (I still regressed sometimes.)
Here's the thing...for those who don't do baby talk, it's sort of annoying.
I've been mommin' it for 12 years now and this is the first time I have heard that baby talk is clinically proven....clinically proven to bug the Chup out of his Cabra maybe.
What if you save it for when Chup is at work?
Are you a speech therapist's nightmare when you baby talk, liTHping and all?
So the speech therapist in the NICU at Primary Children's Hospital told me that baby talk is great for babies. The more drastic changes in your intonation helps the language centers in their brains develop more quickly. So there. It's scientific...and he can't argue with science...and he doesn't want a dumb kid. Really you are being a good mother by doing it. So there.
There's a girl in my ward who uses the most atrocious obnoxious baby talk you have ever heard with her little girls. Half of what she says are not actual words. And her daughters (aged 2 and 4) are the most ridiculously eloquent children. Their speaking ability is almost frightening.
And I had heard the same thing about the sing song quality of baby talk being stimulating to a baby's brain. So I'm pretty sure you're doing The Chief a favor. When Chup get's annoyed just say, "I'm working on his language centers!!"
-Anon..just in case that annoying mom reads your blog and recognizes herself
I dare you to try and stop.
It's impossible.
I believe that if you are a baby talker from the start, it's just something you can't help.
Just don't start talking to Chup like a baby, because I have seen moms do that, and even I am turned off by it.
Daring me to stop. I think I might take that challenge!
And I do lithp. But that is because I have a genuine speech impediment. I am no help to The Chief there.
I've done a little research...You're really doing them a favor (the baby AND Chup). You are making baby smarter and Chup, of course, wouldn't want his baby to be less than the genius he was meant to be right? When the baby grows up and gives his valedictorian address at Harvard, he'll owe his success all to you, and motherese. Now for the proof.
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/brain/episode2/babytalk/
Jane, I don't know anything about clinically proven studies (and I'm too lazy to find out) but I've my own CPS for you right here:
I've got three boys aged 22 months to 5 1/2, and my baby talkin' hasn't extended past the first year. What I'm trying to say is, take advantage of anything sweet and baby-ish while you can - because it doesn't last long! Soon enough Daddy will take over and you'll be something along the lines of very uncool chopped liver. So yeah. Do what feels good homegirl.
He will be doing it in no time... just wait.
I.hate.baby.talk. It makes people sound ridiculous, and the "scientific proof" thing is complete bunk. Many cultures don't use baby talk, or even talk to babies at all, and they learn language just fine.
It won't bug him after your 6 week check-up. The universe will return to order then, if you know what I mean.
It's like separation of church and state... as long as you keep your belief in baby talk out of the bedroom all parties can usually get along.
i'm sorry, but i have to side with the chup on this one. i am also annoyed by the baby talk! one of the words that bugs me the most? POTTY. can't stand it. teach your kids to say TOILET-- it sounds SO much better! at my 35 week OB appt today, my nurse said, "why don't you go ahead and go potty for me?" WHAT? seriously?
awww kaute!!! (cute)
I think it's a male thing - my husband hates it too. And insisted that we use words like "defecate" and other such technicalese.
Now that my kids are grown and have kids of their own, they won't let it go that we were so "correct!'
Do what feels good!! Better an upset husband than grown kids hassling you for the rest of your life!
I always thought I would hate babytalk and avoid it at all costs.
But after just a few months working in a portrait studio... I find I weelly use it a wot.
And the little ones do respond to the singsong... I think that's why I caved!
Just do it!
If I stopped doing what annoyed my husband I wouldn't have 1000 cookbooks, shoes in every color, flat screen tv in my kitchen, purses coming out my nose and a granite top patio table. You give in on this and you can kiss the future creature comforts goodbye. Hold aloft your colors, and carry on!!!
YOu can't fight your instinct with your child- if you were born a baby talker you'll die a baby talker.
I sang to my kids for heavens sake- I am still married
My advice is to save Chup the torture of talking like that. It can be hard and you can easily get into a habit with that type of language. I've had sisters as well as girlfriends who talk that way and all I can say is that it drives guys crazy (not in a good way). I got to the point where I had to ask them to stop, for the sake of family (and potential) relationships.
Imagine the most annoying sound you've ever heard before, now imagine Chup doing that every time he's around The Chief.
That's what it is for him.
I grew up with a boy, the youngest in the fam with 5 older sis's that baby talked him non-stop. No crum, he still baby talked as a child and needed speech therapy as a pre-teen!
But it doesn't stop me with my little 9 month old chuba chuba choo choo boo boo baby. Your babe will reach an age (prob sometime in his second year) when it feels weird to continue baby talking him, and you'll phase it out. Hubby is prob having some freudian penial envy for the love and attention showered on his "mini-me." Just make sure he thinks he's your numero uno (though realistically he's lost that spot for good) and maybe he'll accept your mama love language.
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