Friday, February 26, 2010

Just A Note From My Brain About Yesterday



After I had written yesterday's post,
Late Afternoon Mormonism I asked Chup to read over it before I published. Where I lack in seeing the big picture, Chup is very good at scoping the landscape. I asked him to make sure I had in NO WAY moralized the story. I wanted it to read like a simple narrative, not any social commentary or proselytism.

It passed Chup's test, which is next to impossible. The man has a critical eye and can see subtle messages in hidden passages, he has no trouble calling the dirt. So when I came back clean, I was pretty proud of myself. Even made the complicated attempt to pat myself on my own back.

Of course I knew that the aftermath of comments weren't going to be pretty. Blogging about religion is never a safe bet. I was accused of all sorts of sin: self-righteousness, small mindedness, bigotry to name a few. Fine. Fine. Those comments didn't bother me much. Mostly because my motive was pure. That is all I can ask of myself.

Next to changing my blog's name to DON'T TAKE THIS ONE TOO SERIOUSLY I can't help those who do. Or those who call me fat in my third trimester. I mean, seriously?

ANYWAY, the reason I am writing this is for those people who asked in sincerity for Mormon bloggers to perhaps be more upfront about the doctrine of their religion. I want to respond to those good people: First of all, I would love to, thanks for asking.

Second of all, after you read the train wreck of progressive angry anon comments yesterday I hope you'll have a little insight on why it isn't so easy. We love our religion just like anyone else, and to see it slaughtered is something the human soul doesn't take easy. It is uncomfortable and like my brother in law MD said "make us grouchy" (which is a whole ethical nightmare because at the core of our religion we are commanded to seek happiness).

If there was a way to guarentee that being more upfront would garner more compassionate responses, we might be in business. Big, fat, (third-trimester) TALL order, right?

Now I won't let it deter me, but I can easily why it would make my fellow Brothers and Sisters weary. So please give them the benefit of the doubt in this blogosphere. It is all I ask.

There are probably seven trillion things I will have wished I said in this epilogue. I will discover them all slowly as soon as I publish print. And I am also sure to be opening myself up to more useless controversy from this post as well. But I can't forget the wisdom of my Chup who says next to manipulative posts, arguing over the internet is the most disdainful downfall of today's blogger. (As opposed to yesterdays blogger.)

And because I can never miss the opportunity to call myself a martyr, I let The Chief scribble the entire toddler alphabet over my legs and feet with his always favorite green highlighter just to write this post. This comes post-shower and you know how hard it is to take one of those in the typical mothering morning.

I care people. I CARE.







dear c jane today:
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On c jane's Guide to Provo:
Will the Great
Zego the Scar!



My Community:
I am following this thread for wannabe moms.

335 Pieces of Opinion:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 335   Newer›   Newest»
The Boob Nazi said...

I love attacking comments. People are so sweet.

Jane said...

I look forward to you being upfront about LDS doctrine. I do.

Also EVERYONE gets grouchy when their religion is attacked, naturally. But that's no reason to shy away from open dialogue. Even heated open dialogue. I was educated by the Jesuits and their motto is, "Question everything."

Looking forward to hearing more. Especially about the concerns posted yesterday. I was fascinated!

jess said...

I loved yesterday's post. I thought it was a sweet story well told. It struck me as strange that people got so carried away about it, and at a certain point they were just responding to each other. <3

Brian and Tonya said...

CJane- Let me just say, I adore you. And thank you for giving me the courage to share my beliefs and feelings more openly.

stephanie marie said...

As an avid reader, but never a commenter, I am very disappointed to see the hateful comments on the aforementioned post. I am a secular humanist (read: atheist) for my own reasons, and I expect others to respect that. In the same vein, I respect others' beliefs, as long as they are not actively hurting someone. Who cares what one calls their God, as long as we all try to live lives of charity, respect, and love? All I saw in the previous post was a story of love and support, within and outside of c jane's community. You don't have to agree with someone's prescribed beliefs in order to treat them with the respect and dignity that ALL humans deserve. Come on, people. Remember that there are real people, with real feelings, families, faces, and experiences, behind these blog posts.

etak said...

Can bishops be female?

Natalie | The Bobby Pin said...

I can't believe people attacked you for telling a simple story about life. About retrospection. It made me smile about the kindness that is Utah.

Goodness, I blogged about garments this week... I can't imagine what the haters would say if you referenced that!

the Internet needs to take a giant chill pill.

sarahandmatt said...

I read yesterday's post and all I thought was, "I guess that kind of thing could be true of most Christian religions". I am LDS, but I've seen plenty of Christian types trying to help a non-member of their church in a time of need. Why is it offensive for you to mention it?

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
topher clark said...

Did you guys catch last night's American Idol results? Yowza! Some of my favorites got sent home. :( I DO NOT LIKE THE GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE ZAC EFRON

signed, Anonymous

Laurel said...

How is it there is only one comment today? Well, let me say this since I'm number two: I thought about you a lot yesterday, and what I thought was that I appreciate your bravery. When you put stuff out there that is core of who you are, that really means something to you and people crap all over it, it feels awful. Really awful. And so I was hoping that you weren't feeling really awful. I hoped you had an enourmously thick skin, but no one is immune to hurt. That I know. And so I'm sorry for you.

I, for one, am glad that you are a Mormon woman who isn't afraid to speak her truth. That is refreshing and admirable. Too many of us live quietly, afraid. And after yesterday? Who can blame them?? Yikes!

Lastly, whoever called you fat (huh???) when you are bursting with a baby, is calling down karma--big time karma--on herself (or himself, but a man would know he'd be skewered for such a comment!) And why does it matter to them anyway? I'm shaking my head in complete confusion. Me no get it!

Carry on, CJane, carry on!

Laurel said...

Well, that was fast! Now I'm number 11?? How did that happen?

Rochelleht said...

Your brother kills me!

The Hopkins Home said...

Personally, I loved the dialogue that came out of yesterdays post. I know nothing of mormonism besides what I've been exposed to through blogs so I found it all fasinating. Of course religion will, as it always has, cause a great outpouring of passionate responses both positive and negative. If you can take the heat then I think these posts are fantastic. Also, I found that as the comment section grew and grew it became more about personal belief systems of religious groups rather than just attacking you as a person. I read quite a few blogs and you are just about the ONLY one that addresses LDS and leaves the comments on...I think you have spice ; ) Thanks for an educational and interesting read yesterday!

Julie Ann said...

Well that's just silly that people would comment such RUDE things. I am not a mormon and I thought it was a wonderful post!

Don't let it discourage you. Keep doing what you're doing.

Steph said...

Courtney -

I've been reading your blog for a few years now - like 4 maybe. And I have nothing but good things to say about everything you write. I'm sorry that people are so hateful and mean. I am giving you a virtual hug right now. :) People need a life when all they can do is post negative things on a blog post. Really? REALLY? Hang in there. I think you are great.

Linds Forrest said...

You know that makes me so mad that people are attacking you over your thoughts and words. I wish people would be more respectful of others, especially Mormons. It seems so much more harsh and critical in Utah because it is majority Mormon, but you don't hear all the other religions being slammed, or more important their members. A lesson I have learned being away from Utah. So I want to say this... THANK YOU for writing that post. It was beautiful. It really caught the humanity and humility that humans have for one another, especially in times of need. LOVE love your blog!!

Little Mrs. P said...

I'm not mormon, methodist since birth, but I find learning about other religions facinating and especially hearing them first-hand. Thank you for telling your stories and involving your religion when you do. We could all stand to learn a little bit more about people and their religions.

Patti said...

I'm not easily shocked . . . but yesterday's comments were shocking. It reminded me of the comments that accompanied the Today Show snippet. Those bothered me for days.

I suspect people will always think one is suggesting they are better than the next if they dare to mention their religion. That's what projecting IS. It makes me grateful we truly believe in everyone's right to worship as they see fit. I, for one, will take anyone's prayers offered in my behalf.

Anyway, thanks for the post yesterday. I loved the sentiment behind it. Also, I like notes from your brain.

There is nobody like you.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it is your job to defend, explain, etc. your church. Although religion is a great part of who you are, that is not the purpose of your blog. If anyone wants to know more about the doctrine of what the LDS church believes reference them to mormon.org. There is even a link to "Ask a question." Attacking each other never gets us anywhere.
*NJ

Erin said...

I would love for you to go into more detail about LDS. I have always been conflicting in my religion. I know what I believe, just not sure where we fit in. When I actually asked some young Mormon missionaries for a book and a chat, they never returned. (I think my enthusiasm scared them a bit. They looked very young.)
I was lucky to find a home in a nice Luthern Church (We were already Luthern, but we just needed a good fit.)
I read most of yesterday's comments. And while some were outright rude, most were at least constructive. Your wonderful post made your readers think, and then discuss religion. Most people can't do that in their daily lives. Some of the better comments brought tears to my eyes. Congrats on another fabulous set of posts.

Jessica said...

I appreciate your willingness to write about your experiences and how you feel despite the negative and hurtful comments made. Keep on chuggin' along, girl. There are those of us out here who LOVE what you write and admire you for writing about what you believe despite the potential comments that may come your way!

Heather said...

I love everything about your post yesterday. I understood it as a fellow Mormon and it would have passed my test, just as it passed Chup's, but who can ever know what will be a trigger...particularly when it comes to this Mormon topic. I have never, ever understood the public affection for coming after this group of people, this faith. There are flaws all over the place, but where in any church's doctrine is it okay to cast stones?

I do appreciate your willingness to discuss Mormon life in this format, in an open, loving way. We don't have to edit for other members of our faith, but we sure do have to edit how we feel and what we believe when it comes to those outside of it because they simply can't let it go already. When the audience can begin to be more open and loving with their responses, we might be able to have intelligent conversation about it. Until then, it is just spiteful and mean. It does "make us grouchy". I had to learn a long time ago not to engage in the nonsense of proving ourselves to people who plainly don't really want to know...they just want to prove to us why we are wrong, as far as they are concerned.

My entire Mormon life has been blessed with good people with big hearts who ask what can be done to help each other. I love this gospel, and its quirky culture. I only hope that others can either appreciate that for what it is, or leave it alone.

Why do people care so much about this Mormon thing anyway? (I mean, I think I know why...but do they really know?)

Thanks for your courage and candor!

Screwed Up Texan said...

I hate blogging or even talking about religion. I only got one nasty comment when I did a couple days ago and it wasnt even about Mormons, but rather about Texans.

Kiss my rear dear I wanted to say to him.

But I'm mean like that.

Hence why I try to stay away from topics of religion.

Salmon Tolman Family said...

to court-ney, aka c jane, aka my favorite blogger: well said, my friend, well said.

Laura said...

I loved yesterday's post...so true. I loved todays post too,and good luck with the highlighter, thanks for making the sacrifice!

Jillian P. Phippen said...

I caught Topher's comments, but not AI :o) I read every day, and I loved what you wrote about your mom (and her pearls--my mom would have been wearing Silkies and Chico's jewelry and lives in Orem, btw). I don't think I'd have thought to call the bishop first, but I'd have *for sure* called the RS president first. However, my brother isn't the bishop, either.

Good luck removing the green marker. Such sacrifice is noted.

Jess said...

I loved yesterday's story as well. It was perfect, in every respect. I'm also really glad you're open to talking more about your religion. I am so interested in it, and in what role it plays in your life. One of the things I love about your blog is that you seem so very much like me in some respects, and yet you have this religion that seems so central to who you are. So I'm really curious about what living in a faith must be like, such that someone *like me* could have it. I wasn't raised in a religion, so I have no idea!

One of the hardest things for me is wanting to know what religions are like, but not wanting to have someone make their sharing contingent on conversion. I know I can read things on the internet, but there's a big difference between knowing about faith, and knowing "what it's like" to live in it. I hope that makes sense... anyway, the point is, I want to say thank you for being so honest and open with your experiences. For the first time in my life, faith seems like a real possibility.

Kelly said...

Cjane, you are amazing. You take adversity and criticism with grace and love, and that's what it's all about. We may not all see eye to eye on religious matters, but we can agree to disagree and still have fun and love each other! Love you, love your blog, and God Bless you!!

Kelly

Emmie {orange + barrel} said...

I just think calling someone fat in third trimester is insulting to all women and the way we treat each other.

On the other hand, I read yesterdays post I saw the possibility for the comments to flow in. I didn't check them but from your post I am assuming that happened. I think people instantly get on the offensive because it is more about your religion v. their religion and it really doesn't matter what you write. I mean you weren't even tackling a big topic, wasn't about bringing food over to someone's house???

I am not LDS and I am not a huge fan of all of my friends LDS-ism post, but I think that if you know LDS people it comes from a good place.

Hen Jen said...

just wow, I cannot understand why people go to other people's blogs and argue with them, say mean things...Just, do not get it. If you don't like someone's opinion, which a blog is by definition someone's thoughts, just read something else, or wow- write your own blog!!!

so sorry people are being mean to you C Jane, I really don't get it.

Stacey said...

I also enjoyed reading the comments yesterday, I found them to be fascinating and eye-opening. I'm looking forward to hearing more from Cjane on her religion, as she is promising!

As an outsider I do have to say, I didn't see Mormonism as being "slaughtered" yesterday. People are obviously passionate about it however. After reading some of those challenges by nonMormons I was intrigued and started researching and I found some truth in some of the criticisms. I don't think they were trying to slaughter your religion but just call out some things they've seen as lies and deception. The Youtube video on the president speaking about black people wasn't helpful! But there are two sides to every story and I'm looking forward to hearing your view Cjane.

Thanks!

La Yen said...

Hells Bells. I just love you. And I wish you were my neighbor because we would eat Samoas. But not Samoans, because Mormons are not cannibals, no matter how many YouTube videos there are...

nikkipicky said...

WOW!! Amazing how perspective can chane everything we see and hear.

I had no idea you had even opened up comments again...

Your brothers random comment totally cracks me up...Fits right in with the theatre crowd I know.

-J- said...

I just wanted to tell you something that's been on my mind. I am not a LDS. I was raised in a non-denominational Christian household and was taught in my Christian school that Mormonism was a "false religion". I grew up with that belief and honestly my family would be upset with me for even reading your blog. That's the fanatical background I come from, however I am not that type of person. I enjoy reading about your family and find myself more and more intrigued by the kindness, love, strength, etc. that I see in you all. I still find myself backing away from posts about Mormonism because I'm afraid...afraid I'll be persuaded to believe in it and then I'll go to hell like Mr. Whitehouse said. I want to hear it though. I want to know even though I'm afraid. I enjoy when your faith comes out in your writing even though at this point we don't share the same beliefs.

Todd and Amyjoy said...

I am sorry you read the negative comments. I am glad I didn't read them. There are a few really rude, thoughtless people out there and tons of us nice ones.

You are funny, thoughtful, witty, and honest. I love it when you share our religion and whatever else you want to. Keep it up!

(Did someone really comment on you being big? They must have never been pregnant before. Shame on them!)

dotti said...

You inspired me to read The Book Of Mormon. I can't say I had ever heard good things growing up about Mormon's, but you made me want to know more. I think your religion is wonderful, how it is really about Family and happiness as everything in life should be. I grew up in a "holy roller" church, and every week something had changed, I never felt like I knew the "rules", this caused me to flaunder about in my adult years. Thanks for all your honesty, you are beautiful! Reading the Book of Mormon has made me want to be a better me♥

Debbie said...

For what its worth in my opinion "your blog, your rules" write whatever you like. Anyone that doesnt like what you write on any given day can slide along to the next blog, there are a fair few out there!

dawnr232 said...

cjane, I have been reading you for a couple years now and LOVE your blog! Yesterdays comments were ridiculous and I think it's very telling that most of those negative comments came from "Anonymous" people... Obviously they know they have something to be ashamed of, otherwise they would proudly post their names! Keep on truckin, you are amazing!

Katie said...

Good for you for having the courage to follow up on yesterday's "train wreck". I found it disheartning that so many people attacked you yesterday. People that don't even know you. I didn't take your post as being a sales pitch for mormonism. I took it as someone who was sharing their afternoon and the feelings that being mormon gave them at that moment.

I always try to look at what people's intentions are and I really don't think you had any intention of drumming up a religious debate.

The Bagleys said...

Yesterday, most of the day, I thought about what I would have written had I commented on your post. All of my thoughts were retorts, replies, or explanations to others posts. That, of course, would have been most unproductive.

In yesterday's post I loved your description of your Mom's visiting friend... black and white dress and pink jacket.... love that women still wear dresses during the week!

It was heart wrenching to learn of Mrs. Whitehouse and how difficult it was for her kind husband and his confusion on where to go from here.

Thoughts of my Father and how difficult it was for him to lose my Mom, his sweet wife who prepared3 square meals for him everyday of his life, also came to mind.

Picturing your Mother twiddling with her hair and you pointing out it manifests her worry and concern.

Having a bishop to call in times of stress, peril or even death is such a comforting thing. Calling the bishop is, in a way, somehow symbolic of lying our cares, worries or woes at our Savior's feet, knowing he will either take them from us, or helps us work through them.

The bishop will appreciate the call and is someone with whom you can share your worry. He'll let you help but won't expect you to handle all of the compassionate service to be rendered.

Finally, yesterday's post gave me yet another opportunity to think about my sweet Mutti and remember how much love and support was given to me and my extended family when she passed from this earthly life.

Remembering my Mutti, and the kindness of others, always brings tears to my eyes and a smile to my heart.

Thank you to eveveryone who loves their neighbor and helps in times of need and shares in times of joy.

Joy said...

Come on people. Really? All those comments about a relatively uneventful afternoon in Cjane's family life? The one about the creamed corn nearly made me pee my pants. You think Mormons need someone to plan out the creamed corn delivery? My dear girl, I am not Mormon either but I do appreciate the positions established in any church that can get the ball rolling and make sure the job (and corn) are done. bring on the Bishops and come bring the corn to my house. I can only hope I've got good neighbors, Mormon or not, to help me when I'm down.

Sarah said...

Oh, boy.

You are Mormon.

I am Catholic.

I just want to throw those little tidbits out there, and then tell you: you passed my test, too.

Your post was a thoughtful narrative, simple as that! It attests to what you find compelling about your own religion. And that should not come as a surprise to anyone, because, hello? It's YOUR religion, so obviously it's beautiful to you.

Keep on with the honesty thing. :)

Erin said...

I tried to think of something to post yesterday in regards to the whole mess but couldn't figure out just what to say. cjane I think that you are doing a fabulous job. It is up to other people to be offended by what you say. Keep on being honest and keep on posting about us Mormons, I love it.

Anonymous said...

Courtney - My opinion is that it is YOUR blog, and no one else's. While you have loads of readers, including me, who read your blog daily, you just can't please them all (although, I am always pleased). So don't even try. This is YOUR blog, for things that YOU want to write about. I must also add that one of the things that really turned me off about Mormons when I was younger was that they were always trying to proselytize. But over the years I have met some really great Mormon friends, and they are just genuinely good people, who aren’t trying to shove their religion down anyone’s throat. I like that about you and your family. While it is clear that you love your religion, you are also very good at sharing your opinions without pushing it on others. Good job Courtney, and those people with the hateful comments have hateful hearts.

Tifini said...

I agree with Brian and Tonya. Thank you! You have inspired me today. I think this response was a work of art.

Tonya said...

Well said today...from a fellow Latter-day Saint. (Yesterday's comments are exactly why I don't brave blogging about my faith or anything truly personal in my heart.) Thank you for sharing your insights and humor with us everyday. I will always keep you and your family in my prayers.

Natalie said...

I'm surprised that you got negative reactions from your post. I didn't feel it was very preachy or (honestly) informative about our religion at all. In fact, I felt that it was cut in half and I'm missing the rest of the story. My only real criticism would be in saying that a Bishop is called to serve for 5 years - more or less. I've never ever seen or heard of there being a 'TERM' for Bishops.

Bummer about the nasty comments. I'd hate to have to read all that... which I avoided, sorry. It's frustrating that there are still so many "haters" out there.

DesignsByBari said...

Two thumbs up from the Jew!

I thought it made Mormon people seem like the best of neighbors and caring people.

xo, Bari

Anonymous said...

I am not of your religion or any religion for that matter but I find that people helping people a noble cause. I enjoyed your story and your look into the world. I envy your close knit community and knowing that someone always has your back. Kudos!
-Susan

Meagan said...

I'm really tired of my favorite bloggers basically having to put a disclaimer on every post just because they dare to have an opion that might offend someone else. I come to your blog to hear your voice, it is my choice and those who come to bash you have deep sadness and insecurity in thier heart, so I hope you don't heed thier words. I'm a Catholic in the deep south, a religion that is also widely misunderstood and condemned by the people I interact with every day. Their judgement only reveals the deep devide that separates Christ's church. My own father in law believes I am not "saved". Please don't let stop sharing your Mormon experiences because of the comments from the last post, or you would be robbing your real readers of what they come here to find. It was clear to me that the reason your mother and her neighbor were so frantic to contact thier bishop is that he is familiar with how to make funeral and burial arrangements, something Mr.Whitehouse simply couldn't get is greiving mind around at the time. Help with that very issue is what he was desparate for in that moment, and that is what your dear mother and her neighbor were trying to provide. As an ending note, I also struggle with my own feminine image as a well educated, independant, but also Christian wife. I believe if you aren't struggling with it, then you probably aren't thinking about it.

The Fear Fam said...

You are awesome, CJane. I had a huge comment drafted regarding my feelings from reading yesterdays comment section, but I decided to scrap it and instead just let you know that I, for one, appreciate your openness and willingness to put yourself out there, knowing what you will be subjected to. Keep on truckin' !

Chel Rae @ Eu Te Amo said...

Don't worry Jane. You may be giving the angry people the thing that they need in order to start thinking. And thinking is always a good thing. I get it and I got you. Thanks for being such a good example to me and for being so awesome.

rebeccaV said...

Hi CJane, I love you, I love your honesty. I love that you are UNASHAMED of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I read through all the comments last night, couldn't tear myself away. I felt so much strife inside because something I hold so dear to me, the most precious thing in my life was seemingly under attack by a vocal few. I know this happens a lot, but I will never get used to it. I appreciated the honest curiosity and love of others not of our faith. But is is so hard when something you love so deeply is being so obviously misunderstood.

I'm grateful to you for putting yourself out there like this. I know it can't be easy when people get so carried away. You are wonderful :)

kelly said...

I just wanted to tell you that I like you. I have no idea who you are - well, meaning I live very far away and we've never met in person - but I like to read your posts. And I don't read them all because, who has the time to read every blog post on their Google Reader? ... But I've read most and when I was pregnant and found it rough to move about, I read your archives... about 2 years ago. Your posts make me smile because we live parallel lives, but on MUCH different planes. Thanks for pushing on when it would be so much easier to make your blog private so you have access to the archives... no mean comments, no judging... but it rolls off you enough to continue to write and I appreciate that. It's hard, really hard. I couldn't do what you do. And yet, look how many people read your blog - both LDS and people of other or no faith. So thanks for writing, extremely candid or not - it's up to you how you present your thoughts and that's what they are - yours. Nothing wrong with that.

Azúcar said...

I want to talk about those black bean quesadillas you eat everyday.

Didn't anyone ever tell you that the one, true quesadillas are the monterey jack and cheddar cheese mix? Introducing black bean into a quesadilla is disrespectful.

I HOPE you find it in your heart to make a change someday back to real quesadillas. In the meantime, GOOD LUCK.

claire said...

First time commenter here and I have a question. What do Mormon's believe about heaven? Who enters glory and by what means?

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

dont worry over the negative comments- (though you dont seem like the type who really would give more credit to what others thought than what you know to be true.) i am not a mormon, but i like reading these little snapshots into mormonsism. its interesting. for me the most wonderful part of what was said in the comments section was hearing the outpouring of support and the welcoming back of those who had strayed from the church.God works in mysterious ways, maybe this was his purpose.

Erin Seabolt Bond said...

Well, now I'm going to have to go back and read the comments to the previous blog--I'm not Mormon, but I saw nothing offensive in the post, myself. (And if it's relevant, which I rather hope it isn't--I'm just your regular, garden-variety non-denominational myself.) I even sent the post to my friend, who was once a Mormon but is no longer, because I wanted more information about the bishops and wards and how that worked (fascinating, really!). It sounds like a truly elegant structure, with some obviously positive results.

I'm glad you're not taking the negativity too too seriously, because for every negative comment I'm sure there are a dozen of us who not only don't mind the discussion of religion but enjoy it. You were just sharing a story, and it was a lovely one at that.

Kelly Jean said...

Amen, Cjane! Pat yourself on the back for being in-tune with the Spirit enough to post uplifting thoughts. No one should've attacked you. It's more a reflection of them and their own lives than it is of you. And even at that, I'm pretty sure God's smiling at your noble efforts... and when all is said and done, that's what really matters, right? :) Keep it up... you've got a bunch of us behind you!

Sarah B. said...

I didn't read all your comments from yesterday but I am a Protestant and thought your post was great. We should all be proud of what our Religion does for its communities...and if someone was calling you all those namesthey are doing the same thing they claim you have done. Calling their ways better...pooey on them. Love your blog. And please, fat. You are gorgeous!

criticalcrass said...

hey c.j. so i read this post and the previous relevant post, and i have to say, i've no idea why people would find it offensive in anyway. what i saw in the earlier post was similarity and an ability to overlook a difference or barrier which might otherwise not be overlooked in most situations. we tend to close ranks...like with like...too often in society. i think we teach our children that--one of these things is not like the other (i never understood why a child's television show would spend so much time focusing on what makes things different)...anyway. i thought it was sweet and kind and compassionate that your mother would call the person she knew to call to see about how to help your neighbor.

i read a handful of the comments that were made to that post, and then decided i didn't want to hear them. because the people who wrote the bigoted and nasty didn't get the point of that blog.

Sue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JaneB said...

1. I thought very few of the comments had anything at all to do with CJane or her post, but really evolved organically with people responding to each other.

2. I thought the rudest commenter was the LDS member who apparently thinks state sanctioned same-sex marriage would mean the Church of LDS would be forced to marry gays. LOL!

3. I look forward to your posts about your church's doctrine. As an African American, I'm particularly interested in your church's recent history and attitude toward people that look like me and my children.

julia said...

Dear Courtney:
I hope you read this.
Not that any one really cares about my 2 cents, because really, most people are very convicted about their beliefs, that no matter what anyone says they will stand by it, but who really cares?
The beauty of being an American is that you have the right to think or believe whatever you want. I am not mormon. I am not really Christian, I don't identify with any particular religion.
If Courtney wants to be a mormon, good for her. If mormons want to ban gay marriage, they can fight for it. It's their right at US citizens. ( I do not agree with this, I am totally for equal rights for everyone, including the mormons and homosexuals).
If you think Courtney and her mother are doormats and submissive women, what's it to ya? They have the right to be that way if they so choose. If Courtney wants to do things without asking her Bishop, good for her, but if she wants to ask her Bishop who gives a crap??? I'm a grown up married woman, and I still ask my Daddy what I should do about stuff on a daily basis.
Everyone needs to step back and stop worrying so much about what other people do. If you think mormons are closed minded and judgemental, then don't be a mormon. If you want to be an evangelical Christian, then go for it.
Why don't we all just try to be nice people, and worry about ourselves and how we may be treating others????
Courtney, I think you are cool, and funny, and I read your blog because you are a nice person and a good writer. You are a fun and funny Mom, and you make me laugh. The internet is not where I go for spiritual guidance.
I don't care if you are the Bishop of Mars, and your doctrine says you all have to wear purple high heels to the gas station in order to get into heaven. Do what you want, and do what you think is right.
Everyone really needs to just shut up about this and mind their own business!

Annie said...

Of course CJane's experience is not exclusive to Mormons. However, seeing as CJane is a Mormon it makes sense that her commentary would be Mormon-based. She can't very well comment on her life experiences through the eyes of a Catholic can she?? Of course, if any of us see a friend or neighbor in need we should reach out to them and do what we can whatever our religion. If you don't like or appreciate Mormons or their beliefs why are you reading the blog of a women who has deep roots in Mormon faith? OF COURSE she is going to write about her faith. If she didn't she wouldn't be true to who she is. Please. People who have time to comment negatively on a blog have too much time on their hands and should use that time a little more wisely and positively. Maybe reach out to a neighbor in need?

Sue said...

I went to post this comment on the Mormonism post, but commenting is disabled now, so I'm posting it here instead. I really did want to share my thoughts, so I hope you won't mind.

For those who are interested, my feelings regarding Prop 8 are expressed here:

http://ldsliving.com/article/77879/Prop-8:-It's-Impact:-GREAT

I hope that the article helps anyone sincerely wanting to understand an LDS person's feelings on the matter of gay marriage.

By the way, my take on cjane's mom saying "The Bishop will know what to do" was that she is a proud mother, expressing faith in her son's ability to function in his role as bishop of that ward. I feel that same sense of appreciation when any of my children are functioning in their adult roles that make my buttons pop a bit. In those situations, I am every quick to take a back seat and let them shine. I want to make sure I stay out of the "mom" role and show respect for them as adults.

Also, before bringing in the calvary, so to speak, it makes sense for one person to speak with the man and assess what, if any, his needs might be as regards the funeral. The bishop, one of whose responsibilities is conducting funerals, seems an obvious choice for such a visit.

Finally, I do want to affirm here that most LDS women are highly independent and capable individuals. We are not the meek creatures the media sometimes likes to paint us as being.

;)

PS. Oops. Forgot one thing. I'd like to second the notion that anyone who wants to learn about our Church is best served by going to the source. Visit www.lds.org or www.mormon.org for the real scoop. There are many sites established by people with their own agendas about the LDS Church that use various forms of our name (LDS, Mormon, etc.), thereby appearing to be authorities on the subject when they are not. To find out about the doctrine of the LDS Church (or any other church, for that matter), it seems best to consult that organization.

Nest Bliss said...

haha I read yesterdays, am not a mormon, and the only thing I remembered sticking out was how funny it was that he said the bit about"'One day I prayed and asked God if I should be a Mormon. And He answered me, Yes . . . if you want to go to Hell.' "

But maybe also nice that you thought it was funny too...I think you and the other popular Mormon bloggers are really re-defining a public view of Mormons for a lot of people.

Celeste said...

i think i'll rant and rave about how inappropriate topher's comment was!!! LOL!!!

That was the bestest!

Beth said...

Love your brothers comment!!

Anywho...don't know much about your religion, but aren't Mormons Christians? And if that is the case, then don't each denomination of Christianity have similar and yet sometimes very different traditions etc. But isn't the bottom line ALL denominations of Christianity that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Saviour and that only through His blood we are saved?

My friend is Catholic and prays to Saints and Mary. As a non-denom Christian I only pray to God, but I certainly don't think that my friend is any less of a Christian then I am.

And since I don't know much about your faith or its practices, my ignorant self is curious as to why Mormons get a bad rap?

Personally, all I have ever heard anyone say about Mormons is that most are pretty conservative. And if that is true, then I would have a lot in common with "most" Mormons.

Blessings to you my dear!!

julia said...

Courtney:
Julia again.
You are definitely not fat, and even if you were, I can't believe some ass would point it out to you. You are a sexy, beautiful woman. You hair is nice, and your face is pretty. I do not want to marry you, so don't get any ideas.
And to Topher...I agree wiht your comments on American Idol. That one guy is creepy, and I'm very unimpressed with most of the contestants this year.

Stacey C. said...

Bravo Stephanie Marie...well put

Anonymous said...

There is something about our religion that is so polarizing, either you love it or hate it. I haven't really seen a ex-Baptist, or an ex-Catholic dedicate an entire blog to bashing their former religion, (jack mormon). It many be out there, but I have not stumbled across it.

I live outside of Utah and I am friends with many people who have parted way with their former religion, all of which seemed to just naturally slide away with out hard feelings, just how things went. Yet every ex-Mormon IN MY LIFE (bold as to not generalize) are angered by the church. My mom and sister no longer practice the religion and there is some hardness they feel towards it that I just can't understand, yet in some ways I can. It is this feeling of not good enough which is crazy if you listen to the very doctrine taught each Sunday. Still I wonder if it is the cultural climate, or dare I say the knoweldge that they have let go of something precious. I was in-active for a couple years, and I had the same angry feelings myself. I still struggle with what I believe, I feel like I don't always fit the mold, then I remind myself their is no mold other than wanting to be more like Christ.

Anyways.... just wanted to comment about what I have noticed, which lead to that tangent.

Quinn And Zoe said...

I am not a mormon. Nor will I ever be. But I think that what the world could use a little more of is a decrease in ignorance. To any religion. More acceptance would be nice... so bring on the doctrine saying!
I think that one of the most beautiful things any organized religious group can do is help others who don't share their belief system. That was Jesus in a nutshell, right?

annie said...

I've enjoyed reading your posts for the past year now, and I'm probably not your typical audience. I'm not Mormon, not from the Midwest, and not blessed with children just yet. But I am a believer in Jesus Christ. And I enjoy a good witticism. And powerful writing. So here I am to say this: Your post from a couple of days ago was beautiful. Because, to me, what you described is faith. Perhaps our doctrines are different. But the deep empathy you expressed is just more proof of what Christ's love can offer the world.

And, one more thing: thank you for sharing your journey of faith. Despite our differences, I find so many things that make our journeys the same. That's why I--and so many others--keep reading.

Boo to the naysayers.

Long comment over.

Jodi said...

CJane - From another non-Mormon, I say keep on keeping on. We love for who you are and that's a Mormon woman who blogs her thoughts. Isn't that the point to a blog with your name on it?

Kate said...

Anon, I personally believe there is anger towards the church from ex-Mormons because they felt lied to, controlled and deceived. Hindsight is 20/20. Your comment seems to say something about the church LDS experience! Something to think about...

I also have to say, Cjane, I did not see in those comments where you were called a "bigot" and other names. I saw people commenting on how they felt about your attitude towards the Baptist and people referring to the old LDS beliefs on the Curse of Cain.

Where were you name called? I missed this.

2busy said...

I would and do appreciate you for your thoughts, ideas and experiences. It wouldn't matter who you were or what religion. I appreciate the things you have to say. You go girl!

Anonymous said...

I found this blog through a story on your sister, and kept reading because I enjoy the joyousness of your writing about life and find it refreshing.

For me, I actually dread when you talk about religion because I think to myself, how can this cool lady who I'd like to have cupcakes with, be so devoutly a part of an organization that actively seeks to deny equal marriage rights to other human beings, as the most prominent example. I mean, you must have gay friends, right? So if you do choose to write more about religion, I think it is likely that some of your readers will ask questions like that... perhaps that's a good opportunity to open a conversation, or perhaps its too many headaches for you, but that's just how one of your loyal readers sees it.

That said, I appreciate your honesty and giving in opening your life to your readers, no matter what direction it takes.

JaneB said...

Sue,

I read your posting. Thank you. I disagree with much of it, but that's okay. One thing I'll point out is that you say you "don't oppose domestic partner statutes affording them [gay] any and all legal rights enjoyed by heterosexual couples in a marriage relationship. (Family Code 297.5)" Just to be clear, even this would have made it impossible for Catholic Charities to provide adoption services. Adoption agencies have to be licensed by the state, the state forbids discrimination, thus.. they can't place children only in straight homes (or white homes or whatever). Those are the legal rights you are talking about.

I think it's unfortunate too -- altho many Catholic Charities adoption agencies have basically worked around it by doing indirect adoptions thru other agencies.

Still, these are the hiccups that wil happen on the road to equality. Separate but equal never worked out, did it? You can't say, we won't serve you here, but you can go down the road. At least you can't say that anymore.

I have larger issues with the domestic partnership idea and it's mostly a function of how our common laws have been developed (thru precedent and not straight laws). To be "married" in the state has legal meanings that domestic partnership just doesn't. We'd have to change 200 years of convoluted law. To a church, tho, to any church, it can always mean whatever you want it to mean: God, Man, Woman. Sure. No problem

Anonymous said...

Since I found your blog and your sister's a little more than a year ago, I am positive you do more to teach us about being a Mormon than anywhere else. I won't even go into what "being a Mormon" was like in my thoughts prior to reading your blogs. And it's not that I heard a lot that was wrong, just generally speaking there are a lot of misconceptions.

After your post yesterday I felt as though your religion has even MORE to teach us - about helping people and being there, NO MATTER who and what religion needs us.

Later as I read the comments (I check back later if I am on the computer) I was blown away by the negative ones. OF COURSE anyone could simply call him and make a dish of whatever and send it to him. But as a whole, having a set group who handles those things, oversees the plans, organizes volunteers, etc. is a good thing. I was amazed by anyone who thinks this is somehow wrong that your mother (or anyone) would check with others to see what to do.

One person can certainly help (I make it a point to always DO something good for people - I never say "let me know what you need" as most people won't let you know or don't even know what they need) but I am ONE person. I am not above realizing that one person can make a small difference but a group of people can make a huge difference.

I have never commented on your blogs but enjoy reading them. If you write something that doesn't apply to me I move along and check back tomorrow. People need to be more open in the world and realize that we are all different. Until the accident I'm sure your blogs were for your families and friends (the occasional stranger popping over to read) and maybe a hope to someday have it made into a book for your kids to see your lives. I don't think writing to cater to an audience of strangers is the right thing...I think you should write what you believe in and what you want memorialized.

Time and time again you and your family have stood up for what you believe in and not put others down (even the truly ignorant who are just simply rude people - ie fat in your 3rd trimester? I don't care if someone is fat to begin with - it's simply rude and they should mind their own business then.) I don't know how you can be so graceful in how you deal with those comments. whatever you are doing is working.

Love your families and reading about your lives and it's nice to see others out there who embrace both the good and bad in life and live to the fullest. Keep on writing!
~Jackie

Brittany said...

I did not read yesterday's comments. Quite honestly, I am stunned that your post offended anyone! What on Earth is offensive about a group of Christian women worrying about a neighbor and wondering what they can to do help him through such a tragedy?! Isn't that what neighbors do? At least they are supposed to be that way.

In our own predominantly LDS neighborhood we have a family who does not attend our church. They have a daughter who was recently getting married on a very tight budget. It was going to be a very small affair. The week of the wedding the mother went into the hospital. The NEIGHBORS (who all happened to be LDS) made meals for her family, donated decorations and food for the reception, decorated the hall, served the food, and cleaned up afterward. No one proselytized! It was friends and sisters helping another friend in need. Isn't that what Christ taught?

Chrissy Jo said...

I think some adults are just mean. I have a sister who is really good at calling people out on it, to their face, and Wow! She gets the best reactions. Usually people don't get angry. They just deflate and disappear.

I'm sorry people are mean. You seem like a tough cookie, but it can wear anyone down after a while.

I say good clean honesty is the best policy. I found nothing wrong with your post. If people are bugged they really should just STOP reading. Don't they have anything more important to do? Really?

Marianne said...

P.S. that last comment by Brittany was actually me...my daughter was signed in! Love Ya! CJane!

rychelle said...

as i read yesterday's post in the late afternoon, i had no idea so much turmoil was brewing under it's surface (i rarely venture too far from google reader).
i had no idea that you were putting yourself in the line of fire, in order to share a small, sweet glimpse of your human experience.
it makes me sad to know that a blog that has brought me so much hope and joy and kinship (not that we're really related or anything) over this past year or more was fighting against ignorance and hatred to do so. but, it somehow made me appreciate you and your graceful writing all the more.
thank you for keeping on.

Bonnie said...

I don't feel like I am often offended, except when it comes to my church, something I beleive in so fully. I know all of our past, and I know what people dislike about our church, but I believe, and shouldn't taht be enough?

I don't go around looking for other religions to bash, I think having christ in our lives is the most important thing in the world.

Please, let us speak of our religion. We'll let you speak of yours, how firm is your testimony?

Kristen said...

I love your posts. Just had to say it :). And I love your humor and sarcasm and sincerity and all the other stuff in between!

Oh, and if you still can't get Chup to clip your toe nails, you should come to my aesthetics school Acaydia and get a $23 pedicure. I think every women in their third trimester owes herself a nice 50 minute pedicure. And who knows, maybe a bright spring nail polish will help welcome some warmer weather! I'm just sayin :).

But seriously, here's the address: 86 North University Avenue, Provo.
and phone number: 801-377-0025
- but only because our pedicures are the best :). You can ask for me too. I won't mind!
hehe - I know, shameless plug :).

lady lee said...

Topher - If some of your favorites were part of the group that got sent home, you betta wise up.

Mark my words it's between Bowersox, Casey James, and that dude with the glasses that sang "straight up".

YEAAAAAH! BOOYAH!

Grace to You said...

Like others who have responded before, I am constantly horrified at how ready people are to attack others on the net. It's truly unbelievable.

Although I may not agree with certain LDS doctrines, I have been fascinated to have an upclose encounter with young LDS wives and mothers through blogs like yours. The thing I love about your blogs, which without fail they all share, is the love and respect the wives have for their husbands, and the joy and delight they have in their children (most of the time lol).

This has been a most pleasant surprise, to find young women who are not only obeying the Scriptures but finding joy in it as well.

I can honestly say, you and your sister particularly have encouraged me to find that same delight (and energy!) in the privilege of raising my son and keeping my home.

Thank you for that.

Mrs. Davis @ The Carolina Housewife said...

People got riled up about that post? Honestly!

I'm certainly not a Mormon but I found that post harmless.

Some people are just meanies, period.

Sylvia said...

Sheesh! Where do you find time to read all your comments?

You are quite provocative which I find fascinating. Who knew a loving, straightforward LDS woman living in "happy valley" could evoke such passion and from something as simple as a post about watching over one another...imagine if you took on "King Follett?" or baptism for the dead!

Nellie bar the door!

I hope all the love and support in your comments encourages you. I anxiously await your posts each morning.

Thanks for that! Your family is AMAZING!!

steelebjm said...

I will quote Dug the Dog from Up. I have just met you and I love you. :) I just started reading your blog a couple months ago and I love it. It is the highlight of my Google Reader. You are brave and a great pretend friend! :) Love from another LDS mom with a wee graffiti artist of her own--Marjory

Anonymous said...

Following yesterdays comments that I just read, I have to make one comment, only so I feel better. And it does have to do with Prop 8........
As a mormon we have faith in our prophet and leaders and we have to have faith that they are leading us righteously.
So, when we are told to do something, we have to have FAITH, complete and utter faith. We don't always know why or what we are doing, but it is because of FAITH that we are doing it.
Without faith, what is the point of everything that we do or believe in?
That is why I follow my prophet, because of my testimony which is my faith.

ElizabethFaust said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

My Grandma Millie always says - "It is best to refrain from religious and political talk when socially entertaining." I agree. To me the blog is entertaining - let's keep it at that. For those who want religious education - maybe start a new blog. Otherwise please keep it off here - we all will NEVER AGREE!

Joann Mannix said...

Peace, C-Jane. You deserve it.

And you were quite undeserving of all the rancid comments sent your way.

Keep fighting the good fight. It is only the closed minded who didn't get your point, a point well-taken by any true Christian. But, I'm not here to point fingers, that's not my style. Because there should be no more truer words than, "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me."

I'm here just to say thank you to all the kind people who stopped by my little blog yesterday to say they liked my comment. When I opened up my emails today and spotted a message from THE Azucar, I actually had to catch my breath! So, thanks it's really only supposed to be about loving your fellow human being.

So, now that I'm done hijacking your blog, I only have one more little thing that I've always wanted to yell out: I LOVE your brother Topher!! He makes me snort my coffee, (yes, coffee) out my nose! Rock on, Topher!!!!

Kim said...

I have said it once, and I will say it again, this anonymous commenting really chaps my ass. The best part about reading and commenting on someones blog (their opinion) is standing behind your comments (your opinion). Seriously people, my ass is chapped!!!!

CJ-lots of love. These people who spread hate and 3rd trimester fluffy comments must really live unhappy lives. Sad, but true. i stopped reading the comments on your blog a few days ago. I just could not take it.

Parkside View said...

I spent a greater part of my day yesterday reading your post and subsequent comments and found myself getting a little "worked-up" as you described. I decided I probably should stick to your lovely writing and leave it at that. Your commenters (including myself) do not really hold a candle to your ability and writing genius anyway, so I wasn't even going to read them today. Your post and explanation are sufficient for me. Then I spotted your brother's comment, and that made my day! Kind of put the whole thing into proper perspective, didn't he!

Whitney said...

Courtney--

You are so brave--in that--you are willing to write (in a way that I love SOOOO much) and be open to criticism from those who, if they really understood where you were coming from, would not criticize at all.

I love sharing ideas and opinions, but one of the reasons that I have not done it in blog form is because I hate feeling misunderstood and attacked personally when someone really has no idea what/who they are judging. Your posts are just glimpses of your thoughts and your life--how can someone judge off such a small sliver?

I am grateful that there are people like you willing to put up with personal attacks on very personal things--which no one deserves--so that we can enjoy your thoughts, personality, and fun writing style.

Thank you!

I'm NOT a VOLCANO! said...

I know you get a million comments per day, and my little encouragement cannot possibly reach you enough to touch you, but I have to say that I admire you, and as a mormon, I'll back up anything you say (unless of course, it's false, but I have yet to see that and while I don't know you personally, I follow and read and I think you have a good, intelligent, righteous heart.) I'm on your side, honey- and for the record, people who call pregnant women 'fat' in any of their trimesters really just have a complex. They're either afraid that THEY are fat, or they're afraid that they're GOING to be fat once they have children. I firmly believe that adults don't really grow out of all those childish behaviors just because they get older. And people, for some reason, feel better when they make others feel bad. I never understood that logic.

Carrot Jello said...

Well I suggest you never blog about casseroles again.
They're very controversial, don't ya know.

Corri said...

I am, on a good day, agnostic. I hope that there is a greater power and a higher purpose. But I have found little in organized religion that is attractive to me so, for now, I live solely in the secular world. I am also uncomfortable with any kind of proselytization.

That said, nothing at all in your post from yesterday hit my radar as being even vaguely offensive or making me the least bit uncomfortable. While overt proselytization makes me squirm, anyone from any religion who merely lives their religion as an integrated part of their daily lives certainly does not.

Keep on doing what you are doing. The commenters who have suggested that topics like religion and politics should stay out of blogging must not understand the purpose, history, and social context of blogs! If readers are offended, then they can stop reading. If your sponsors are concerned, they can stop sponsoring.

(Shaking my head here.) I really don't get what people complained about. I read your blog because you are witty and introspective and simultaneously self-deprecating and grandiose! I know that you are Mormon and I expect it to be part of your life...which is what you are retelling here.

Trish and Greg said...

I got home from work last night at 12:30 am, and was interested enough to read every single comment of the "Late Afternoon Mormonism" post. I was up 'til 3 or 4 am, I think. (My husband says it was 4!) I plowed through 201 comments, didn't miss a word.

I'm LDS too, so I will admit that I got a bit "grouchy", at first. Then, the sweetest feeling came over me. I felt an immense sense of love from God for all of his children. And then I felt sadness that we treat each other so unkindly.

I agree with so many others: Courtney - post what you feel. Be as honest as you'd like. I'll be respectful of your perspective, and I'll welcome your viewpoint. I want to hear from you about what you do, think, feel, worry about.

If I tire of your perspective, I'll leave off reading your blog. No attacks. No scolds.

So simple.

The Toll House Cookie said...

Listen...people just need to lighten up. I started following your blog knowing you are LDS and I believe anyone who doesn't admit that upfront that they know who you are and what your beliefs are can't be telling the truth. And, if anyone has a "strong" negative opinion about LDS--then they've obviously done enough research to form that opinion. So-for you to share on your blog what happens in your life and in your community shouldn't be off limits to you for sharing. I'm Catholic-and in our Arise program this AM, we discussed culteral differences, namely between the Amish and how forgiving they were of the man who killed those school girls years ago. How we could learn from them their act of forgiveness and loving. Your demonstration yesterday of a caring community looking out for for a person who lost his spouse what wonderful. We are all Children of God who should care for one another--without boundaries. I look forward to your blog regularly.....and will continue to do so.

Nama said...

Oh, Court, I really do enjoy your musings in whatever form they take, be it religion, food, family, or just plain self-indulgence. That's what blogs are for, right?

There are many things I could/want to say concerning this and your previous post (and the comments), but instead, I'll just send you a virtual (I feel really silly saying this) hug. You're great. You're my hero (some days). And I want to be you when I grow up (one day).

Please continue blogging about whatever feels right and good to you. It's what you're good at. :)

compulsive writer said...

So sad I missed the comments after your sweet post yesterday. But not really, because I would have been tempted to respond to all of the haters with a loud and possibly all capped: "Who peed in your Cheerios?" And that wouldn't have been very nice. I prefer to play nice.

I'm with Chup. And you. And all the nonhaters. I thought it was sweet your momma wanted to be so thoughtful. There are two kinds of people in this world--the kind who appreciate caring and thoughtful gestures regardless of the religion of the giver. And those who don't. I feel kind of sorry for those who don't. They're missing out.

starsgoblue said...

I just read your post from yesterday and I didn't feel that you were trying to send some sort of "Mormonism is the best, most compassionate religion" message at all.

Hopefully, when someone is struggling and needs help, we do the right thing and offer our assistance. I saw your post more as a statement about doing the right thing.

I'm personally struggling with organized religion at this point in my life. Any religion that wants to put me in a box and ask me only to believe what they tell me to believe and to never question anything is not a religion that has my best interests at heart.

I love reading about other religions because the more I read, the more I learn. Reading through the comments in your last post convinced me that I am right to question organized religions which seek to limit our knowledge, and to DIVIDE us rather than unite us.

Elisabeth said...

I recommend the book- Latter Days, by Coke Newell. He is a member who converted to the church in young adulthood, and the book is published by an independent publisher. I'm reading it right now and find it to be a great overview of church history, doctrine and culture. It is geared towards non-lds people, but as a member I've really learned a lot from it.

G Clay said...

Cjane,
Your contested blog yesterday was the example I used in RCIA last night about Ecumenical Responsibility to the incoming former Protestants who are now converting to Catholicism. I don't know if that will fill you with warmth or not, but your blog made some new Catholics look at their previous religious lives in a new light and helped some hearts feel happy. Thanks.

I'm NOT a VOLCANO! said...

Can I just say one more thing? Sorry.

How about we all just stop telling people what they should write on THEIR blogs? If you don't want to read it, don't- but that's ridiculous telling Courtney that she shouldn't write something here, in HER haven, because people will disagree with her. Who had a problem with LDS women being submissive and meek? Is that why you think you have the right to boss her around about what she is entitled to write about?

For many of us, religion is a HUGE factor in the kind of person we are. I rarely write about my religion (except in passing references to 'church' and 'prayer' but not much detail) but it's still there. All my actions, my beliefs, the way I vote, the way I speak, what I watch, what I eat and drink or what I choose not to eat or drink gives COMPLETE merit to my religion. Most of us don't just go to church on sunday to 'worship' and then go through our week doing whatever we want. We LIVE our religion day in and day out. Anyone whose life is truly affected by what they believe in is going to pop out, and that's no one elses business.

Once again, if you do'nt want to hear about it, then don't read LDS people's blogs. Or skip the post. For heaven sake, it's not a life or death issue.

Katie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Katie said...

1. Yowzas!
2. I heart cjane. We need shirts. I heart CJane shirts. Have your people get on that ;)
3. I save your blog for last because I love the taste it leaves in my head.
4. I've received a communicable addiction from The Chief - Pirates Booty.

Nikki said...

CJane,

Thanks for the hug yesterday! I totally needed it - and right back at ya!

M'Liss said...

It all comes down to being good human beings. It shouldn't matter the race, age, religion,... If we all obey the "Golden Rule" and treat others how we want to be treated, wouldn't we all be happier.

You are amazing!

My kids love Stalking Santa. T.E.R.D. You brother is hilarious!!

Kate said...

Your previous post.. that is why I don't want my husband to be Bishop... Okay, that sounds really selfish- but what I am saying, are Bishops are amazing, but they can't accomplish anything w/o the help of others.

Nicole said...

I was one of your readers that was stoked to be provided more insight on the LDS religion. As somebody who doesn't know a lot about it and has only heard some of the weirder rumors, it was nice to see the tender side of Mormonism.

Best yet, I didn't feel like you were proselytizing at all (which is kind of a turn-off when people do).

People will be ugly any chance they get, especially online, but I'm personally happy that you keep on keepin' on... you're always a bit of sunshine in my hectic day!

Floyd said...

Frankly, I really appreciate your posts regarding your faith. I do not know much about the Mormon religion and love learning more about its particular customs.

You just keep being true to yourself and forget the attacking nutjobs out there!

melanie said...

Courtney, I am a protestant Christian who knows a minimal amount of accurate information about the Mormon faith, and I have to say I really enjoy it when you do blog about what you believe. I was raised with a great deal of skepticism toward other religions (and branches of Christianity), and although I do not anticipate converting to your faith, my respect for it has grown exponentially since reading your blog and your sister's.

I do also sympathize with your difficulty of discussing faith online, though. My beliefs have changed just enough since becoming an adult that I am constantly questioned by my friends and family over what I always think are the most benign comments I've made online. As a result I've ruled any sort of actual discussion right out. And let me tell you how heartbreaking that's been (and how much therapy it's required).

The internet is such an amazing thing, but for some reason it seems to breed arguments at every turn.

All that to say, I really loved your post yesterday.

Anonymous said...

I thought yesterday's post was beautiful. Keep up the good work CJane. I love your writing, your family, etc. I know it sounds ridiculous. We've never met. I've read your blog for over a year since Stephanie was hurt.

When I see the love of your family and neighbors it makes my heart melt. You are beautiful people.

Sincerely,
Patti H.
Livonia, Michigan

Sara said...

love you c jane. love you.

collierl said...

Dear CJane,

Thank you for your honesty and for sharing a view into your life.

I may not always understand or agree, but I find myself enjoying you and your perspective.

Good peeps you and your family.

Have a lovely weekend...may the sun shine brightly.
L

Kacey said...

I truly don't care what religion you are. I just think you're awesome.

P.S. I actually loved yesterday's post. I took it for what it was and didn't try to read anything into it. Because you always tell it like it is, I assumed that's how you meant it to be read. I'm sorry people left you mean and hurtful comments.

Tiffany said...

I thought that post was so adorable. I am amazed how you do what you think is right even though there are negative folks out there who will blast you for it. You amaze me with your adorableness, your wisdom, and your honesty.

Mommy Wis(h)dom said...

C Jane - I am not Mormon, however when I read about your family, your community, your faith - I want to become Mormon. lol
I think most "religions" today are missing this core belief. It's about taking care of those around you, your community, in a time of need regardless of their belief. Thank you for sharing your religion, faith with me.

PS I love how all the neagtive comments come from anonymous readers. (insert eye roll)

RB said...

I am fascinated with your blog and your discussion about your religion. I am Methodist but am always open to learning about how others worship. I don't really care what a person is, Mormon, Hindu, Jew... we are what we are.

However, I am a lawyer. People tell me "lawyer jokes" all the time that they think are hysterical. They post Facebook statuses about how lawyers are the reason the country is in disarray. Apparently, all lawyers are the same? Anyway, those things hurt. Maybe that is why I try to live an inclusive life and try to understand where other people are coming from. I like almost anyone that spends more time trying to create love than they do trying to create hate.

Thanks for what you do, hang in there.

Tiffany said...

I think you should not allow anonymous comments anymore, than you and those of us who like to read comments wont have to deal with fraidy cats to who are to scared to say who they are because they are haters.

When one can be anonymous they sometimes tend to say things they would normally not.

Just a thought.

Jen said...

A highlighter, post shower? Now that is definitely commitment! And pudding on the walls. I just about freaked when my sassy two wrote in washables on the wall- Never mind potty training this week.

I respect and admire your simplicity and open nature. Keep it coming, you martyr you. Write your heart out and never mind who crushes it.

Kate said...

Oh, and I don't think you should be sorry about writing that post... I think some really amazing things are happening because of it:) Way to go!

Lee said...

Courtney you are taking over the world one post at a time! People are responding. I think you are on the right track. I also think obama is going to be calling you to help counsel.

MS Mom said...

I love reading you and Nie's blogs. You are both so inspiring and so funny!

YellowMutt said...

It makes me sad that there are so many judgemental people out there...don't they realize that their judgement passed on you in essence makes their point moot? They are canceling themselves out just by being simply willing to pass judement on you. Geez, I feel so sorry for the person that didn't look at you story as anything but caring, and beyond your faith, just showing what a wonderful community you are a part of that would overlook such a harsh statement, and just love. I guess there are just people out there that just simply go toward the negative. I felt warm and fuzzy after reading it, just to know that there are still such good, caring people in the world, be they Mormon or not.

Pickypaws said...

I think there's alot of mean people out there. I knew from the get-go that you were Mormon and that it would play into the essence of who you are, how you approach life and where your values/ethics stem from. I love learning more about your faith, through your eyes and it doesn't take away from my faith to learn about someone else's. Keep up the good work and keep sharing your life and faith with us, your loyal readers. The mean people don't need to read your blog if they don't find it of value. Best wishes - Susan in Phoenix

Rebecca said...

Thanks for having the courage to post about something so dear to your heart, despite the criticism that inevitably follows. I appreciate your strength and example - and I believe more good than bad will come from it, so keep it up!

Lisa said...

Topher, stop watching American Idol. It's stupid.

(Sorry I had to post that here, Court, but Topher's been really busy lately with OPENING NIGHT OF DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS AT THE HALE CENTER THEATER IN OREM! GET TICKETS TODAY!)

Wendi said...

We know that you care, Cjane! Thanks for caring!! (I hope that you didn't feel too badly about the comments. It just shows that you're an amazing writer. And I actually did learn a lot from the comments shared by everyone.)

And I think it's obvious that we shouldn't take your blog too seriously with the fun banners you choose. I really appreciated both posts, as well as the things I learned from the way people think from yesterday's comments.

Keep up the good work, Cjane. You have a multitude of loyal readers who love you and your fun personality. And you are one of the prettiest pregnant people I've ever seen. Hope you have a great weekend. :)

Rosalee said...

I love your blog. I love you! And I think you are gorgeous. Thanks for your story yesterday. It brightened my day. I love reading your blog last because it is ALWAYS uplifting. Oh, and thank you SO much for the post on your provo blog about the Greek restaurant. My husband and I went last Friday and LOVED it. I think I need to go again tonight.

Don't stop doing what you're doing. You are a great example. You should read Elder Hales' talk about Christian Courage. I think it was given in the Oct 2008 conference. It helps me out a lot.

Cathy said...

Cjane,

One of the things I love about your blog and quite honestly you, is that it is clear you DO care. You might have meant that tongue in cheek in this post, but I had to stop and tell you this. As one who sent an email to you with “constructive criticism” (or not so constructive) and was blessed enough to have an eye-opening email exchange with you, I have direct knowledge of how much you care. If I had the courage and fortitude to blog, I would blog about all I learned about myself through that exchange.

I’m self-confessed blog-a-holic and read more than I should. I have found among the truly popular bloggers who have numerous readers and therefore numerous detractors, or as they refer to them, “haters” (I could not hate that word more. I hate on the word haters.), a common theme is how they just don’t care about who dislikes them or why. And I TOTALLY understand why that is a needed attitude, because if you took too much personally you’d have to give up blogging. But some of these bloggers seem to wear the fact that they have multitudes of detractors and people who send them hate mail as a badge that somehow shows they have made it and have become a “celebrity blogger” of some sort. They almost become hostile in their own way, relishing that fact that they stir up so much controversy and digging their heels, committing to the idea that they are going to do whatever they want, regardless of how people perceive them (at least that’s how it comes across – wouldn’t want to assume :0).

But you care and I love it and I think it’s rare in the blogging world. And I bet you really have to balance that caring and also realizing you can’t control how some people perceive a truly innocent post. I read yesterday’s post and went about my workday. I read blogs at work - it’s lovely way to ease the pain of cubicle life. I didn’t have time to read it and mull over the intent, so I went back to read it again later when the boss wasn’t around. And then for some reason I clicked on comments, and I NEVER read comments. And the dialogue that took place blew me away. I really enjoyed reading them actually, since it seemed that MOST people were able to discuss it like adults without attacking. But I was also so surprised that such a simple post was the catalyst to such heavy topics. I didn’t glean anything of the sort and I have some definite opinions on the issues that were raised in comments.

But I want you to know the fact that you care about your readers is so appreciated and really sets you apart from a lot of other popular bloggers. So keep rocking it like only you do. And we’ll keep reading and learning and growing as people.

Cathy

Tonya said...

I've read for a long time now, but never posted. All I have to say is that I am proud of you. Keep the stories coming.

Jessica C said...

1) I haven't read the comments on the other page because if they made you write a whole other post, they must be bad.
2) I am not LDS but I LOVE that you are and that is actually the first reason I started reading your blog. It actually didn['t start because of your sister.
3) You are not fat, you are nurturing a blessing from GOD and if someone can't see that, then they deserve a pop upside their head - meanies.
4) I LOVE that you are strong and take all peoples comments and are kind to them and christianly towards all persons, that is the true meaning for faithfulness and Godliness.
5) I am sorry about your non-mormon neighbor and I hope that having your Ward bless him in this time of need will open his heart and push out any of the "rumors" or "beliefs" that he has pertaining to LDS.
LOVE YOU Courtney and blessings to you for all you endure!
Cheers from England...

Teresa Leigh said...

I there! love this post.
your brave and I commend you for that.

I also think the grand thing about the internet is that we are able to have "freedom of press" and "freedom of religion" and unfortunately that means "freedom of speech" I guess you win some you lose some.
I just enjoy reading form another perspective. It keeps especially since I find there is more in common then there is different!

Anonymous said...

I Love being a stay at home LDS momma. I can sit here with my curlers in my hair. Making all those dinners for people and leaving my kids in front of Dora. ALL DAY! (totally kidding btw)
C Jane.....I LOVE YOUR BLOG! I love that you write about your faith...our faith. I LOVE that you take humor in it at times. I know we have never met but I think of us as friends because we are totally Mormon. lol
I agree with a comment I read either on this post or the last....people just TRY to get offended when all in all, they just need to read and take it as YOUR post! YOURE blog!
TRUE TO THE FAITH...TRA LA LA LA

Camille said...

I wasn't going to read through the comments on yesterday's post, but I got sucked in! And the only thing running through my mind was what my mother constantly told us 8 bickering siblings while growing up,
"Can't we just all get along??"

Hugs to you cJane!

Mrs. Alston said...

I'm so sorry about the attacking you received on your earlier post. I totally respect your decision to disable comments. I also think that the last comment on the previous post was the best one you could have possibly ended on. A reminder to live and be like Christ. Our perfect example.
I really enjoyed your post and really look forward to learning more. Thank you!

(and for the record, I didnt think it was preachy at all! Just a really nice sweet story reminding us the importance of a church community, and that we are never alone!)

The DeLeary Family said...

It amazes me people would have complaints. Read and be happy if it's not for you read something else. I personally love hearing about your mormon faith. I was raised catholic and I'm always curious as to others people's faith and upbringing in it. I do know faith is very contraversial but, unless you are pushing devil worshipping seriously could it be that bad of a post. The best we can do is try to be happy and those people that are leaving nasty comments are obviously not happy people, hopefully one day they will be able to find joy in love and faith. Because if they were truly happy in there faith they wouldn't have to put yours down.

Heather said...

I sometimes pray about whether I should be a Mormom...and even though I am not yet, I feel that many times the answer is yes! I can feel the love and support of your family and your religion on your blog and many other blogs that I have found through your comments. In fact I would almost feel I am drawn to Mormonism....I don't think my Catholic husband would change, but it is something to think about.

If something happened to my husband, I would only hope that there were kind hearted PEOPLE of any religion that would come to my side!

Personally, I think there are so many hateful, unhappy people in this world that they would be happy to spill the venom on you (or anyone) if you said "Bunnies are cute..."

Of course, all just my opinion, and happily stated through our wonderful Freedom of Speech...

twechsel said...

I did not read yesterday's comments and I certainly don't think I will now because I don't have time for mean people, although possibly I should not comment today unless I have read those comments but I want to respond to you, as you care, although I have never commented on your blog before.

I find you to be a sweet, lovely woman who is smart, kind and an excellent writer. I feel that it is a nice thing that I get a glimpse into your life every day- a 5 minute peek while I am at work-and I can think I know you a little bit,you who are a stranger to me, one who I came across by accident but a voice that I think makes the world a nicer place. This is your blog and it seems to me that you are allowed to write anything you choose but for what it is worth I think what you write is generally funny and thought- provoking. I thought your post told a sweet story and I am sorry that it has come to sadness for you.

Stepper the Mighty said...

Dear CJane,

I love you. I do.

Just thought you should know.

Thank you for being brave - it's not easy to navigate through the hostile terrain of negative comments - especially regarding things so dear to your heart. BUT! I'll pass on some advice I was given years back regarding sharing the Truth: The Truth is the Truth, and your only job is to speak it as you know it. Your job is not to cater to the feelings of those who are quick to offense or looking for a fight.

Truth plain and simple, humbly given and with no apologies.

Because there are those who are ready to hear.

End of didactic advice. But please know that you have my support. I got your blogging back. And I can get scrappy, if need be.

Stepper

Wendi said...

The comments by Topher and especially Azucar cracked. me. up. You've got some fun family and friends behind you there, cjane. ;)

Wendi said...

That "Bishop of Mars" comment was funny too. And look how many people are influenced for good by these posts. Rock on, Cjane! :)

Confused, a little said...

I went back and I couldn't find any comment calling CJane fat or attacking her personally. I just saw a lot of discussion - some more passionate than others - but I didn't see any name-calling.

Were these comments deleted? I'm just asking.... It is sweet how everyone rushes in with kind words and support. But I'm confused about the name-calling. I didn't pick up on it. Or see it.

But it's nice to see all the love today!

JoAnne said...

It may be hard to read the angry comments but you should be laughing all the way to the bank!

Controversy = more comments = bigger blog traffic = more advertising $$$

Alli said...

Dear CJane,
I read your blog all the time! I never comment because you always have a million. My sister is Ms. Jones who is friends with your sweet angel sister stephanie. Our family loves your family and wish we lived next to you so we could be friends! You crack me up and you are my kind of people! I read some of the comments you had on that post about being a mormon blogger. I just couldn't believe some of the things people were saying. I just don't get why people can't live by the golden rule "if you don't have something nice to say, dont say anything at all!" I too have a strong testimony of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints and it just kills me why people have to say bad things about it. It is my whole life, and its hard for me not to take offense when people who don't understand some of our doctrine bad mouth it. I try to shrug it off but its hard. Its ok for people to ask questions but why not ask nicely? There is good in everyone. I know exactly what you were talking about. I just want you to know that you inspire me to be better every time I read your blog. Your whole family is amazing and I wish more people could be more like you. I just thought with all the negativity around you should know that you are AMAZING and never second guess yourself. Just know that you have made a difference in many peoples lives especially mine and keep on doing what your doing!

Laney said...

Long time reader, first time commenter. This post brought me out of lurkdom.

I am not ashamed to say that I adore you C! :-) Anon, rude comments are the worst, but unfortunately they happen.

Don't ever change. *big sideways Baptist hug*

K and K and kids said...

"Let us oft speak kind words to each other..."

Love your blog. Love all your postings. Love your religion (it's mine,too). Love you. Love it all.

Let's all spread the love.

KC Mom said...

I have read your blog for many months now and never commented.
But I just have to this time.
I have NEVER read an post of yours that was 'mormony' or pushy in any way. Your testimony is sweet and sincere. And you will ALWAYS have someone who will openly attack your testimony. It doesn't matter how hard you try to avoid it.
Now, I think if someone doesn't agree with your religion or your post, maybe they shouldn't visit your blog that day. Rather then attack, maybe they should come back when you are writing something they are interested in.
It just doesn't make sense to me that someone would say hateful things on a blog. A blog that they voluntarily visit.
If they disagree or have something hateful to say...why don't they just go post it on their own blog? All their negative comments do is make them come across as closed minded and frankly not your friend.
I appreciated Stephanie Marie's comment...."who cares what one calls their God". I mean really.

kentucky said...

Sure, I'd be happy to defend you today.

Camille said...

If my husband passed away, the last thing I would want would be a houseful of people asking how they could help. In an already overwhelming time, it would further overwhelm me.

The most respectful thing that can be done is to have someone with organizational skills and help at their disposal to ask the person in need what they need help with. That way, that person can get the help in they need, not just the help that others assume should be given.

On the other hand, bring on the casseroles. After all, it is much more productive to drop it all off at once, two fridge-fulls at a time, than come up with a schedule, regular visits to the individual who is struggling, and provide lasting support.

What it all boils down to is respect. Something that is seriously lacking in the comments section of the previous post.

Sus &amp; co said...

hi cjane -

it's brave of you to put out your ideas and beliefs so publicly, and i'm certain it's tough to read the angry responses.

i didn't respond yesterday mainly b/c i respect that you love your religion and it's a very defining part of who you are. still, it's not something i can understand having been raised very differently (agnostic yankee here, to use labels).

there are parts of the story you shared that i don't understand - mainly why capable, bright women (you, your mom and your neighbor) would need to call a man to help you decide how to help your neighbor when to me the answer is simple. why would it be any different b/c the family isn't mormon? even if you don't tap into the networks of your faith, bringing a casserole over or sending a card or flowers is still the neighborly thing to do. maybe i'm oversimplifying a cultural aspect of your faith, but it's confusing to me and perhaps instead of sparking confusion in others, it makes them insecure and it incites them to write angry emails.

what you wrote about was a very real moment where two cultures collided, but there was a measure of compassion inside the moment too. people who get angry about your beliefs just aren't confident enough in their own. we all share this earth, this country, this neighborhood. our religions should be a force that helps us to find compassion for other points of view.

i'm just sayin'

melissa

RobinCT said...

Always amused when people start arguing about religion. Seems like just the act of doing so means they're missing the point. Love your blog. You've completely knocked down my preconceived stupid notions about what Mormonism is. Thank you for the enlightenment. Keep writing.

Anonymous said...

I adore your blog
I adore your honesty
I adore all of your posts about religion
I am not Mormon & most likely never will be, yet there is nothing in your posts, ever that make me adore them any less, ever.
You husband is the smartest person I know, aside from my husband: "Chup who says next to manipulative posts, arguing over the internet is the most disdainful downfall of today's blogger. "

Julie said...

I really, really love reading your posts about LDS culture and faith. I hope that those meanies didn't scare you away yesterday!

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for sometime and look forward to it every morning. Let me first say this: I am not a mormon and likely will never be one, although I have had/do have friends that are mormon, I find it to be a non-issue. However, about a year and a half ago I stumbled into a network of blogs all written by mormon women which I found facinating for a number of reasons. More so recently when my mother passed away unexpectedly. Although I feel confident that I have friend and family who love me, I was surprised that I received nothing during this difficult time. No food, no cards, nothing much more than a phone call. As a young mother with a 3 year old trying to navigate the aftermath of death, it sure would have been nice to pop in a casserole that someone had dropped by to feed my son, without have to really think about dinner. All of this to say that I wish I had a community, or a network of folks looking out for me during my tough times and likewise, that I could help others during their tough times. It is something that I have given a lot of thought to as I read so much about it on the blogs that I frequent. Without the structure of the church, mormon or otherwise, I am not quite sure how to create one. I didn't read all of the comments to your original post, but it surprises me that there were some who didn't get "it".

Heather B said...

can't imagine not being secure enough in my faith -- or political opinions -- to be afraid of debate.

can't imagine blindly following religious prophets or teachers. Jesus taught us the dangers of that.

how in the world is arguing about it missing the point. I wish the LDS members argued a little more when their leaders were teaching that african americans were somehow less than.

I think it's a little weird that I never hear Mormons complain about anything in their religion. It's a unique trait imo. How on earth do you improve if you can't speak up?

Anonymous said...

I have to say that I didn't find anything offensive, self-righteous or that would elicit any other negative emotions for most people in your previous post. I think some people are determined to take offense when none is implied or intended. What a sad life to hate someone or something. Don't let that get you down, there are plenty of people that appreciate you and your talents.

The Iowa Farmer's Wife said...

Pthhhhh! (that's a big fat raspberry for negative comments). I'm also Catholic, but love reading about you and your family and your religion. The whole "fat" comment reminds me of Romy and Michelle's high school reunion when Michelle says,
"We are not the ones who got fat."
and the other girl says,
"We're pregnant you half-wit."
Definitely the response for this situation. :)

And you gotta love hiding behind the Anonymous tag on the internet.

And...because Dr. Suess knows best
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those you mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

dani said...

To "Kate" and "Confused, a little" and others who questioned about where some of the offensive comments were. Do you really think that the only feedback Courtney receives is from comments left on the blog? I am sure she gets a lot of email and I'm sure a lot of it can be hateful. Any blogger with a large following can tell you horror stories about emails they receive.

Jennifer said...

I think you rock and I still think that some of the stuff that showed up on your blog was not about you. It was about the people who were writing and your blog just provided the platform.

And though I agree that you could ask people not to take some of your blog too seriously, I also think that there is a lot of what you write that is beautiful and poignant and serious.

It takes a risk to blog and I admire your willingness to keep at it.

Anonymous said...

Its just I am having a hard time picturing any of moms neighbors wearing pearls? Sis Kjar? V.Graham?

-The boring one

Vera said...

Your last post reminded me of your friend's "Why you should have a mormon friend" series over at the Jet Set. :)

That is all I have to say about it!
Oh wait, and I love reading your blog!

emmyjay said...

I am not LDS (or any other religion) but I thought yesterday's post was a lovely glimpse into what it means to be part of a faith-based community. I imagine it took a lot of self restraint and bravery to craft a post like that and manage to create a tone free from judgement, but still openly celebrating your faith. In fact, I loved it. I think it was pretty much the bees knees.

dani said...

Heather B said...
can't imagine not being secure enough in my faith -- or political opinions -- to be afraid of debate.

can't imagine blindly following religious prophets or teachers. Jesus taught us the dangers of that.

how in the world is arguing about it missing the point. I wish the LDS members argued a little more when their leaders were teaching that african americans were somehow less than.

I think it's a little weird that I never hear Mormons complain about anything in their religion. It's a unique trait imo. How on earth do you improve if you can't speak up?


Your arrogance is astounding. A few brief points in response:

I am not afraid of debate, but please tell me why I need to debate my beliefs with anyone? Why can't I believe what I want to believe? Does it harm you in some way?

I don't blindly follow anyone. Maybe some do, but I don't.

You are very mistaken if you think LDS members have not discussed issues that concern them with their leaders.

Just because YOU have never heard Mormons complain about their religion doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I have lots of questions, concerns and things that I don't understand or don't like and I bring them up all the time to others within my church. But why would I discuss such things with people like yourself who already have their biases?

Please don't make assumptions, you really have no clue.

Anonymous said...

rock on CJane.

I am a devout Church of Christ-er who is strangely transfixed by mormon "mommy blogs." And yours is the best of them all CJane. I think we should be friends. Seriously.

Love the gold room---- divine!

Nikki said...

LDS *convert* and proud, CJane.
Peace, love, and keep up the good work. You and Steph are missionaries in the blogosphere, and I appreciate you. I want to sign up to feed you.

Shannon said...

When I was in college, I lived with a girl who was becoming a Mormon. She was not a very pleasant person and I associated being a Mormon with this girl...meaning I disliked the religion just because of her. I know, I know but I was young.

However, over the past few years, I have changed my mind. Why? Well because I have opened my mind a little bit more and now I can say I enjoy reading blogs written by Mormons. In fact, I feel like I have really come to respect the religion & all (that I know) that it stands for. So please, keep doing what you're doing and ignore those nasty comments. I enjoy hearing more about LDS and find it interesting.

Erin said...

Dear CJane,
My son died at 17. He was hiking with his best friend, who fell off of a cliff (but blessedly survived). Our handsome 6'4" funny, generous, loyal son took off running for help, and fell also. Our families live in the same ward. We had returned from China with our newly adopted daughter 12 days prior. We were inconsolable. Truly. Our ward poured every ounce of love from their hearts into ours. Still, 4 years later, they continue to hold us up at every turn. They express love for our son (for each of our other 4 children as well) constantly. I do not know why our experience has been different than some, but I also know for sure that it is just like that of many others... our ward is like a rock to us. Our faith has brought us enormous joy in spite of this agonizing loss. I can honestly say that we are truly happy, and I even believe that our other children would not be who they are, without having suffered this loss. Much of that is because of the way our ward has helped us to find our way. I feel incredibly sad that others do not have this experience when they so need it. I hope that I can be the rock to someone else, that our beloved ward members have been to us. We owe them, in many ways, the success of our family.Their charity has reminded me again and again how much our Heavenly Father loves me.

Stephanie said...

C Jane - this goes along with something I was reading/thinking about yesterday. With the hostility shown in some of the comments to your post yesterday (genuine in their opinions)comes the opportunity to do just what you are doing - share doctrines. I think we spend too much time trying to apologize for our religion and some of its peculiar doctrines that we forget to share.

I am reading an article that reminds me that sharing the peculiarities of our gospel is what will make people convert. If we appear to be just another Evangelical religion there is no reason to look seriously at the LDS doctrines.

I realize the converting people is not the purpose of your blog (at least I don't think it is) but opening a dialogue without being apologetic is the only honest thing to do with people who are genuinely interested. Even if they are only interested for the laugh factor. :)

Sara D. said...

Oh my. I blog all the time about my faith, because it is MY faith and MY blog. It's a part of who I am. And at the core of it all, I believe (and know) myself to be a pretty sinful, self-righteous and proud person. And guess what, that comes shining through in my blog too! I could try my hardest to write a blog that was perfect and righteous and pleasing...but I also know that I would fall short. And it would be untrue, and it would reveal NONE of my need for my Savior.

I am not a Mormon, but I love your blog and your words and the way you are real and relatable. Please don't ever change that, even if people are really terrible sometimes.

Wendi said...

And this one was awesome: "...I wish you were my neighbor because we would eat Samoas. But not Samoans, because Mormons are not cannibals, no matter how many YouTube videos there are..."

I simply cannot believe I read all of these comments two days in a row. How DO you do it? Amazing. :)

Amanda said...

Hi, I am a loyal CJane and Nie Nie reader, I'm also a loyal Catholic. Not to sound sappy, but it absolutely thrills me when I read about you and your family enjoying a close, loving relationship with your family and your saviour and being brave enough to share a testimony knowing what backlaksh it may induce. Thank you for your courage, and thank you for letting even one lost or lonely soul know that they could find a little hope.
To me, your post was a perfect demonstration of what Christ-like love is, unconditional. We as Christians should never think someone may not need our help simply because "their own churc" should take care of them.

Fresh Hell, Texas said...

It's funny but I think I understand where you're coming from because we are not a family of religious faith.

Sometimes people are rude but often they mean well and it's still hurtful.

For example, we are a military family. We have proudly served our country for over 20 years. I would it think that it would go without saying that we believe in things greater than ourselves but no.

The best thing, of course, is to keep the conversation going althought that's not as easy as it sounds. Thank you for being willing to do it.

Heather B said...

Well, I was specifically responding to another commenter who said they had faith in their prophets, full stop.

And while I appreciate that you ask questions within your church, you live in a larger community, you fund campaigns against the civil rights of others. So sorry, but you have some explaining to do.

Can you start with evolution? I've looked on the official site. I get a total non-answer. Or how about the belief than dark skinned people are more sinful. Can you agree that that doctrine was hateful, and sinful?

If you want to live in a closed community, you owe us nothing. But since you don't, then let's start talking. Call me arrogant. Tell me I don't have a clue but how in the world WOULD I have a clue when Mormons refuse to engage in dialogue?

I just can't get over... cannot get over .. let a Mormon won't step up and say, "Wow. Black people. Sinful? What were we thinking??"

Anonymous said...

Thank you for wanting to help a neighbor.

Fresh Hell, Texas said...

My own bias against Mormonism comes from the area of gay rights.

I have several friends that are former Mormons (I apologize if there is another word for that that is preferred) and their pain is hard on my heart.

It became even more personal when the Mormon church got so involved with Prop 8 in California, where my beloved son, who is gay, was born.

Everyone has a right to their religious belief, of course, but to try and curtail the rights of citizens in civil law? No, I cannot abide that.

My son is not a Mormon but he is an American. He will have the right to legally marry someday and I believe that the Mormon church and those like it will be looked at in the same light as the religious folks who tried to keep the laws that whites and blacks could not marry.

I have no idea if that will read like an attack to you because I surely do not mean it as one. I'm speaking from my mother's heart, from my American heart.

Andrea said...

I'm a fairly new reader to the blog, and I love it!

You are hilarious, beautiful, original and an inspiration to me!

Patience said...

Religion is personal - and of all things, our belief in something larger than ourselves should be one of the most personal things. I don't particularly care what religion people are, or what they call their God (or gods), or what they believe, or what they practice.

However, I think that EVERYONE should believe in something larger than themselves, whether they call it religion or science. I believe that EVERYONE should have the right to believe in this something bigger, regardless of the name it goes by, and on that token, that EVERYONE should respect not only the right to choose, but the actual choice. If it doesn't pour sour milk on my Wheaties, then to each their own.

Some things about religion I will never understand...For instance, at what point am I "Christain" enough to determine who God hates? (I'm looking at you Pat Robertson) Does such a responsonsibility require a non-profit status and a tax shelter?

And when it is okay to use my religion as a Weapon of Mass Destruction? Because I think I'm behind the curve here...

I might not be a expert on the Bible, but I seem to remember some messages from the Bible that are often forgotten (rather hard to believe, since they are the simple ones).

Love thee neighbor (doesn't say anything about loving only thee white, straight, Christain neighbor with the killer pool).

Judge not, lest thee be judged (though I have a sneaky suspicion that it's still okay to judge thee American Idol contestants).

Anyway - That's a lot of words to say ROCK ON C JANE. Cause what I got out of that post yesterday is that it's about helping out our neighbors, regardless of their beliefs. And if everyone would take a moment to reach out to those in need...What a wonderful world this would be.

Anonymous said...

I'm one of the lurkers who finally wrote earlier today - I like anonymous comments b/c I am too lazy to create my own blog. I'm sure there is an easy way to sign up otherwise but I am not that up on things...so maybe moderate, if it comes to a choice?

There are a lot of us who support you and I think it's nice for you guys to read about us....so you are not always wondering "hmmm, what do they think.." You always get good with the bad, unfortunately.

I think peple certainly have the right to their own opinions but if by doing so you are hurting another human (regardless of sex, race, religion, etc) then shame on you. Opposing views are one thing - it makes the world go round...being outright mean to another person is just uncalled for.

Kindergarten people...remember we all learned this in Kindergarten.
~Jackie

Susan said...

Hi Cjane,
I am appreciate how writing about your faith can be a very sensitive and tender thing. That being said, I wouldn't describe the majority of responses to your post yesterday as attacking and those who do may have to look at their own willingness to engage in dialogue. a lot of people (not you!!) enjoy feeling like the victim especially if they can martyr themselves to their faith. if someone is asking for further clarification on topics of the mormon faith (not from a website, but from individual believers) they WANT to listen, to learn. Calling them mean does nothing build respectful communication.

Neurotic Atty said...

I'm not Mormon; I'm Catholic (a Catholic who went to a small Protestant school IN THE SOUTH...where Catholics are not considered Christians), so I hear you on the whole "how do you explain your religion in 15 minutes thing." I just went back and read the post...and I don't get what the big deal is. Where's the offensive, small-minded part? Oh, and I'm not reading the comments to said post because it's Friday evening, and I don't like to get frustrated and aggravated by ignorance on Friday evenings.

Lisa said...

I just can never understand why anyone who doesn't like another's religion, why they just don't change the channel? This isn't rocket science people..Don't come to da' blog.

Anonymous said...

Here, I have an opposing view...not to create drama on the comments section, but I am straight, white and a woman who is married to a man and we have a family. No religious upbringing and don't currently follow a religion now. I have a gay brother in law and I Love, Love, Love him.

I don't believe he has the right of marriage to a man. Shoot me. I don't. And you want to know a funny thing? Neither does he! We spend much time discussing this topic and just like not every married woman feels x, y and x...neither does every gay man!

We both agree domestic partnership, civil union, whichever, is a good thing and needed (to have joint lives and commitment, life insr. and health ins.etc.). But Marriage is not something he feels should be a man and man or woman and woman.

So, to generalize and say EVERY mormon thinks this or EVERY catholic thinks that...is Wrong! If every Catholic followed the beliefs (that they are supposed to)in not using birth control,......well, I guess we can say that that is not followed by every Catholic, right? So, why would being a Mormon mean everyone thought the same? Cjane puts herself out there and straddles a fine line to not piss people off. Maybe sometimes her opinion is not posted for all to read, flip out and comment on. Because think about it - if she posts one way, a group comes to challenge her, and if she posts another...the other group does. Just a little something to think about.

Elizabeth said...

I love you. My feeling is that you are a woman who wrestles with and seeks understanding in matters of faith. we come from all faiths -- and I appreciate your willingness to start talking about your own struggles within your church. I, personally, am not interested in hearing about anyone's faith unless its something they've come to through personal experience and testing. I know their are plenty of faithful (mormon and non) who believe what they are told to believe, but I know you are not one. You are too strong for that, and that is why so many of your readers want to hear you.

thorney said...

Courtney, I thought yesterdays post was sincere, gracious and heartwarming and showed one of the nurturing factors in the LDS church.

I was really quite shocked at al the negative comments from anan commenters--speaking of whic why can't they use their names? I can hardly imagine you running to heir blog to attack them in a tit-for-tat manner. You are far to gracious and mature to do that.

I do look forward to your sharing more about ofaith that keeps me coming to yur blog every day-yu are a huge inspiration to me.

It was written by you and you've always been open about being LDS, so what was the hug shock from people.

I loved it.

dandee said...

I love you cjane. Just wanted you to know.

Diana said...

It is very scary to be upfront about your own religion sometimes. As my favorite poet says, "The best laid plans of mice and men most oft time go astray."

As human beings we all self ascribers, whether we want to be or not. We like to find our own personal truths in the works of other artists, musicians, and writers. I applaud all of the amazing women (AND men!) of all faiths who can read the experiences of others with a spirit of learning; those who do not condemn people on the spot for the flawed actions of other individuals. I think we will never be able to truly come together as a community in any sense, until we can speak respectfully and listen peacefully to one another. Thank you c jane, your blog is always uplifting, and I feel it would be that way no matter what differences lay between us.

Chips and Salsa with Beans said...

What, no picture of your green feet? I come here for the photos (not really but I do like them, I really do).

I read the post yesterday and actually sympathized because when my father died I had just started going to church again and I don't know what my mother and I would have done without the R.S.. I was thinking about reading the comments and changed my mind. Now I'm glad I didn't read them.

Back to the marker...check out what my son did with his favorite green marker. My favorite part is the lovely curly cues on the top of his feet and on each knee:

http://asideofbeans.blogspot.com/2009/01/never-dull-moment.html

Kebeni said...

well I love all your posts regardless of your religion or my lack of religion. I hope my opening comment yesterday wasn't taken as being critical but more of the observation that it was meant to be. I am shocked at the response your post got. still trying to work out how a lady dying turned into a debate on gay marriage but hey perhaps it could become a game of six degress.......

Taylor Norris said...

Hey CJane, I wanted to say thanks for sharing your life on a blog, and thanks for doing what I believe to be even more difficult than that; making an epilogue to a post.

Hey all readers, I am a Christian (Anglican for those who care) and I wanted to point out that while I do not agree with the LDS doctrine at all, we should all remember that blanket statements are neither true nor helpful. That's why blogging is so nice, we get real views into real peoples' unique lives as they chose to share--would you read blogs if it weren't for this?

AMB said...

I love your blog. I love you. I love your family. I love your new gold room. Don't worry about the haters. Some people just need something to gripe about.

Christine said...

Your post shows the value of belonging to a community network - I think the offended commentors would not have been so, if you had taken the mention/explanation of Mormonism out of it...but could you? Not really - because the dominant community in your area is LDS. And you shouldn't be compelled to sensor your posts - it's your space afterall.

The LDS church has a fantastic system in place for taking care of things. If you look up the history of the 1986 Teton Dam collapse in Rexburg, ID you'll find that the church took care of everything. Even though FEMA was called in and it was considered a National Emergency just like the hurricanes that take out the East coast yearly - the LDS community in Rexburg had things under control before FEMA even showed up.

Shame on anyone for thinking that Courtney was writing this to show how LDS are any better or more organized than another faith. And shame on those who chose to invoke the "helples women" dialogue. The bishop of a ward, just as any pastor or high priest has a great responsibility to arrange for matters to be taken care of in times of need...not that the women can't do it - but that calling the bishop is just the protocol. The pearl twiddling women in this post were bringing a NEED to his attention. Of course they would be leaving the house very quickly to help Mr. Whitehouse, whether the bishop communicated with them or not. And if Mr. Whitehouse said everything would be taken care of by the Baptist faith he belongs to, the LDS community would still be there for support in whatever capacity is needed.

I am a former LDS member. For various reasons related to doctrine I have chosen not to raise my family in the LDS faith. I have my issues with the church, but respect anyone no matter what their faith (except Marilyn Manson...not sure on that one - but hey, Alice Cooper is Christain and he's in my "community" so maybe Marilyn and I could be friends too!).

I miss the network. I miss the community - they are very good at it...and that's all Courtney was trying to say - that she's impressed and the "everyday's of her faith."

La Yen said...

Azucar--I have a testimony of black beans in my quesadillas. But you have to smash them a tiny bit so they don't fall out.
Amen.

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