Some readers stayed around hoping to hear more anyway. Some sent me emails wondering why I wasn't writing about my sister anymore. I wrote back explaining that I couldn't tell her story. It wasn't my story. And truthfully, after six months of pouring my heart out on this blog, I was a little tired of the heaviness of it all. I lost a lot of readers I know, but it felt like a great weight had been lifted.
And Steph was strong enough to take it on.
Tonight I read Jaimee Rose's part two article about Stephanie's story in the Arizona Republic. It brought back so many of those feelings--mostly heart breaking. I know for many people on this planet this story was inspiring, but some days (the days Jaimee writes about in this article--in particular) this journey was nothing but painfully difficult. On every level possible.
In light of that, I want to write this: it wouldn't have been a victory if not for visions of hope, a faith in God and a glorious perspective of eternity.
And man, I love my sister.
Read the article here.
Read more about our faith here.
123 Pieces of Opinion:
Dear Courtney,
I have read yours and Stephanie's blog for the last year and half. I have shed tears and held my breath watching and reading. Yours and Stephanie's story has reminded me, over and over, to accept and appreciate the little blessings in life. I deeply admire your family and all the strength and love you give each other. Keep up the lovely writing,
Love Mum of 3, Melbourne, Australia
May I be the first to say that, since learning of your amazing family, YOU have gained a reader with me! I love the simplicity of your lives~ it gives me something to strive for. Today has seemed especially complicated so imagine my surprise when I checked in to find a new article from YOU and something to read about Stephanie!
Maybe, my friend, you'll give me a little perspective before my head hits the pillow. Until tomorrow~
I admit I started following your blog, to read updates of Stephanie, but I hung around when the focus changed because I enjoy your words. When is your second little bundle of joy due?
That is some amazing writing.
You've done more with your blogging than tell the story of that crash - you've opened up a world to many people. God bless you and your family
cjane, i just really needed to tell you that i will always come back. i love reading nie's story, but now nie can tell it herself, and you gained me when her blog 'went down' for awhile, but i am firmly settled, i love your way with words, and i love you, cus i think your fab!
I'm glad you posted the link about your faith. I get so confused by what your faith actually is so I'm off to have a read now, I feel so ignorant when its so important to you all!
I stuck around after you stopped writing about Stephanie. It is nice to see the story from both sides though sometimes.
I cried my eyes out reading Jaimee's article. Some of it, although we knew it, was so heart wrenching
Your unwavering faith and perspective is exactly why I still read your blog.
I stayed, Courtney! Your writing entertains and inspires me daily, and my world is richer for knowing more about your faith.
I rang my sister today, knowing she would have read the articles in the Arizona Republic too. (We are Australian ... beauty of the internet.) I didn't even say hello.
"Can you BELIEVE what they all went through?"
It is a powerful, painful, terrible, beautiful story to read. I can't imagine what it is like for you all to live it.
Stephanie's beauty radiates from within.
Thank you, cjane. You are amazing.
Blogging can be quite incredible, can't it?
Dear Courtney,
When I frist met you that August day, I hung on every word you wrote. I cried like everyone else and rallied with the little points of progress Stephanie made. Then when you gave the story back to Stephanie, I missed the prose that captured her journey. I adjusted and now hang on every word of your life with the Cheif and Chup. You always inspire me ! Teehehehehe even with snippets of my life with Yoshi! I will always be your reader, and friend from cyber space. THANK YOU for all your writing....many hugs~Donna from Massachusetts
Dear CJane-
I still love reading. I'm just a terrible commenter. Two little boys have left me less witty.
SL
Courtney-I began reading your blog because I saw you all on the Today show. I stuck around because I love your writing and your family. I even went back and read every single post in your history. Through your writing, I have founds a part of me that I forgot existed. Thanks!
I love reading your blog ,plain and simple. Your writing and insight are simply marvelous
Hey Courtney
I stayed! Maybe you lost a few readers, but I think you probably kept more than you realise. Stephanie's story is probably what brought a lot of us here in the first place, but my goodness, your story is powerful in it's own way. How many people can go from 0 to 4 children and cope as you did? Now that was inspiring!
And now? A little self deprecation, a little humour, a lot of love... many reasons to keep reading your blog. Keep going. We are here!
Courtney -
I too began reading your blog to get updates on Stephanie - but I continue to read your blog daily - I always will - LOVE hearing about you, Chup and the Chief - you have a true gift of writing - I hope you never stop - God bless you and your family.
Carol =)
Dear Courtney- I have enjoyed reading both you and your sisters blog since last August when I linked to it from another persons blog. You are both inspiring and I love how similar you are yet so different. I love your deep thoughts and I totally get your jokes. I believe I would read every member of your families blog, and I even venture to your brother Matts blog to see how the hunting is going! I think when we write about what we care about and love it is always interesting to read! Thanks for your inspiration!
Lisa, OBX, NC
Keep writing Cjane, You inspire me to not take life so seriously, I truely believe you are a blessing to all of us.
Isn't it funny how you can have readers you've never met who feel like they know you? And love you?
My sister-in-law, who is going through a painful time in her life herself right now, first sent me Stephanie's blog as a zen moment one day. And through her, I found yours. I love Stephanie for her positive attitude, her beautiful smile & adorable kids. I love you for your humor, way of capturing words & feelings that I have so often felt. And I love love love that adorable Chief. I hope to have children some day with bright eyes just like that.
Hope this doesn't sound creepy but more on the admiring side. If you even read such odd comments from strangers across the country.
Thanks to you & Stephanie for trying so hard, being good moms, & defending your faith, simply & with love.
You guys are the highlight of my dreary work mornings. I mean it.
C - Some of us will keep coming back because we know and love you. Admittedly, I always read your sister's words and how she's doing, but this is a great place to be, too.
Besides, somebody's gotta like you...
I'm happy to see you do a post on this. Last night as I read Stephanie's story all I could think of was how hard it must have been for you and Lucy to watch your sister and her children that you had come to love endure so much hurt and pain. My heart went out to you when I read that you were told to stay away. I read both blogs and love them for different reasons. Your's can almost always give me a boost with a laugh or reminder of heavenly fathers tender mercies. I read Stephanie's more just to follow her progress.
Thank you for sharing your life with all the world to see. I think you have been a great missionary tool and often times find myself wishing I could be so brave to put my true self out there for everyone.
Merry Christmas!
Came for the story, stayed for the brilliant writing and thoughtful perspective. Odd, but now I feel like we are in a strange one-directional friendship - you give, I take.
Sorry about that.
Dear Courtney,
I came over here after Stephanie's accident to find out what was going on, but I stayed on because of how much love reading what you write. Plain and simple. I love reading Stephanie's blog still, but I love having "gotten to know" you out of this, too - you're like the frosting on an awesome cake.
You're Awesome Sauce.
Amanda (feelin' a little silly this AM!)
I kept coming back! You're a great writer, entertaining and heartfelt and an amazing sister.
Yes, I'm sure you did gain more readers than you know of. I am one of them. I love it when your blog pops up in my Google Reader radar. You are an amazing writer and are using the gift you were given before this mortal life. The fact that you know of that gift and are using it is something to celebrate.
The articles were well-written and quite interesting. At times, I thought, "This is none of my business." At times, I was brought back to the familiar feeling of being grateful for my family and being a mother. Overall, it was continued proof that your sister is incredible. What a waste it would be if she wasn't here after all. She will do great things in her life.
Your writing is comical, creative and smart. For someone like myself that likes to write, your musing are Bazooka for the brain. I am glad you haven't stopped.
I happened upon your blog when reading about Stephanie in the early days of their accident, but stuck around because I wanted to read your story. I continue to read both blogs, not to put all the pieces of Stephanie's story together, but to read two seperate stories. I am inspired by Stephanie and her strength, there is no doubt about it. At the same time though, your story speaks volumes to me. Selflessness is something I value so highly and the selflessness you showed while taking care of your sister's children during that time is something I admire tremendously. You threw your life as you knew it aside. You managed in the best way you knew how. You brought smiles to the children's faces when I am sure all you really wanted to do was curl up and cry. You got close to the children and then had to let them go, feelings aside. On top of it all, you shared your journey with us and you shared it honestly. You're thoroughly impressive, CJane! Thank you.
I'd have to search the archives, but you won me over completely with the post about Christmas presents "my book is made from trees" or something like that.
I stay because who couldn't love someone who is accused of "food pornagraphy", and the only way you'll lose me is if you lose the angel wing header. I don't care if you update it, but I remember what brought it on and I love you for it! Okay, I admit that at some point you'll want to possibly change it and your right to call my bluff...I really wouldn't leave over that (maybe)
I especially love when you sing, we need more videos of you singing Christmas songs!
Love you so much, even though you don't even know me. I pray for you all every day!
I too started reading the blog around the time of the accident, but I have continued to return because your perspective on life is very similar to mine.
I am definitely old enough to be your mom, but consider myself young-at-heart and definitely connected to the generation younger that myself through my kids and the activities I participate in. Right now I am considering a cjane-provo-type blog for my community. It is not nearly as hip or cool as Provo, but it is an old, small community with a lot to offer trying to recreate a new identity for itself after the industries it was originally built around are no longer viable. You have been an inspiration for that!
Oh, darling Courtney - although you do not know *me,* I feel so graced to know you and your family just a bit. I am a reader who came during the darkest hours last year, and who has checked anxiously *every* day since then for new posts. At first I looked for tiny bits of good news, and then for the latest shenanigans of the cousins and the Chief, and now for the latest whatever-strikes-your-fancy, so long as it is written from your heart and with your smart humor and edgy wit. I love your writing, I love your style, and I *love* how much you love your family. I can remember when suddenly the cousins were gone from your photos and posts, and I thought to myself "How can she bear it? What does the Chief think?" Courage and grace and true love run deep in your family... Yes, Stephanie is strong and good and full of love - just like her sister (and all her sisters, brothers, and parents). I'm staying, babe!
I read your blog months before the crash and then started reading Stephanie's after the crash. I love you both! Thank you for the inspiration and laughs and tears.
And I'm so happy when I see you at Costco or Target and we recognize one another and have a hug!
I love reading about you and Nie both! My sister and I read both blogs and talk about you guys like you are our dear friends! :) I have laughed and cried and just loved reading about your families. I barely made it through the article (I was reading it to my sister over the phone and had to stop). Thank you for sharing your beautiful family and amazing writing skills with the blogging world!
I know you aren't fishing for this, but I love reading you and Stephanie both.
I read the article in the AZ newspaper. It brought out more clearly how difficult this experience was for your entire family. More heartbreaking than any of you ever really let on.
Thanks for sharing the story while you did. And thanks for sharing your own story as you do. You are enlightening and funny and I appreciate your faith.
That article on Stephanie and her family was heart-wrenching! I'm so sorry she and you and your entire family had to go through all of that. I'm thankful that you've had the Gospel to pull you through the worst of it. I love reading both your blogs, but especially yours--because of your humor. And the Chief is just so cute. Thanks to both of you for sharing your life with us. :)
Court ~ I LOVE reading your blog. Your's is the first I click on to read every morning=)
Love all your family ~ and hope to one day meet y'all.
Reenie from Kansas.
I get the whole "that's her story to tell". I love reading your story. And I love reading hers.
I get it.
I for one am still around and love how you share your thoughts, beliefs and everyday ponderings! You are a blessing to your family and your sister.....keep writing!
When I read the second part of Stephanie's story last night, I wondered if I would have the courage to do all the things you and your sisters did for her. I'd like to think I would, hope I would maybe. Your courage and strength is a testament to your love for your family and what a gift that is. Thanks from all of us too for being such a good sister. Your story is inspiring too.
You are correct in saying that I came to your site to keep up on Stephanie and family. However, I love your blog and your writing. Now, post a photo of your tree. I want to see how it compares with last year's wonderful evergreen with The Chief in awe. Hmm, I imagine since he is "on foot" this year, the tree might easily be a target of his attention! Enjoy the boy and the season.
In all honesty, I started reading your blog after the today show episode right after the crash. I did find Stephanie's blog as well and read both your's and her's with the intensity of a "can't put down book". However, finding your blog was a God send. It has been such an inspiring way to reach out to others I know struggling through infertility and just down right everydaydome. You have such a sense of the English language and it's "playful phrases". Your stories, both of your life and your sister's are inspiring but for such different reasons. So often you just hear about the person themselves in the tragedies of their lives and never from their families, who live behind the scenes and cry, laugh, live and love through it all. Both are important, both are holy, both are ...well, real, and real life.
Personally, after reading the articles from the Az Rep, I can't wait for Page's book. Kudos to your parents for raising such faithful, loving, strong women! Life couldn't progress without the involvement of family and community. God Bless your every breath today and always!
CJane,
All admit that I did come across your blog via NIeNie's but I continue to stay a devoted reader b/c frankly you crack me up and I can relate to you. You will always have me as a reader as long as you keep blogging about your all important thoughts and keep up the cute pictures of the Chief, who is the same age as my Coop. Thanks for your words and your time.
Of course the journey was (and continues to be) painful. What was and is inspiring to me is your solid family and faith. That would have been inspiring to me even if Steph hadn't made it through.
It was also inspiring to see so many rally around to help her family. I am glad that I helped to contribute in a very small way to give them time to recover and help bring the people that love them together.
Finally, I find your musings thought provoking/amusing/ sometimes familiar, so you've got yourself a reader in me. I don't care if you never mention Steph's accident again.
I am glad you wrote about your Sister, but I am just as glad that now both of you can write your own blogs your own stories. You have an amazing family & an amazing Testimony. I am so touched when I read about the love you and your family have for each other and for our Savior. I saw you the other day at Costco and I almost walked up to to talk to you as if we were old Friends. But you get that all the time I am sure. Plus I would have felt wierd talking to someone I do not know. Thanks for keeping up your blog.
CJane--- I first started reading you b/c of your sister's accident. I kept on after reading in your archives about your skirt. And now I am totally invested after you answered my email about what in the world was the fluffy white stuff in one of your pictures (paper flowers).
I want to give you major kudos---- in your blog, during the apparently really hard times, you would say, "today was a difficult day," or something like that.
After reading Jamie's story--- difficult doesn't even begin to describe it-- for EVERYONE involved.
You totally respected everyone's privacy. GOOD for you. you are a good egg.
Dearest C Jane,
I'm grateful for Stephanie because she brought me to you. You are my favorite writer of all time, regardless of what your subject for blogging is! I was sad when you took a month off this summer! Every morning, I check you out first thing, and I've grown to love you and your delicious writing!
With love, Kala
You are a really good sister. I wish I had one like you. Since I have only a brother, that would be most difficult.
I am still here.
Add one more to the mix that started reading your blog to keep up with Stephanie and Christian's progress but have stayed on as a
C Jane fan. I too am a daily blog stalker and I'm always excited when I see a new post from you. A great way to start my day. Thank you for sharing your life with us. BTW, I love the cooking videos... planning anymore of those?
We luv you all!
While Stephanies accident is what first made me aware of both of you -- I read both of your blogs whenever they are updated -- you are two very different people. Sisters, yes, and loving ones at that, but individuals. You each need to tell your own story.
PS wish you would come teach me how to have a "spicy" home :)
what i loved about the article is how brutally and painfully honest it was. it showed me the painful, terrible side of this accident - the side we don't really think about. it left me feeling even more inspired because it showed how stephanie and christian (and ALL of you) have overcome (and continue to overcome, i'm sure) the pain of the accident. it was really eye-opening and beautiful.
Dear Courtney,
I started reading your blog when the accident occurred for updates on your sister's condition - and quickly fell in love with your whole family. I have since been so inspired and uplifted and amused to read your musings... your blog is the one internet stop I make every day. I am glad you are true to who you are! I love it.
Courtney, I've continued to read your blog for your writing,your faith in life and the divine and even in life's absurdity. Your devotion to your sister and self-sacrifices were amazing, but I've always felt somehow connected, too, to your sense of humor. I look forward to coming back to cjane over and over again.
I read your blog and Stephanie's. I finished reading the second half of that story yesterday, and it made me cry (just like the first half). I forwarded the link on to my Mother (whom I also had watch the Oprah segment on tv). You are an amazing family, and I too am grateful for eternal families and the gospel. I enjoy reading both blogs, and you always put a smile to my face (especially with your candor!). Thanks for writing and letting us share a little of your world!
I read both of you still. The report by Jaimee has touched me deeply. I was inspired before, but now I am beyond that. I have not yet found the words for what reading your experience has meant to me. But know that I am humbled and appreciative of you sharing. Stephanie's story and yours.
A friend linked your "Publishing: Book or Baby" post on her blog, and it was a delicious introduction for me. The thoughts you so eloquently expressed were like the blooming flowers to my same species seeds. They resonated with what I was feeling deep down, even if I hadn't yet given them shape and voice. Your blog was a tonic.
So I came on board as a reader who knew nothing of Stephanie or of your relationship to her. Now knowing both only broadens my admiration (of you both!). Keep it up! You're amazing.
You have an amazing blog...thank you for sharing and being so inspiring!
I stuck around! You are too funny not to. :) I loved Jaimee's articles. Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing all your lives with so many strangers. Your entire family has shared such personal experiences and trials with us, when really, so many of the things were none of our business.
I wish all of you well in Stephanie's continued recovery, and the rest of you getting on with your lives. I can't wait to see that new little baby of yours!
i came to your blog after stephanie's crash, but i stayed because i enjoyed *you* so much. you are so singularly you (and stephanie is so singularly stephanie), and it's good to have two separate spaces for all of your brightness to shine. i look forward to reading your words every day (wait, you don't post every single day? ack!) and you constantly delight and inspire me, and make me laugh and smile.
i read that article last night, too, and thought for a long time about you and your family. you are all so amazing and lovely and it makes me so happy to know that there are people like you in the world.
C~I began reading you way back in 2007. From your blog, I found Nie's......I celebrated with you when you announced your pregnancy with the Chief, how we all began to call him the Chief and I'm still "one of the sisters who has hope".......It's been a great journey so thank you for taking us with you :)
Hi Courtney -
Yes, I started reading after Stephanie & Christian's accident. I stayed because you are a mother, daughter, sister and wife with so many stories that hit right at home. I am so excited for your family that you will be entering another phase in your lives when the next baby arrives. My kids are older and in 3 years my last will be off to college. I will live vicariously through you and your stories of babies and toddlers. Write on.....
Julie
I check EVERY day... for more singing videos, food porn, the latest "Pirates Booty Shenanigans". I never comment. But I always read... Amy
Dear Courtney,
you were right to give Stephanie her story back, it was time, and she needed to do it herself again. Besides which, you have your own wonderful tales to tell.
You both gained a reader in me and I started reading the blogs after I saw the NBC piece about the accident.
Your family has been wrenched through an incredible year, and now you can all look back and see it as, if anything, a testament to your faith, and love for each other. Thanks for you words. Kerry.
Hi Courtney,
Those articles really expose a rawness that you so eloquently cushioned during that horrific year for your whole family.
It is truly amazing what our spirits can endure in this mortal life.
Wow, wow and wow.
Jamie (Karli's friend :-)
Dear Courtney,
I think you are a talented writer, and I was touched by what you wrote while you sister did not have a voice to write. I am so glad that she can write again, and teach us so much. But you are a good writer, and you have lots and lots of good things to write about. I do enjoy reading your thoughts, and I can't imagine not reading what you have to say. Keep it up. I am with you.
I enjoy your blog because it is "your" blog.
Courtney,
Your blog is a beautiful piece of art whether you are writing about Stephanie, the Chief, neices and nephews and favorite pink skirts!
You are a brilliant writer and those who stopped reading after you stopped blogging about Stephanie's recovery are truely missing out!
I admire you and your entire family! You all have become inspirations in my life and I can see all the wonderful benefits around me because of ALL of you!
You gained a reader in me as well and also all of my admiration and respect for the way you and your family rallied around your sister and her family in a most desperate time of need. I often thought of how difficult it must have been on each and every person. And how her recovery is truly your whole families recovery.
Reading that amazing article it really put into perspective how dark and difficult things really were and it truly touched me in ways that I can't even explain.
Thank you for getting us all through that time with your wonderful writing and for taking us beyond those times with humor and wit and love.
i will always be one of your readers no matter what. i think you are such a fun and loving woman.
But in those postings you gained another reader, me.
Nice to meet you Courtney, my name is Michele and I enjoying reading your blog. I wish I was witful enough to write everyday and bold enough to make mine public.
You gained a reader here...and dare I say, I check your blog first now! How's that!
My heartstrings were tugged reading that story. The very real parts of that story...like when she asked you girls to leave her with her kids and not come around...and when her and Christian argued at night. It made the pain real. But there is a victorious and beautiful outcome for your whole family....the whole world and we are so glad you all shared it with us.
Merry Christmas!
I read the article. It took me all day. I would read passages that would remind me of my duties as a mother and so in reading I would stop to enjoy a precious moment with my two year old. To make cookies, to hear her call me mommy. To play on the floor with her. To let her touch the ornaments on the tree, although I've reminded her several times that they are to be looked at, not touched, I gave in... only two are broken, I can live with that for the moment of fun we had. Your family has helped me to find joy in my task of motherhood. To relish the fleeting moments of childhood. I read of your sisters longing for 10 children and wept for her and her body plauging her and keeping her from her dream of being a new mom once again. My body plauges me with that same curse of infertility, only in a different way. I read of her 10 chaired dining table and prayed for it to be filled. If not in this life, then in the next, where her body will be restored to its perfect state and she will be crowned in the eternal glory of the heavens and fill worlds with children. I stood in awe of the strength of a family in a time of crisis and felt the pain of you and Lucy in letting go of a maternal bond, and letting it ease back and turn it over to Stephanie and the Lord despite what your instincts must've been screaming at you. I send all my love and amazements. From a sister in NY.
man, that rose chick can write. and so can you...i'm glad it's about you again! i read stephanie, too. you are a wonderful sister...a wonderful aunt...a wonderful mother. bless you.
I admit, I started reading your blog for updates on Stephanie, but now... oh how I squeal inwardly with delight when you've posted. Even though I'm still a single girl here in Happy Valley and have a completely different life, I somehow feel like I can relate to all of your thoughts and pondering and musings as you live YOUR life.
Plus you're just so fun! So thank you!
I, for one, am delighted that I found YOU. I heard of both of you after the accident, and I spent many hours reading back through both of your archives from the very beginning. I cried a lot, and I also noted so often what a really wonderful writer you are. Your wit and turn of phrase are just spot-on. I'm kind of jealous, sometimes, actually. There's something in being able to say something more than "man, this really sucks" that not only tells the story, but shows what a hand God has in all of it. I can't really express what your blogs have done for my faith-- mostly I can just say "a lot" and will have to leave it at that. Keep on keepin' on...
Courtney,
I began reading your blog because of Stephanie but I continue reading it because of YOU. And I am enjoying every minute of it!
;) Sarah
I just read the article and shed tears.
I love your blog and your sisters.
love from utah
I am glad that you and your sister share your lives through blogging. You are both strong beautiful women who remind me to take life slower and appreciate the little things more.
Mom of 2 and one on the way! Kansas
You did the right thing.
And I stuck around.
Your spiciness inspires me too. :)
Courtney,
I got to read your blog through your sister's.
I guess I'm still hooked
I think because...man, I love my sister (all three of them) too
Dear Courtney,
I too, like so many others originally started reading to learn of Stephanie's recovery. I'm hooked now. I love your blog and all of your different perspectives. Thank you for writing about everything. You are great sister and a wonderful writer! Keep up the great work.
God bless you.
Jen
It is true, I found you through a friend when the accident happened. It is also true that I went to the start of your blog and moved forward, finding more than just Stephanie's sister. Finding someone I can relate with on more levels than one. And now, more than a year later, finding even more in common and grateful for finding you, Courtney.
I'm so glad I have stuck around "even though" you don't write about Stephanie anymore. I love, love, love your writing! I read Jaimee's stories over the past couple weeks and I am even more amazed with the kind of family you guys have and the courage Stephanie has had to step up and be what her family needs her to be. Thank you for the great example you all are!
so add me to the list of those who started reading to keep up with Stephanie (who I also didn't read pre-crash) but who has stuck around because of you! Keep up the good work.
I found you by reading what you wrote about her, the updates, and I have certainly stayed.
I printed the story out last night and took it with me to read while serving jury duty. I had no idea the scope of the difficulties you all went through. And are still going through. The pain and heartbreak that you all suffered left me breathless and wondering if I would ever have that much strength to recover from something like that. I still pray for all of you. And I left the article on my seat, hoping someone else could read it too.
Much love to your whole family.
Hey Courtney,
I came to your blog through NieNie, but I love to keep reading even when you don't write about your sis. Keep it up. Your family inspires me every day.
-Jennifer
Mom of twins in NJ
I love your last statement... "and man, I love my sister" there are so many days that I want to scream the same exact thing to the world!!!
I am so glad I found your blog. I only wish it didn't have to be because of so much pain and tragedy. Reading Jaimee Roses' words have given all us us a deeper understanding of the pain and true terror the last year has been for all of you. The DETAILS! I am not sure I needed to know, but now that I do, my prayers will ever be with Christian and Stephanie to help them through the hard days. I am thankful to have a deeper appreciation for daily life...like wiping little noses!
Your writing is both talented and entertaining, thought provoking and often blunt. I will always be a fan!
I'm so glad that you are allowing comments! I have to admit that I started reading your blog after your sister's accident, but I love your blog. I like the way that you write and truth be told, I would read your blog for no other reason than you call your husband Chupacabre.... seriously? That is so freakin' awesome!
Chup, Chup!
Thank you for writing about the journey. I will admit, it has inspired me to cherish everyday and wish with all of my heart that I had a sister like you. I read your blog for you, not for anyone else. thank you so much.
I started reading your blog(s) after seeing it mentioned in an old copy of Utah Valley Magazine or Utah Valley Business (I can't remember).
I appreciate your candidness, bluntness, and your appreciation of the toddler years.
I also read your Provo blog as I am from Utah Valley and spent time living in Provo while attending BYU.
Dear C Jane, you sister is inspiring and her posts are deeply moving, but you are the born writer - keep doing it!
Courtney - We still love you and all the the Clark siblings :) You remind us what family is about.
Dear Courtney,
I initially "clicked on" to your blog to read the updates on your sister, and to lift you all in prayer. The love your family have for each other is very evident and touching. After Stephanie was able to continue on with her blog...I kept reading yours as well, and continue to do so...you are one of my daily "clicks". Thank you for your insight, wit, humor, and day to day life.
I am happy to read and know a "little bit" about you and your piece of the world!
Dawn
Delaware
Courtney, I had only read you briefly before the accident, but I have stayed forever with both of you. I am in awe of your family and what you have lived through and continue to live through, together. a family together. Your faith in God foerever leaves me in awe, and the wish and hope that I can find a faith like yours--one you never give up on.
Blessings, Mari
I got to Stephanie's blog from design mom, and to your blog from Stephanie's, and now you're both in my favorites. I've read both of your archives and love both blogs for different reasons. Your writing is beautiful.
Courtney, I read your blog because I like your writing style. And I find YOUR life interesting (yes I do also read your sister's life).
I started reading your blog after your sister's accident but only because I had never heard of either of you before it.
And I read both blogs from the start (I had a free day), and I read her blog now because of her and your blog now because of you.
Cos you rock.
Oh Clarky...I was a devoted reader before, during, after and always. You are brilliant when you write - in every way. And it wasn't just her story, it was yours as well. My heart sunk as I read the articles and caught a tiny glimpse of what your life was like. In retrospect, I wish I would have done more.
You, my dear, are the wind beneath my wings:)
The article was very powerful. The honesty in it will be such a help to so many; how difficult it was for Stephanie to mother again, that Christian did not save her.
Fairy tales are one thing, it's living our imperfect lives and loving each other anyway that is the miracle.
I do hope that Stephanie can have more children. As a woman who struggled with infertility and was truly blessed to have my one child, I can assure her that whether or not those other chairs fill up, the children she already has are enough, more than enough. But I know she already knows that.
I started reading your blog because of Stephanie, but I'm still reading everyday because of you, and your way with words and your too cute little family.
You and Stephanie both have such beautiful spirits! I came because of Stephanie and now I visit both blogs daily! I enjoy your witty writing and the view or Provo life. I drove through Provo this weekend and I was looking around wondering, where do they live?. Man, I would love to meet you both and give you each a hug and just say thank you for inspiring and keeping me laughing! Hugs!
Oh, and I loved Jamie's aritcle. Cried my eye's out through all 10 chapters. What an intimiate and moving story. Stephanie will do amazing things, because she is an amazing person and I believe Heavenly Father has big plans for her!
I personally just love your blog. I love your writing, your humor, your take on life, your love for your family. I love Stephanie's too, but for different reasons.
True.. you may have gained more readers when you picked up Stephanie's recovery...but I think a whole lot of people stayed around, to read your beautiful writing, to learn more about Stephanie's sister, and through it all your readers have learned about a family who is in it through the thick and thin, and I think it makes everyone want to really live their lives, do something worth while, be a good mom, a creative mom, be a good person... never give up. Stephanie is amazing, and she sure has some good roots that gave her the courage. You guys are the best, and I will keep reading.. because this blog is a good place for the soul. Thanks
Cjane,
I started reading your sisters blog when I heard about the accident, then I started reading yours too and I love both. I feel like I can relate to both of you coming from a big Utah family. I love your writing, keep it up!
I love youre blog cause youre spicy:) You inspire me to be creative, more adventurous with my children, to take giant breaths...and smile. Thank you for inspiring me to be a better mom and wife and a better me.
The Power of a Family. We should all be so very blessed.
I love both yours and your sisters blog. You are both inspirational to me and help get me through some rough days...so thank you for continuing YOUR blog! You are an inspiration!
I came upon Nie Nie's blog right before the crash. I have followed your blog ever since you started updating us on your sisters status. You've definitely gained a reader here!
Its so strange that to you I am a stranger but to me you are my breakfast buddy. We eat leftovers off our childrens plates, wipe jam covered faces and stare in awe of our children every morning...together. Thank you for allowing me into your world to laugh with you and to cry with you. Your words are uplifting on some days and silly enough to make me start my day with a smile. You are appreciated and admired for who you are. My daughter will ask me why I am smiling and I always tell her, " My friend Courtney made me smile today".
I'm still reading CJane. Keep up the fabulous work and Merry Christmas!!
I still read your blog and love it!
I must admit that I started reading your blog after I found out about Stephanie's terrible accident. But I have become addicted to your words! I love reading your blog! Your blog brightens my day! I read the article written about Stephanie and the accident. It was very well written and made me cry many times. I'm so glad she lived and is healing. Especially so that her beautiful children will have their mother there with them as they grow! You all have such a wonderful, blessed family. I can just feel the love in your words!
I'm a first time commenter, long time lurker. I just wanted to let you know that while I admire you for telling your sister's story when she couldn't (and in such a beautiful and loving way, I might add), I also appreciate your story. And so what if it's about you...it is your blog :). Keep it coming. I especially love your humor.
I would like to say something here. You were not writing about her story, you were writing about yours. After all, you were the one who went from one child to four overnight! You were the one left to explain what was going on to the one's that she loved the most. Not to mention, she is your sister. I am sure that you had a lot of emotions about what happened too. The crash did not just happen to her, it happened to your whole family. I for one, would like to here it from your perspective. I love to read what Stephanie writes, but I fell in love with your blog while reading about your selfless acts of kindness, the days that you stepped up to the plate and did what was required. That is your story, and it is worth telling.
One more thing . . . I don't think that writing about YOUR experience with Stephanie should be off limits on this blog. With any trial that you go through, it changes you and makes you a new person entirely. To not talk about it is to rob yourself of the pieces of yourself that you gained from that experience.
I read your blog for YOU!! I love your writing style and I love reading all the kooky little things you write about. You made me realise blogs didn't have to be stuffy and uppity ("oh, my life is super perfect" etc). Some days I want to be you, not in a stalker way, but cos you can write so well and I'm all the way across the world in Australia and still find your every day things interesting. I don't think anyone would ever say that about my life! LOL! Keep on blogging, I love it!
I was sent to Stephanie's blog by a trusted friend when I became a new mom. And then tragedy struck your family. I followed along with you as you gently assisted with her blog and her family.
I fell in love with your blog. I have become a devoted follower to CJane. I still read Stephanie's blog, but I am addicted to yours. I've even got my sister and mom reading your blog whent hey can. Friends too. I am genuinely happy that you continue to write for yourself and that you keep us up to date on your family.
I read the article on Stephanie, I'd heard it referenced on the Today Show, but never heard where to find it.
It took me all day to get through it (At work) and I about cried the entire time.
Your family is a miracle. Their strength is in their endurance and hope. May you be blessed with joy, love and laughter this holiday season.
i can't imagine what you guys all went through but that is what family is truly about, being there when it is really hard.
i love your blog.
I was one of the readers who started reading your blog because of your sister, but I stayed because of YOU! Love your blog, and I am so glad that I happened into your world.
I read that story on nienie twice and it never left me all day,I had no idea the enormity of all that she suffered till I read it, and it made the vitality and life force she exudes now even more astonishing and moving.
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