Steph with Ever
Before my beloved sister left for Arizona to blow up the balloon in her back, I asked her to write down ten tips for a mother with a new baby. I need all the help I can get--and she is a four-time--two boys, two girls--motherhood-certified professional.
Here is her response:
Ten things to/not do when a new babe comes into the mix:
I have had 4 children. With each pregnancy and delivery, I have learned a few tricks. I also get the goods on certain secrets from my mother who had 9 children and my mother-in-law who had 11.
So, as I blog for my sister Cjane, I share with you 10 tips to do (or not) with a new little one.
10. Babies are babies- they are not little adults. Please don’t dress them as one. One example comes to mind: Babies who are under 6 months (at the very least) shouldn’t wear jeans. They still sleep very often and there is nothing more that I hate than sleeping in Jeans. Soft, cotton and cuddly are my 3 guidelines.
9. I love my babies in soft, soothing colors. Nothing bright and distracting. You need all the peace you can get. Just like you want to paint your bedroom a color that calms and de-stresses you, babies should be dressed the same.
8. Breastfeed! (if possible, of course.) And, pretend you’re the baby. What would you like and enjoy? Chances are your baby will too (i.e.: sleeping, eating, held close, sung too and so on)
7. Wrap. Wrap babies tightly in a lightweight swaddling cloth. They seem happier and it helps the baby feel secure. But, be sure to know when babies need some time to be unwrapped to kick and coo.
6. Ask your husband and other children to help. I asked my older children to help wash binkies, help lather lotion on baby after the tub and pick out babies clothes. They seem to enjoy that task because it helps them feel like a part of the excitement.
5.Sing. I have the worst voice in the world. My baby doesn’t care, and loves to hear me sing. Heck, if Cjane can sing and her babies like it, then so can I! Sometimes, I make up songs and tunes as I go. After baby is asleep you can tell your husband the awesome song you just made up and laugh your head off.
4. Buy a couple of nice button down shirts. They are easy to nurse in, and functional. But, be sure to buy flattering ones make you feel and look beautiful.
3. Rocking chair. A mother MUST have a rocker. It is a age old classic and natural soother. It helps baby settle down and it creates a bond that mother (and Dad) can have with baby.
2. Stay home. My favorite time is after my babies are born when I can just stay home enjoying cuddling, and nursing baby. I was never in a hurry and planned to run my errands when Christian was home. That way baby can nap when he wants and you are low stress. Plus, putting baby in and out of that darn car seat, asleep no less, is the worst.
1. Thank God for your sweet heaven-sent baby everyday!
c jane's Guide to Provo:
from heaven to hell
dear c jane today:
blue dress, blue shoes, blue moon
(without the blue moon)
contact me:
cjanemail@gmail.com
80 Pieces of Opinion:
Wonderful. I love Steph's tips, all of them. You two are so lucky to have one another to lean on...
Hope the procedure in AZ goes well and she's home in Utah again (nearby you and her new little niece) very soon.
Beautiful!!
I must disagree. Infant jeans are the most adorable things on the planet. I WILL dress my children in them.
At #1 I read heaven-scent(ed) first. So true, too. Still giggling.
Greetings from Germany, Ursula.
I love all of these tips. I especially loved the last one you gave, it reminded me of a quote by President Hinckley which I discovered not long after I had my first baby:
"And I don't hesitate to promise you that the day will come, if you nurture your children and love and teach in righteousness, you will get on your knees with tears in your eyes and thank the Lord for his blessing you".
So true.
Love the tips! After dealing with a sick 4 year old all night (the two year old slept through at least), a new baby to cuddle would be just the thing. Since I'm already not sleeping and all...
Oh my goodness, I thought I was the only one who felt the same way about infant clothes and soothing colors for baby. So glad to see there is another like mind out there!
I sure wish someone had told me about button down shirts when I was nursing my first baby. I would have stocked up and been set for all three of my babies.
I've often wondered how a baby could ever be comfortable in baby jeans... all that sweet, soft, chubby skin and that unforgiving denim elastic and the cold buttons.
Thanks for the tips Stephanie. I read every post that you and Cjane blog :)
I don't know as if I'd use the tips when I'm not a mother with a new baby, but I wanted to comment because Nie's blog doesn't allow it.
Thanks for your posts during the weeks, Steph, I look forward to seeing your musings in my reader. Keep on, girl!
Beautiful list Stephanie and well thought out.
I will definitely save a copy in case I have children of my own some day :o)
What I like the most about this is the chance - FINALLY - to leave a comment on something that Stephanie has written! ; ) Thanks for the tips and especially the point about the jeans. I'd never thought about it that way before - they ARE cute but I'd hate to sleep in mine and possibly my babes feel the same!
Hope it's all going well in Arizona.
Sweet! I have 5 and I totally agree with all 10 tips. Tip #11 - Don't sweat the small stuff, enjoy the little things! God bless you sisters!
I agree baby jeans look ridiculous and can in no way be comfortable.
Especially if you are swaddling them - which babies LOVE.
I 100% agree about no jeans and "adult clothes" on babies. They not only look dumb and trashy but it's kind of mean. You babies sweet sensitive skin should be soothed by the softest most natural fabric you can find. I think people think they look cool, but highend lines sell layette for babies for a reason.
No doubt jeans are adorable on babies, but Nie Nie was advising to put the comfort of baby first. Not making a fashion statement. We all know babies can't say, "Hey, those jeans are pinching my chubby little legs. Help!"
Soft, cuddly clothes are always best for baby.
Great list of advice. I especially love #1.
I am grateful to be a mother.
Congrats to CJane on the birth of baby Ever.
Good luck with your procedure Nie Nie. I hope all goes well.
AMEN to dressing babies as babies and kids as kids!
I love number ten. Absolutely. Babies should be dressed for THEIR comfort, not for our visual pleasure. My first baby girl was constantly dressed to the nines in all kinds of darling outfits, poor thing. The other three mostly stayed in soft sleepers - even at church.
For me, number two would've made me crazy. I always start feeling much more normal and human when we get OUT of the house.
We all have our "things" with little babies. I'm with Stephanie on no jeans for babes, all softness and letting their little legs be able to feel eachother. I don't use baby bjorns because I hate the so much that babies little legs are splayed apart when its not natural. I wouldn't want to hang with all that weight on my butt and my legs just dangling like that. Really, I HATE the idea for my babies. I feel like CRYING thinking about it. How silly is that?
I too am the mother of four children, two boys and two girls, and I couldn't agree more with Nie Nie's tips on dressing little babies. Babies are babies, they need to be comfy and warm. They have their entire life to wear jeans. My rule is I try not to put them in jean too often until they start walking. I have early walkers (nine months) so this usually works out pretty well for me and my babies.
Dear Nie,
I know that you would never put your baby in one of those AWFUL bows from the University mall, either. Or from the plethora of craft shows in this valley. Thank goodness for soft, cotton, and cuddly.
love,
Me
Babies in jeans make me think of potty-training toddlers in overalls. Nothing cuter than overalls on a three year old, but SOOO impractical.
My youngest is six . . . I miss the baby days.
Ooo, baby style is a hot topic! I think it's kinda funny that someone described babies wearing "adult clothes" as "trashy." ...really? Trashy babies? How is that even possible?
I think baby jeans and sweaters are adorable and will probably dress my babies in them. The one baby trend that makes me die a little inside is those trendy headbands for girls where the bow or flower is larger than the baby's head. To me, THAT is bordering on cruel.
Anyway, we all view babies as little accessories in one way or another. Lucky for them, they're precious and cute no matter what we do to them.
Beautifully said! I also have four children, and I agree with each and every helpful hint (and yes, jeans on little babies are NO FUN - I tried ONCE with my first baby, and he fussed)! ;)
I love the quote commenter Louise wrote from President Hinckley - it brought tears to me eyes.
I so agree about the mini-adult clothes. It just doesn't feel right to me. Bright colours jar against freshly-born skin. There will, Lord willing, be years ahead for grown-up clothes. I treasure the too-short babyhoods and protect them. They don't come back, though new and wonderful stages follow.
Blessings and all good things to Nie and Cjane, both.
I am also a mother of 4, my most recent born Feb 27th, 7 weeks early! I found out while Brynlee was in the NICU that wrapping them in a blacket tightly not only makes them feel secure but it is also good for their little muscle tone! They push against the inside of the blankie like they do the inside of the womb and it strengthens them!! Plus comforts them as well!!! I love all of Steph's tips!! She is right on! `Love you Steph and Cjane!!! I was thinking about #10 as I was up every hour with my newborn cause she had her shots yesterday and oh poor baby!!! But like my MIL says, you'd rather them have the shot than the disease, and I totally agree!!!! Good luck with everything Steph you and Cjane continue to be in my prayers!!!
Stephanie, you don't allow comments (smart girl) and I never bother to email. I sit in my empty classroom during prep period and procrastinate things like grading for a few minutes to check my choice blogs. Yours (and cjane's) are always there. Your words and thoughts and pure love and goodness always ground me. Thank you for reminding me to always thank God for everything. I don't have my babies (yet--I hope) but I have so much to be grateful for. So thank you. You inspire me! And have made this single girl utterly baby hungry once again. (I'll find someone's baby to love on--no worries!)
Amen to all of those. One more I would add is listen to yourself. You are the Mama and you know best what your baby needs.
Great list Stephanie!
Great advice!
I like jeans. I don't feel bad about putting them on my new babies because they can't roll around, they just lay there. In the end, no matter what they wear, they all end up okay.
Hail wrapping tightly. My sister in-law's sister is lame and says that wrapping babies hurts them. Really? Did it also hurt when they were in tight quarters for 9 months?
I love Stephanie's simple and sweet tips! My favorite swaddling blanket is the Miracle Blanket. Hands down the only swaddler for babies that like to try to get their arms free. It saved my sanity. :)
www.miracleblanket.com
I LOVE kids in bright colors! Stripes! Whatever. I am so grateful for Baby Gap and the like who let me dress my kids in bright colors.. especially for people with kids of color.
You can have the pastels!
That was wonderful! I agree on the jeans.
I love all your tips for keeping a baby comfy, cozy, well fed, and well loved :) & was so happy to see on your own blog that the "hunchie" expansion procedure went well!!
Stephanie I too want to take this rare opportunity to say "I love ya!"
As for all the comments I think it is so funny that we all have such strong opinions about how to dress our babies :)! I guess the Mama Bear Syndrome even applies to clothes!
P.S. The swaddling thing is SO TRUE! I loved my Miracle Blankets too!
I for one LOVE baby jeans and LOVE bright colors. I think babies look cheesy in full on winnie the pooh cotton onesie and pant outfits or rompers. Thank goodness for stores like Old Navy that make it possible to dress your baby both stylishly and comfortably!
totally agree with swaddling...we lovingly call it a baby burrito!
my favorite tip was about making up songs and then telling your husband about the song later and "laughing your heads off". my husband and I do this ALL THE TIME! glad to see we're not the only ones.
nice tips. (love you steph)
to each his own, but remember how a baby is dressed says a lot more about the mama/mama's pref.s than the baby. babies are beautiful; some are just over dressed. I was a HUGE fan of the old navy layettes back in the day. they had the sweetest, softest jammies with matching hats and blankets in darling prints (often gender neutral) and so well made, they lasted through five or six kids! *SIGH* (ok, I am cracking myself up now, getting sentimental about baby clothes!) another *SIGH*
congratulations, kendricks. she is so lovely.
Amen to all the tips! So now I will go cuddle and kiss my beautiful youngest baby boy (3 months old), nurse him and then cuddle him some more. I'm in baby heaven, it's the sweetest place to be! No baby jeans allowed in our house by the way. Bleh.
Good to see project Hunchie going well. You are the queen of awesome, Stephanie!
I one one month-old identical twin boys (and a two year-old) and I agree with EVERY SINGLE THING that Nie wrote. Congrats, Courtney and Nie - I pray that you can have another baby someday not too far away. You are an amazing mother.
Thanks for encouraging those who can breastfeed to do so! It is a wonderful bonding time between mom and babe.
Love ya Nienie
I have to disagree with the jeans thing. We're a horse family and Levi's go with the barn, which goes with the horses. My boys were so adorable in their little jeans :) Too cute!
My husband played the guitar and sang to our children every night as part of bedtime. We still talk about this.
---Mari
I like soft and comfortable for babies and I like baby jeans...And I found the best of both worlds!
MY FIRST LEVIS!!! They are made with soft fabric that babies love and look super cute at least I think so. They look like real jeans but are soft.
I love my baby and that is the most important thing anyway. Jeans, No jeans, bottle or breast, C-Section, Vaginal, Adoption. Home or Hospital. None of it really matters!
Love your babies treat them like gold! And treasure every moment.
#9 and #10 are perfect advice. I also love the tips to dress baby as a baby. So sweet.
I do disagree with wearing button-down shirts ... too much to fiddle with. I like a nursing tank under a knit top instead.
Stephanie ... you're in my prayers!
I agree with and LOVE everything on this list. I sure wish I had known the value of some of them with my first baby rather than my third and fourth. But I must make a confession alluding to another omment here. I LOVE BOWS. I finally have a baby girl after three boys and I cant get enough bows. And big flowers on those headbands! I love, love, love, love baby flowers and bows! Someone here said that theres all kinds of craft shows with bows for sale in Utah. I live in Ca and have no such amazing thing! Oh man do I love bows. Cjane, I hope you have at least one bow, bow that baby up!!! (or not :)
Love the list. And as a new mom I agree with fellow commenter, Kim. Go with your gut. Sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing but as my baby's mom I am the most capable of understanding my baby's cries. So don't let others tell you your wrong when your heart tells you what's right.
Good luck in AZ. It's getting hot here.
Perfect advice! I completely agree with everything. Jeans on tiny babies just looks miserable! Comfort first I say, they are newborns! Not models. :) I had never thought about the Bjorn before that anonymous comment mentioned but it makes such sense! Especially when they are so so tiny. Thanks Nie Nie and CJane!
The jeans tip made me smile because someone once gave me a pair of tiny jeans for my newborn. They weren't really adult--they had pink gingham on the cuffs and flowers on the leg & a matching jacket.
So adorable, but she wore it ONCE for a half-hour trip to the doctor. When we got home, I put her back into her soft sleeper. If I ever get to use them again on another baby girl, I think I'll put them on her just to take a picture!
I SO love the jeans comment...who wants a waist band on that big old soft tummy at that age? And that also goes for fancy dresses for newborns, infant shoes and tiny stiff jean jackets. Soft cuddly terry pj's, Carters, ...my favorite for babies.
I also have a thing about skulls and crossbones on infant clothing...barf.
that is funny everyone has there own stuff i guess. i have four kids too but i love the brightest clothes possible!
God bless and good luck. Sounds like you have a wonderful support system and lots of wisdom to access. I really want to be a Mommy someday, even though I will have to adopt. Thank you for the inspiration. xoxo
Nie, you are all kinds of awesome.
No jeans, I agree. And no denim mini-skirts on newborns either!
Melissa xx
Stephanie I totally agree with the no jeans on babies..I teach preschool and most people now dress their babies in little adult clothes. It makes them look less babyish, and why would you want that!
Am I the only mom whose kids refused to stay swaddled? They would kick and squirm and wiggle and flail their arms and do anything they could to get out of the blanket? All 4 of my kids did this. Swaddling didn't last long at my house.
Am I also the only mom who dresses her babies in whatever happens to be clean? Sometimes that means uncomfortable jeans, if that's what someone gave you and it's the only semi-appropriate thing for your baby to wear.
Maybe my husband was on to something when he said being domestic wasn't really my thing . . .
Jessica...I think you are hilarious! I agree...clean clothes are good clothes :) I have to say, with my first 2 kids (boy/girl), I dressed them all cute all the time, with my second 2...I just couldn't stand the thought of them being uncomfortable. LOTS of jammies going on around here :) I do like baby jeans (I think they are cute), but have a real thing about my baby's comfort too...so they have to be soft, not tight and I usually take them off when they are napping. My kids hated being swaddled after the first week or so, but I loved it in the very beginning...and YAY! for nursing (though I am more of a nursing tank kind of gal) :)
I love Steph's tips and I'll be sure to remember them when I have a baby :)
WHY OH WHY are we judging each other's mothering, especially here on CJane's blog??
Why do we have a mom using the word "trashy" to describe other's baby outfits??
Why do we have a mom doubting her domestic skills because she didn't swaddle and used baby jeans??
As I read these comments, I can't help but think of CJane's recent post about the collective power of estrogen and the good things that come out of it.
(http://blog.cjanerun.com/2010/02/never-underestimate-collective-power-of.html) Where is this supportive sisterhood?? Is this really the same blogging corner I enjoy visiting so much??
I appreciate NieNie's advice and believe wholeheartedly they came from a sweet, compassionate, loving place in her heart. And everyone has their own, unique baby fashion sense, it's true! But it hurts my heart to see all the judgement being thrown around. Yikes!
So, let's cheer for all the mothers who sing and love and nurture their babies in the best way they know how!! ***applause, applause***
All of your tips were fabulous - I just wish I'd had the internet 10 years ago when I had my first one, or anytime after that for the other 3. I am unable to have any more children naturally, but both my husband and I are looking forward to one day adopting/fostering more children, so these tips will be kept in mind. :)
My daughter had jeans given to her that had the soft, cuddly cotton on the inside, with cutsie ruffles and frills on the outside. The wasteband was a soft cotton, too, so it wasn't at all like adult jeans. She only wore them once, since I was too lazy to dress her up in anything other than onsies; she had bad reflux and I ended up changing her several times a day (who wants to wash 6+ complete outfits a day when you can settle for a onsie??). I'd love to have stayed home all day with my last two kids when they were infants, but the older two had to be driven to/from school each day, so my boys both had to get used to the 45 min round trip twice a day. It was terrible the first week, but they eventually got used to it. Poor boys. :)
PS (As if this comment wasn't long enough!) Thanks, Stephanie, for introducing me to CJane's blog, and for your daily posts. They help me to stay grounded and help remind me to be a better mom (more patient, humble, accepting, loving, fun). May Heavenly Father's blessings rest upon you always. You are a choice daughter of God and you are obviously full of love. Thank you for your example. :)
love the post! i always avoid button-up shirts with nursing. why?=) sounds like your family is full of wise mothers.
I'd love to add one more - don't pierce your daughter's ears. It really bothers me to see little babies with their ears pierced. Why rush so much at once? Let them just be babies, because we all know how fast it really does go.
I just want to comment on that GREAT picture of Steph and Ever....Gosh she looks good. I just love her smile and there is such a twinkle in her eyes. You are one lucky sister to have such an amazing sister.... I love her blog and just wish I could comment on it. However she would probably get sick of hearing from me. I am one of her biggest fans. God bless all of you.
Raleigh, N.C.
These tips sound good. Being a mother in the future has been popping up constantly for me the last few months......I think someone is trying to tell me something.
Thank you! Happy Thursday!
I have only been reading CJane for a short time, but I love your blog! I have been reading NieNie forever, and it's awesome too!
I love this list. It is exactly what I would have written in my top ten. I miss having a baby to cuddle. Enjoy your new baby! They grow way too fast!
I do agree about the jeans- funny how that's the big controversy. I thought it would have been the breastfeeding.
In addition to making sure that the clothes are soft and comfortable on the outside, I always felt around on the inside to make sure that there were no scratchy seams. Some clothes are soft outside and have ridiculously stiff seams inside.
I would have to add one to the list: accept your baby's personality. I took it really personally when my thrid baby came along and he was a total pill. I felt like it was some sort of fault in my mothering skills that made him such a grump. I was in total denial and made all sorts of excuses for him. I didn't want people to think that I caused his sensitive personalty.
When I had my sixth baby, he was super colicky but by then I knew it wasn't because of me. I was able to accept and love him for who he was and didn't feel like I had to make excuses. I didn't try to explain it away ("oh, he's just tired"). I knew the colicky stuff passes quickly (even though it doesn't seem like it at the time!) Sure enough, once he got to be about ten months old, the grumpiness lifted. Now he's three and is an absolute delight.
I'm glad I could just let him be who he was without feeling like I had to compete for "world's best baby" in the Mom Olympics.
My babies are always too fat for cute pants. My sisters babies look darling in their "baggy" little cargo pants. Mine just look ridiculously uncomfortable, especially in the crouch. Just busting out all over the place. One piece pajamas are a staple, so cozy. Then I had my 5th and first girl. I couldn't help it, it was just too fun dressing her up. I had to take Stephanie's advice from long ago...fashion over comfort! I couldn't resist the skinny jeans. Don't worry though, only if we were out on the town...never around the house (which is where we usually are). Thanks for the tips.
Oh, I totally agree on the baby jeans. Poor children being stuffed into uncomfortable stiff denim. :)
I just wanted to let you know how much I love your and your sisters blog. I have been following Steph's blog for years now, and feel like I know your family and feel their struggles. I love you guys!
I just had my second baby, (2 weeks ago) and was excited to read your guide.
I have to laugh at all the comments, there are a lot of head strong women out there huh! What ever your fashion desire is for baby....go with it...but the flowers bigger than babies heads are....LOL so funny! it makes you look at the flower and not the baby! I laugh whenever I see a flowerheaded baby! PS I love Steph (AKA NieNie) and glad you can relay all of these messages to her. She doesn't have a comment spot. Tell her, so many people are in love with her wonderful spirit!
There lots of soft baby jeans that can be used once in a while. They do look very cute and bright happy colors are nice if they are appropiate outfits for babies.I dont think the clothes tips were important enough to be mentioned on your list. I am sure theres more deeper and helpful mommy wisdom within you and hopefully we ll get more chances of reading them
Wonderful advise Nie Nie! When my kids bring my grand babies over the first thing I do is take the jeans or denim overalls off the baby. The poor little baby's leg are all stiff and unable to bend in the denim.
Good luck Nie Nie with your current medical procedures. We're rooting for you!
Congratulations Courtney on your beautiful baby girl, Ever. Love her name!! I'd like to send you a gift. Should I send it to the address on Nie Nie's blog?
Hugs,
Cathi
♥♥♥ Nie Nie and C-Jane.
I just have to laugh because the negative comments say "anonymous" funny funny funny!
Great advice...especially with breastfeeding!!!!
Like others, I think the advice on clothing was a little lacking in the "good motherly advice department". To each their own. I absolutely LOVE infants in denim, and I have read that babies are stimulated in a positive way by bright colors, I love bright colors, and I think infants look adorable wearing them!
Hi Steph...I'm waving from Australia! Yes I'm excited to be able to comment on something that you've written - and of course now I'm stuck for words. Thank you for sharing your tips. Like everything you write it's honest and heartfelt. I think this comment under breastfeeding needs it's own section "...pretend you’re the baby. What would you like and enjoy?". Precious wisdom darlin girl. My love to you across the miles. And CJ your little one is perfection. Thank you for sharing with us. Love to you.
oh, I love it. Excellent post! I am near to shaking wanting my baby to come already!!! :) Thanks for the reminders! It's funny the things you forget about newborns when you've been in toddler/preschooler/kid mode for so long. ;)
I love it! Great post!
I have a blog about breastfeeding: http://milkingtheissue.blogspot.com/
I think that these are great tips to use. Sometimes when it comes down to toddlers making the right choices is always best. I know that when it comes down to potty training toddlers - the right steps needs to be taken. The Potty Training Toddlers Mom
Great tips, thanks
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