We've teased Steph since childhood about her creative hobby of the self-portrait. Whenever pictures from the family camera were developed there'd be a stack of Steph taken by her very self while looking casually vogue. We thought it was so narcissistic, but she'd just flippantly respond that had we her voluptuous lips we'd cultivate the same past time.Many times in these past few months I've quietly thanked Steph for being so gratuitous in taking these photos. Having her laptop, I have scrolled through filed photography stopping to stare at all her bright-eyed, straight-armed shots. Some are solemn, some whimsical, while others were undoubtedly to be framed for Mr. Nielson's work desk. I like to experience her energy through film. I am grateful for what art can help us feel and remember. I repent of the teasings (only a little).
Besides, what is so wrong about a girl who likes how she looks? If the Lord grants me daughters I hope to find their self-portraited faces littering our Nikon's memory stick. It is a healthy way of being grateful for what DNA and Heaven provided you. And if it's true what they say, beauty is too fleeting not to enjoy while it graces. To be enchanted with yourself? Brilliant.
It is difficult at times wondering what the future will look like for this self-portrait artist. Something inside of my soul tells me that these stacks of pictures will have a role to play in her healing. The insignificant activities that we mindlessly cultivate always have a way of showcasing when they're needed most. Time--as always--will tell.
In the meantime, I continue to have my breath be stolen as I slide through her i-photos files.
Man, I miss her.
The Jed Wells Headshot Project
108 Pieces of Opinion:
I'm happy to hear about how Steph was always a self portrait artist! I have a 5 year old girl who recently has taken to a ton of self portraits every time she gets ahold of the camera. It's so fun to see those photos--I hope she always finds beauty enough in herself to capture by herself.
She is gorgeous! I always enjoy her self portraits on her blog :) My mother's photo albums are also filled with self portraits of myself from my childhood...and I was also teased for it! Now I can hide them all on my memory card-muahaha! I'm still praying for you all... take care of yourself and all of those beautiful babies :)
Stephanie's pictures of her self are stunning, she is just a beautiful, beautiful person. I am the photographer in my family and I find my self behind the camera most of the time. I need to remember to take more self portraits. Thanks for sharing with all of us, our hearts and prayers are with you and her.-nena
I've been wanting to leave a comment for a long time--like over a year now of great Clark family blog reading. But, I was worried about coming out of my blog-lurking closet and appearing as a scary stalker. In any case, please know how impressed I am with your whole family and that my prayers have been with you. My temple prayers, too. I am grateful for your openness and willingness to share during the difficult times. You (and your family) are inspiring.
Thank you for sharing this. She is SO beautiful! But it goes far deeper than her outter appearance - her inner spirit just radiates through her portraits. And who better to capture that than herself?
Beautiful woman, beautiful family - always has been, always will be.
Lots of love and prayers your way.
Stephanie
That's so nice for you that you have so many photos of your sweet sister. Loving yourself as she does is truly a special gift.
Stephanie's spirit seems to come through in her photos. It is that spirit, along with the love of her family and her deep faith that will sustain her in the future.
I used to be like that, and I wish I still were. Thinking that it was vanity, I forced it out of myself. It's one of the things about Nie that I love! How she was shameless about her good looks. Writing that makes it seem silly that there is ever shame about something like that. I think about that part of her all the time! Lets hope all daughters everywhere are so blessed. We've got her as a great role model! In so many ways...
I must admit I've wondered the same things when contemplating Steph's life in the future. The one thing I know for sure - fire burned her skin but did nothing to her soul.
She does a great job with self portraits. I'm impressed.
I know she has a long way to go but I know she is blessed with a wonderful, loving family who will help her in whatever way they possibly can.
Your family is amazing and I only wish I could express my life and love as eliquently as you do. I am praying (even though I have not spoken to our Heavenly Father in a long time), so I hope that since He hasn't heard my voice for awhile he will listen. I pray for your peace, her health, Christian's strength, and the children't happiness and acceptance. Thank you for your daily inspiration to be a better person.
She will always be beautiful...and in time she will see that. Thank you for the beautiful words.
i really like this post. thank you.
Stunning. What a beautiful post this evening. I have been following the Nie Nie blogs and CJane blog for just a couple of weeks. NieNie truly has inspired me - not only to begin a blog, but to be a better wife, mommy, and person. My favorite postings include the balloon tradition, especially January 4, 06. Something about the way you both create posts - true art at it's finest, incorporating such family tradition. I only wish the best to you and your family - prayer is powerful. I just know those self-portraits will continue, more beautiful than ever.
I've been going through Nie's blog a lot lately and marvel at all the pictures she has with her in it. I always shy out of pictures because I don't look the best since I had kids...this makes me want to be in more pictures...just in case.
she is beautiful.
the pictures are lovely and i do the very same thing. my iPhoto library are filled with myPhotos! i'm sure they are very poignant for you and your family to look at now... and yes, they will aid in her recovery as painfully, i suppose, she is being remade. but it will be in His image so she will always be lovely! and courtney, of course you miss her...i get it. much love and prayers from a new nie nie and c jane reader, jeannie
I just want to repeat my comment of last night, that Christian, Stephanie, and their whole family (including you, Courtney) will have rough days, but your beauty is Eternal and unchanging, and I know we will witness the truth of that.
If Stephanie had a different soul, no matter how physically beautiful she was, we wouldn't feel as we do about her. She and your family have touched our hearts deeply with your spirits, and changed our lives. Thank you so much.
Diane
I wondered about that after her accident... then I realized it's the look in her eyes that makes her beautiful.
Marsha
I get as much from some of the comments from your readers as I do from your posts, cJane. I thank you again and again for allowing us to follow along with your family's journey. And like some of the comments I've read here, I've been inspired not only to start a blog for my friends and family, but also to start opening my heart to spiritual faith again. It's been a long time.
Blessings.
i've also oft thought of after the accident when the bandages come off ... she has an indomitable spirit that shines through her eyes ... her husband will love her nonetheless, as will her darling children ... adjustments will be made and peace and grace will follow her and her family ... thank you, courtney, for this blog -- i started reading when i first was told of the accident, i even went back and read your blog from its beginning and i have wanted to tell you how much growth i see in you ... how much you have grown up, how your blog has matured and shows the *real you* ... how big your heart is and how deep your soul is ...
thank you for this ....
I can't even imagine not being able to talk to my sister- my best friend- every day. I can imagine how much you must miss her.
I too loved this post. I love that she was in so many of her posts. She is such a beauty and it shines through in so many ways. She is so lucky to have a sister like you. Thanks for sharing!
Funny how every time I have a thought about you, your family, or Stephanie - you always seem to address it in your blog... Yesterday - or was it the day before - I blogged about body image...especially what we throw out to our youth...then that afternoon as I was outside I started thinking about Stephanie and thinking how wonderful that all things will be restored to our resurrected bodies...and it got me thinking about how our Savior retained those scars...to help us. Of all people who deserve a perfect body He does, yet He retained the wound in His side, the nail prints in His hands...as a testimony of who He is and what He did for us. AMAZING.
I'm so glad that Stephanie will get to shed her's through Him!
I know you have lots of hard days ahead...We are still praying.
we miss her too
Steph's "love of self" is one of my most favorite things about her. Her willingness to embrace her beauty and share it with us, inspired me to look at myself differently, in a more healthy way. I am ETERNALLY grateful to her for that.
She just radiates, doesn't she. What a knock-out.
She is so beautiful and so photogenic. Whenever I try to take a photo of myself I must say they turn out ~ well not so good.
It always amazes me her optimistic side which you can see on every photo she tuck even of herself. I saw that the camera loves you too, so I guess it is in the family.
Both of you are an inspiration to me and I am continuing to pray for Stephanie!
Hugs and smiles Suzy
I tend to think that caterpillars are quite beautiful, but it is a miracle that transforms them to a butterfly... she will be more beautiful when she sheds the crystalis , I am sure.
Frankly, I've rarely liked narcissistic self-portraits, but Nie's photos never really seemed narcissistic. She's look at the camera straight on and capture the moment she was living in instead of forcing the moment by posing herself, going out of her way to make her way look pretty. Granted, she's a natural beauty, but the vain self-portraits I've seen by women show them with their heads tilted up or down to hide or stretch out their saggy chins and opening their eyes wide like deer in headlights. Nie's always seemed to be "this is how I feel...right NOW *click*" It seemed like a kind of self-appreciation I could admire instead of roll my eyes at. That self-appreciation is wonderfully infectious and I hope nothing will affect her confidence to show that. I don't envy beauty, but I aspire to that confidence and comfort in her own skin, her own life, and her own moments.
Oh courtney, more tears. You move me so much and i thank you. She is beautiful right into her very soul and Mr Nielson will just be so happy to show his love for her in many many ways.
Speaking of love and beauty you don.t do to badly yourself. I think your amazing. I live in England and read your blog every day sometimes twice and you and steph i feel are both living with me. More thank yous
with love Karan
Her beautiful spirit will always shine through in all of her future self portraits just as it does in the ones you enjoy now. Oh, to have lips like hers!
ok, I have lurked here for a while and have prayed for your sister/bil, their kids, you and yours too. . .
This is beautiful and something true for so many to think about . . .but mostly I am posting to tell YOU, hang in there! You are doing good and I am sure missing your interaction with your sister is quite heavy at times. You remain in all our prayers.
well said, ceej.
your whole family is beautiful.
I love Stephanie's self portraits. My favorite are the glimpses of herself, almost candid, as if someone snuck in a photo before she realized it. I pray that they bring her happiness and comfort when she is able to see them again!
Stephanie cultivates beauty, which is even better than being beautiful. Your family is brilliant. Best of love and luck to you all.
Courtney - Like so many others, you don't me. And, also like so many others, I feel as though I have gotten to know you so well through this blog. I am totally addicted and feel as though I have cheated my employer for how much time I spend checking your blog and reading old ones. Totally addicted. But, it is because of this addiction, that you and your family are always in my mind and remain in my prayers. I can't get you and your family off my mind. I don't know Stephanie at all but my cousin Sara dated Christian her freshman year at BYU. I heard about him constantly and what a saint he was. He took the time to show my other cousin and I around BYU our Freshman year. He was so energetic and kind. I keep thinking how fortunate those children are to have been blessed with those two parents. They must be special little ones. I am also sad for you. Your last blog made me realize how much you must really miss Stephanie. My older sister is my very best friend and reading your blog brought tears to my eyes. I would miss her too. We are praying, please know that. And, I know with everything in me, that the Lord hears and answers every sincere prayer. In His own time, but they are all answered. Thank you for your blog. You are, as is Stephanie, Christian, and your whole family, inspiring us all.
she is beautiful!
I'm a pediatric RN and have worked with severely burned children and young adults. While she may look different, she will still be the Stephanie we all love. And with the more advanced technologies medicine now has, in time she will look very similar to those "before" shots. Never forget the power of the Priesthood and the tender mercies which may yet prove providential.
And on a side note....any chance the Clarks would adopt me? :-)
I windered where you got all the beautiful photos! I must tell you I did not read Nie's blog before the accident. I have since gone back and read through her wonderful posts. Your family is indeed a blessing and I want you to know you are all in my daily prayers.
((hugs))
She is GORGEOUS and ALWAYS will be. That is the blessing that God gives us. He loves us no matter what our hair color is. If it's curly or straight. It also doesn't matter if we have lips like Stephanie or like mine(thin). He loves us if we are fat or skinny. We are all lovable. I have a feeling that this is just going to enhance the beautiful Stepanie that we have all grown to love. It's amazing what a blessing she has been to so many. I can't wait for her to get back to her blog family. We too miss her. Thank you Courtney for all you are doing. This world be better if there were more Clark's in it!!
She is a beautiful woman, both inside and out. You and your family are blessed that she took time to capture that beauty in pictures.
I've thought about Stephs self portraits a lot while I've read throught the archives of her blog. She knew she was beautiful both inside and out. And that is very rare for anyone, especially someone so young. Her self portraits will look different in the future, but what really matters to Steph,her family, will be the same. And from what I gather, through reading the NieNie Dialogues, that will be all she needs. It may be a long road, but she is up to it.
I, too, had an addiction to self portraits as a child. As an adult though a photographer myself for others, I have to pass the camera to my husband to make sure I am "present" in my children's documentation of their lives. I think it is wonderful that her children have this gift of their mother. More mothers need to document themselves, whether they like what they see, or not.
i always enjoy your family photos....so varied, candid, real. i often think, how great that they take so many pictures. steph is beautiful inside and out and it is our continued prayer that she will be fully recovered soon.
Thanks again for sharing your life with us. She is so beautiful, inside and out!!!
Somewhere in the article I cried and then embraced my freckles. Thanks Nie. And thanks Courtney for sharing... everyday.
I think we need a post with some of Stephanie's bad qualities! :) Seriously, we all love that she seems so perfect and my heart aches each time I read...but isn't there something she is not good at? And someday it would be fun to know what Mr. N. does wrong as well...please tell me he leaves his dirty socks on the floor or something!
Thank you for always sharing your heart with us.
She is definitely beautiful - but the inner beauty will always shine through. I pray for an easy transition for her because I would imagine it will be a very emotional rollercoaster.
I don't remember how I found Stephanie's blog, but I did and I am glad to have found hers and yours. I pray for your family and their healing.
Her pictures are so beautiful and I am glad she took them & I am proud that my daughter does the same.
I love this post! Perhaps for more selfish reasons. I too have been a 'self-portrait artist' and have always felt a little embarrassed and narcissistic about it. But when you put it in this lovely, flattering, 'natural' light it makes me proud:)
Before she knew she would need those photos...God knew. Wonderful how He has a bigger plan. Thanks for continuing to keep us informed. i check on her daily via your blog. I also pray for her daily and for YOU. God bless!
Stephanie's right. If I had those voluptuous lips, I would be taking more photos of myself too!
I too love the fact that Stephanie was not afraid to take more pictures of herself. Her face is of course beautiful, but I think what makes her so gorgeous in my eyes is that the beauty of her soul shines through. You can't ask for a more perfect beauty than that.
Loves and prayers to you and yours.
I think it is awesome that Steph was really into self-portraits! I think it is fun to see how different one can look at different times and different angles. I have always loved taking self-portraits as well. My friends think I just love looking at myself, but it is not that. I love the art aspect of it.
I continue to pray for the patients and the whole family!
She is so beautiful, and she always will be, I'm thinking everyday of her and her husband to recover and be able to enjoy their (your) family again.
Jesica from Argentina
I am so happy that I read this. And even more happy that you vocalized what I have thought for many years. What is SO WRONG about liking the way we look? I used to do the same thing, still do in my adulthood! As a young girl I'd doll myself up, and take photos of myself and when my mother would develop a roll of film and would find that I had had taken shots of myself, she would become a little agitated and made it known that that was such a vain thing to do. For many years it really hurt me. But I've learned what not to do with my daughters (some day) and that there is nothing wrong with loving that you are a woman and that it's ok to like what you see in the mirror each day. You're right. I am grateful that God blessed me with unique gifts, physical or not. Thanks for this. It made me feel a lot better after so many years of guilt. :)
no matter what...steph will always be beautiful to me. xox
pretty is skin-deep---beauty is forever.
I have been reading your blog since I heard of the plane crash, as it was local news here in Phoenix. I am encouraged and awed by your entire family and hold you all in my thoughts and prayers. I haven't commented yet, but I love this post. From the start, I noticed all the BEAUTIFUL pictures of Stephanie and wondered, "who takes these?" Moms are usually the ones behind the camera and hardly ever get in a shot! I love that she takes these pictures of herself and that she loves the way she looks. She is beautiful, as is her whole family. I am inspired to start taking more pictures of myself. I don't want my kids or grandkids to wonder what I looked like in my 20s and 30s. And Courtney, you're right...if my daughter grows up with a healthy dose of self-esteem, what a great gift that will be. My best to you and yours.
Most sincerely,
Jessica Crozier
Cave Creek, AZ
She has a simply classic beauty. Very much reminiscent of Jackie O.
I will add your family to my prayer list. I am uncertain of how I stumbled across your blog, but so thankful that I did.
Many, many blessings,
Michelle
This post really touched me deeply--as so many others have. I think it's partly because you have again so eloquently about what is missing--and how you, your family and her children long for Nie and Christian. But mostly I think it's the wondering about what is to come --which, I admit I have done also. Stephanie is gorgeous and those self portraits are another piece of her delightful personality! But like so many others said it is what is INSIDE that draws people to her. It is the values she holds, the faith she has, the absolute love she has for family and friends, her gratitude and appreciation of the little things. And yes, she may look quite different for awhile--but she could NEVER be ugly because of who she is and what she stands for. It may take her spirit some time to adjust and heal--after all, she has lived through so much with this accident, but she WILL pull through and still be your Nie, Courtney! So many of us are scarred by life in less visible ways and for some of those people they allow the scars to turn them towards things that add to the harm rather than reach for the healing. Nie will not do that. As another person wrote, there is sooo much that can be done for folks who've suffered burns or facial trauma. She may look different--at least initially--and maybe for a while to come. But as you all have shown us, it's what's INSIDE that counts and her children and family will love her and know her no matter what. ANd you know what else? So will we...a bunch of strangers who live and love more fully because of you, Nie and your family. Love and prayers to you and yours, Lori
That is a great message - to love the way you look without shame. In our society that is tough to do so good for those who acheive it!
Funny that in a way it's a blessing - as those many photos will be priceless in the way of reconstruction.
Your writing made me think too - how important it is to have documentation. My sister was shy of the camera. Nearly every photo of her featured her outstretched palm in front of her face. When she was killed at age 23 - the last decent photos we had of her were her senior portraits.
I hate that we don't have more pictures of her.
Her son has a photo album featuring only the few photos she allowed taken with him. That is a blessing.
Anyway, as a result I'm always irritated when someone declares they won't be in photo! What if it's the last picture we have of you?!
I don't "know" Nie but I do miss her. Kinda funny to miss someone you don't know.
I've been thinking similiar thoughts lately about your sister... How wonderful to have so many up-close portraits of her beautiful freckles, red lipstick (on plump lips), and simply gorgeous skin. I'm not sure of the extent of her injuries, but either way- I know she will always be stunning. It's the light inside her.
Cheers.
C Jane, I hope it won't be too long before you can take comfort in each other's company again. I ache for you.
I can only hope that one day if God grants me the blessing of becoming a mother that I will be half as good as you and Stephanie. Thank you for continuing to share your story with all of us strangers. Blessings and love,
a gal in NYC
She is beautiful! I honestly can not see this accident taking the glow off her face. That is permanent. :)
You are beautiful as well! Really...you are! Not only on the outside, but the beauty that is on the inside, is beyond words as you care for your sister and her children. You are an awesome example! Thank you...I need to take notes.
I have thought the same thing so many times, and dicussed it with Mr. Curry, my husband. How will this be for her? Aside from the children, Mr. Nielson, all of what she loves, what about just her...and then I realize, it's NOT aside from Mr. Nielson, the children...because they will help her to see herself in their eyes. And with technology who knows what it will be like for her...I've seen some amazing photos of burn survivors from 9-11. XO
I only have met Stephanie once but as beautiful as her self portraits are, they don't catch her whole beauty. Talking to her, being in her presence, listening to her she is more beautiful in person than any photo can capture.
We'll keep praying cause the world would be a much uglier place with out stephanie in it.
It's a blessing for these pictures to be found. Maybe everybody ought to do this once in a while - I know that I, for one, try to stay behind the lense as much as possible! :-) Love the post.
Lynne O.
Illinois
Stephanie was such a cute little girl- I remember her rolling her eyes at us when we were acting crazy- she and Lucy were the cutest little ones- I am glad she loves herself- that is what makes her such a great mom and wife. Loving myself is something I need to work on- thanks for the post.
I've never thought of it that way- but you are right...
I have also wondered about how she will do with burned skin. I pray that she will still see how absolutely beautiful she is.
*hugs* to you, I am sure you *do* miss your sister terribly. I am sure she misses you too and can't wait to hug you herself.
I have to admit that the numerous self-portraits of Nie really began to turn me off. I have often wondered where we cross the line from humbly loving ourselves (in and out) to being proud and vain. Thank you for giving me a different perspective, I am sure that the many pictures have become priceless to your family.
she is one pretty lil' lady :)
I have always loved your sisters blog, but never have posted a comment before, because I am not really sure how I could say what she has given me in so few words.
Even as I sit here snacking on a recipe I learnt from her cuisine blog, I realise how grateful I am for your sister.
I am glad she will have such a wealth of love to support her in the times to come. May Heavenly Father continue to open the windows of Heaven to your family!
Katie
I think its the cheeks.. didn't she say in a post somewhere about her cheeks? scandanivian?? something like that... she is gorgeous.
I love this post, you are such a talented writer, you speak to my heart... We have 5 girls in our family, and I must say we all enjoy taking a self-portrait a lttle to often.
Stephanie is truely Beautiful, inside and out! Thank you for sharing...
To the writer who made the negative comment regarding "private pictures": The Clark family has been incredibly supportive of their daughter and sister, Stephanie, and her family. They are a very close knit family who love each other very much. They have been careful to share that which they have because so many of us in the blogging community have followed the story and have prayed and banded together to help support this family. If you don't want to be a part of it, that's fine, but there is no need to be negative. This family has done nothing (NOTHING!) to warrant such anger. If anything, they have inspired so many of us to be more kind, more compassionate, more loving and more willing to serve others.
Kathi, who is grateful for families like this one who share a positive message of hope, love and faith.
kljohnson7868 @ gmail.com
PS. It is cowardly to post something negative under the guise of anonymity. Having said that, I wish you well.
Courtney,
My sister became paralyzed from the shoulders down after a car accident. She was 25 years old. Like your sister she was full of life and with a body many were in awe of. As soon as we knew she would survive the accident I got busy contacting associations, groups, individuals who had a similar experience and who were also a quadriplegic. It was very helpful for family members to meet a few of them even before she was out of the hospital. We were able to see that they lived very full, happy lives. I remember one man in his mid-20s taking me for a ride in his van -- I was so thankful to him for allowing me to see that individuals who are quadriplegics could drive their own cars, could go to work each day at real jobs....that my cousin could still have a full life. I knew this intellectually but, seeing it first hand at that point in my sister's recovery really helped me understand my sisters future. Those of us who had this experience were, I believe, better able to convey that sense of hope for a full life to my sister. As she awoke from her medically induced coma and realized the extent of her injuries we felt less afraid of the future.
All the best to you and your family.
Courtney, We had a Primary activity in FL today with a theme familiar to your family. I thought you might like to know. You can check out my post on the activity at http://shipleystales.blogspot.com
Kathi, thank you!
I have to quote my sister, "Betsy's girl"
'I tend to think that caterpillars are quite beautiful, but it is a miracle that transforms them to a butterfly... she will be more beautiful when she sheds the crystalis , I am sure.'
Funny, every time I read a post where you mention the name of the burn center where she is recovering, I think it says Mariposa which means butterfly in Spanish. Shows you how strong a sister-connection is!
It is hard to see yourself change. I have muscular dystrophy and as the years go by it manifests itself to remind me to live today for today like tomorrow with no regret. I would think it is important to remind yourself of the person and not so much the physical aspect. We are not all meant to be beautiful or strong. It does not affect our intentions or our love. Those who love us will not see it and will remember the person behind the physical. Fear is an enemy and has no place in our hearts. Love will bring peace and understanding. I have felt nothing as healing as this.
my friends always teased me about taking "too many pictures".
i lost my first husband to cancer when my girls were all under the age of three....all they have are those pictures & hopefully the memories that are tucked in their hearts.
i am so glad she was a little self portrait artist. &so profound of you that they will play a part in her healing, for sure!
she is beautiful woman & cutie pie wrapped together
still praying...
xo
courtney, you are so wise and sad and i am sorry that you have such a terrible burden. i think it is true that stephanie will mourn her old life -- as you mourn her now -- i felt this post was very brave and i thank you for putting it all out there. here in new york city, we are proud promoters of the 'talking cure,' (therapy). i hope you have someone to talk to and also i hope you will think about doing something really great for yourself -- like a writing workshop. you are very talented and insightful. mother of 2 and fan of your blog
She is beyond beautiful. Everything about her is stunning. Thank you for sharing this.
love.
jules xo
YOU are beautiful! I am amazed on a daily basis at your strength, courage and faith.
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
-- by Margery Williams, from The Velveteen Rabbit
i am glad to hear a different perspective on taking self portraits. i also believed people would think i was vain, but now i will remember your message. stephanie is beautiful, inside and out but the more i am learning about her i am in awe of her ability to love, be loved, her kindness, her willing to share her faith, etc. i could go on and on:)she is lucky to have such a blessed family. thank you so much for the updates, they are so very appreciated!
I just have to say... This post is right up my alley. I have only met one other person who admits to taking many, many self portraits. For awhile I thought I was being vain in my many random self photos... And actually, I want to see the faces I make, from someone else's view. GO STEPH! I will be sure to continue my personal saga of marching to the beat of my own drum. ThANK you for the amazing inspiration!!
Since I learned of your sister's accident, I have followed your blog and Stephanie's quite closely. I have been inspired, as many have, to make needed changes in my life to be a better wife, mother, sister, and friend.
I have also felt encouraged to take more self-portraits as Stephanie does, but I've found myself getting a shock out of the resultant photos. It's funny--I guess I almost expect to see images similar to the ones she is able to capture (even though my hair is long and blonde, my eyes blue, and my lips are not nearly as full). Perhaps, in time, I can develop a greater sense of confidence that will help me view myself the same way Nie views herself. I think this post has helped me move in that direction. Bless you!
I miss her too.
But I am glad you have all the self portraits to keep you company...not to mention Claire, Jane, Ollie and Gigs....and The Chief.
Hope you all are doing well.
Continuing to pray daily for Nie and Mr. Nielsen too. Much love!
The prayers continue from here that she'll be back with the same spunk, confidence and passion that you remember and celebrate so well herein.
She has beautiful eyes. So many adorable photos, but what she may not have even realized in taking these is that her eyes seem to capture her essence in each and every portrait she took. And in that one similarity you can know that you will ALWAYS see the beauty of this photograph and that... in her eyes.
Thank you for this blog. Thinking of you and your family and wishing you all well.
Daily I read NieNie's blog and I just feel so connected to her. This self-portrait part of her is much a part of me, too. It really makes me thankful for taking them, to save them for posterity's sake. Anyway.. I just love your family through these blogs. I have daydreams of being a part of it all. :)
Continued Prayers.
I immediately thought of my own family's situation when I read this post. I have an aunt who is about 8 years older than me. She was the youngest of 3 and very much the favorite of her parents and the family. She was always jumping in pictures at the last minute, snuggling babies and kids b/c she knew she'd be photographed with them, and posed always for the camera. At the time, I kind of felt jealous and felt she was being selfish for always wanting to be in every picture...but it was just who she was.
My aunt passed away from cancer when she was only 32, leaving a husband and 3 year old daughter. Looking through the family photo albums and videos now, I am so grateful to see her in almost every shot. And what a blessing for her young daughter to be able to see so many candid and posed shots of her mom. God knew what He was doing when He put that desire in her heart!
I too beleive that these photo's of Steph will help her in the healing process, what a hard process that will be but I know without a shadow of a doubt that she will be strenghtend ever more. she is an amazing person as is your dear family.
Always in our Hearts and Prayers
Tifani
safford az
You blog is beautiful, and so is your sister of course! Thank you for sharing such personal, touching, and uplifting feelings with all of us. You remind me that there is much to be grateful for every day!
I have only just discovered you and your sister and I must say my heart is so deeply moved. My thoughts are with you and yours and I send the best of wishes.
she's so beautiful!
Hi,
I am a 40 y.o. mom from northwestern Iowa and I read a blurb in People magazine about your wonderful sister Nie Nie and promptly spent a weekend reading her entire blog as well as yours. I am amazed and inspired by your family, I think you are all beautiful inside and out. I am not of Mormon faith but I pray for the Clark and Nielsen families every night---prayers are universal, right? Blessings to you all. You are simply wonderful Courtney!!
Courntey, I blogged about this very thing about your sister a while back. Since my children are grown, and now I have a growing crop of grandkids, my attraction to Steph's blog was the inspiring beauty of the woman and her way of embracing life. A woman who embraces her beauty and not necessarily beauty defined by culture, but more from an intrinsic knowledge of that beauty in a divine sense. I always wished I could have her self confidence and unapologetic love for her gene & heavenly created self.
Thank you for sharing that quote. It is just what I needed to hear today.
The quote is not from this post, but from your post following your amazing day at the BYU game. :)
I pledge to take more self portraits, (and not delete them). And I KNEW it was Chup (rhymes with soup) because I watch X files and Will and Grace and I have known about Chupacabra from listening to Art Bell for years and years.
My own sweet sister used to take photos of herself all the time. After she had children, she took photos of all of them together. In a million years, we never thought she would die so young. Those photos are so very sweet and dear to our hearts. I wish there were only more.
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