Sunday, October 31, 2010

To Mom & Dad in St. Louis: Halloween

It happened, that Halloween night. And it was crazy in the Green Room.








The Chief was Teddy Rosevelt from his Rough Rider days. Ever Jane was a genie. I don't know where we come up with this stuff.



Of course, it wasn't the same without you.



One Halloween down, two more to go!

Haunted hearts,
Courtney & Family





Making the blog tour (and you can still enter October's Motherlode!)



  


I am Courtney Kendrick and we took The Chief trick-or-treating to only one house because it was raining. We got Raisinets. What are those chances?
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Friday, October 29, 2010

When the Dead Return to the Earth


Something eerie happened to me yesterday. Well, it happened a couple weeks ago, but I just discovered the incident while going through some family photographs.

Ok, I will tell you (because suspense can actually kill you).

My family and my friends were unknowingly followed by spirits in downtown Provo.

And here is the proof.








At this writing there are 730 entries, but don't let that deter you from entering into October's Motherlode giveaway. You deserve it.







I am Courtney Kendrick and I'm gettin' out of here . . . 

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Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Piano


Charles Dickens sits atop our piano. He was made out of an imperfect mold in a bust factory on Staten Island. His misshapen base gives way to instability. Whenever I play the piano with any sort of gusto Dickens bobs his head slightly so, with approval, I'd like to think anyway.

On the night of October 23, I played a song before bedtime, a nightly ritual for our house. I opened my old hymnal and found Nearer My God to Thee an anthem written at the same time Mr. Dickens was writing his best books. Before I started I winked to him. Then I played with passion. He nodded as I pounded out the tune, his angular beard back-and-forthing as I went. When the last note was softly let go, I closed the heavy piano lid so that little fingers couldn't ruin our old instrument. It closed with its usual loud thunk. Then, I turned off the living room lights and hurried off to put my children and myself to bed.

Some time in the middle of the early morning on October 24 I woke up in my bed. I could hear someone downstairs playing the piano. At first it was a few sullen notes of the deep keys, one or two notes, back and forth. Because of hearing loss in my right ear, I cocked my head in the opposite direction. To be sure, I was hearing what I thought I was hearing. Someone was in my living room playing the piano.

Then there was a song.

I couldn't quite follow along. The tune was melancholic, sweet and sad. A somber sense floated out of the piano and up into my room where I sat up entranced. With lethargy clouding my mind, the song started seducing my sanity. I became concerned as though the music was pulling at me, trying to get me to follow its source. What was it?

The haunting notes of Moonlight Sonata?

No, that wasn't it.

Perhaps the softness of Clare de Lune?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I listened harder. My head dropped to my shoulders, ears astute, discernment deciding.

Was it . . .?

Could it be . . .?  

No, I thought, this isn't happening.

But it seemed as though, someone was downstairs playing a passionate rendition of Nearer My God to Thee, the very hymn I had closed the night with only hours before. I am the sole piano player in our home, there was no one else who could be down there playing the piano. Certainly not that song. Certainly not at this time of the night.

Shock made my body pound strangely to the steady beat of the hymn downstairs.

I slowly reached over to awake my sleeping husband. Only when I touched him his eyes shot open. Gasping for air, he whispered, "What is that?" The panic in his voice did no service to me. I knew one of us should investigate and I had already picked him.

"Someone is downstairs playing the piano." I said.

He quickly threw the covers off his body and dashed out of bed. As he opened the door to our bedroom, the sound traveled to my ears. Clearer now, I could tell the player was a novice, nothing professional, a player like me.

Then, the sound stopped.

It seemed like eternity until my husband returned. In the darkness I could tell he was holding something--or someone--in his arms.

"Look who I found downstairs," he said frankly, his voice no longer rushed.

I took our sleepy boy from his arms and put him in bed next to me. His eyes were shut, but his body was active-as though he were in a trance. His breathing was heavy and his little chest was rising and falling. Rising and falling. The pieces weren't anymore clear than they were a minute ago. Possibly, I was more confused.

"What . . .?" I started to ask.

"I don't know," my husband replied. "I found him sitting on the carpet by the piano."

My boy shifted his body to absorb mine. Sometime later I fell asleep.

In the morning there was confusion. The boy was back in his own bed, my husband was wrapped like a mummy in his white comforter, and I couldn't recall why I felt so tired. Tired and slightly haunted.

It was the act of  heading downstairs that jolted my memory. I stood by the piano. The hymnal was still open to 100, Nearer My God to Thee just as I left it. I looked up to see Dickens staring, his jacket snug, his beard curly, his base slightly tipping to the right. As he had always been.

But the piano lid. The heavy, thunking cover (no little hands could manipulate) had been pushed back. It was open. The keys exposed, ready to be played.

And this time, I swear on his grave, Charles Dickens winked at me.





GREATEST MOTHERLODE GIVEAWAY EVER!!!


You better hurry, you hear me?
 

I am Courtney Kendrick and this post was based on a true story. As in, someone really was playing my piano in the middle of the night. As Chup as my witness. Happy Halloween.
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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Formaldehyde?

 

Yesterday. I swear.

I swear it was yesterday I gave birth to Ever--a pink, wiggly thing who cuddled next to me in the guest bedroom on a night I couldn't sleep because I was so manic about having her in my life.

It was yesterday right?

Because today I fed her bananas sitting up straight in a high chair, after a morning of crawling like a pinball to toys scattered around the front room. Today she sat strapped in her stroller as we went for a walk--the car seat attachment just a memory in the short past. Today she kept her shoes on all day long.

I need to know, is this going fast for anyone else?

If I go to sleep tonight will I wake up to find her bags packed ready to move in a freshman dorm room? Out of my house into her own life?

TELL ME.

Because if it is true, I am going to get some masking tape tonight and tape my eyes wide open so sleep won't rob me of a decent passage of time.

(Is that it? Is that the point of getting no sleep when you are parents to babies and toddlers? Is it so you can be present for the part that flies by on the sinking and rising of the sun?)

My mind is on fire. Can't process.









p.s. MD and Kentuck, have you seen this baby recently? I had dinner with her last night and I almost didn't give her back. That is what you get for going to NYC without me.

And, I hope you don't mind, Ever passed down her sleepers. Hope Mia likes ruffles. On her bottom.





Two major announcements in one week, what am I CNN?


What's this cold, flaky white stuff?
 


I am Courtney Kendrick and that piggy hat is from Gap, just in case you needed one.
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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

From the Office of c jane

I am working on my annual Halloween post. It's not about smoking ghosts or tents. But it's still pretty scary. And true-ish. Stay tuned duh duh duh...


Big huge announcement in bold and large font about Kenya:



I am c jane and this is who/what I am voting for this election:


I am c jane and the Halloween post should be up by Wednesday night, if I have the courage to post it . . .
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Monday, October 25, 2010

Thanks for Checking Back

I wrote a guest post for Amber's Goodnight moon! blog. I am really bad at writing guest posts, but I will do it for a wife of a marine (who recently returned home from Afghanistan). It's a silly post about Motherhood and Mormonism--the typos, as always, are my fault. You can read it here.




Edible books
 

Edible Allreds



I am c jane and I have changed four diapers this morning,
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Sunday, October 24, 2010

Monday

Dear all.

Late start.

Check back?

Loves.

- Chup for Cjane

Friday, October 22, 2010

Retro House Ink


I knew what I was supposed to say when The Chief started scribbling on my legs. In a voice that suspiciously doesn't sound like my own, I am supposed to say, "No, no dear. We don't draw on our bodies."

But sometimes motherhood is too sanctimonious for me. Sometimes I want to say just the exact opposite of what my inner matron is telling me to say. I want to reply to her, "Yes well I never really got that point anyway." Maybe I will someday, you know, but I am not there yet (as evidenced) in a lot of ways.

So this morning my legs became a palette for my son's artist expression. When there were requests for spaceships, cars, sharks, helicopters and the like, I couldn't twist my body enough to produce a satisfied image, we asked Dad to contribute.

I lounged and as they penned away--drawing The Chief's world of mobile things and bad guys with big heads. It relaxed me. It tickled.

I liked it.






p.s. I am going to see Dracula this weekend, directed by my brother Topher, featuring my husband Chup A. Cabre and many of their talented friends. I am already feeling weird and spooky and ready for the thrill.

(Melodramatics in the video by the inimitable Jake Suazo.)





Art and The Family. What more could you want?


I am c jane and can you spy Woody?
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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Heirloom


And because I am not the mother I thought I'd be (I am far too practical than I am whimsical and who saw that coming?) I've been on this constant quest to feel comfortable in my own mother's skin.

I should go back, back to the part about how I am not the mother I thought I'd be--because that stuff is interesting.

I am one of those cloud-heads. I've survived my life so far with a presence of imagination and skillful escapism. I like to play pretend and day-dream at all hours. A typical moment for me is talking about something and mid-sentence get caught up in a vision or idea which propels me off into a world of thoughts that I can only share with myself. This usually ends with Chup waving his hand in front of my face with a "hello?" or a "yes?"

And I thought all of this would transfer into motherhood, but it has not. I am the alter ego of myself when it comes to my children. I like order and tidiness and work. WORK! My greatest desire as a mother is to teach my children self-reliance and practicality and service! This is leading to a very serious identity crisis. I wake-up baffled most mornings.

And I don't really like it.

So I've been contemplating what I can do to bridge the gulf between myself and myself, and the answer I have felt most comfortable with so far is to focus on giving my children opportunities that are both creative and constructive.

And we've had our successes, sorta. Last month we went to Jacob's Cove one morning--really early--because I wanted to show The Chief what a creative farm looked like. Basically, Dale Allred is a genius farmer and has cultivated a plot of land to supply locally grown crops to high-end restaurants (like Communal and Sundance). But the real gem of this whole place is his willy wonka-ish tomato tent where Dale has invented new heirloom tomatoes in rows of swirling vines. Like the Sunrise tomato and the Sunset tomato and the Black Cherry tomato which actually tastes like a cherry. Sweet as the sun in July, I swear.


Chup even tried one and nobody hates tomatoes more than Chup. We actually have that in writing and are now contacting Guinness for an official record.

 As the tour of tomato rows and lettuce fields continued I felt increasingly proud of myself for finding something in my life that appeased both sides of me. This was practical, this was pretty.


That is until we lost The Chief.

My passionate response to this farm pulled me in and I forgot to take my son with me. We yelled for him, we ran up and down the vines, I proceeded to panic.

Then Chup found him playing in some rain water by a wheel barrow.


I saw it as our cue to head home.

I've said this to friends, and I am saying it today: I am a mess. I don't know where I put my sanity (I checked under my brain where I thought my stability was as well) but for the most part I am clueless in all directions. It's like motherhood has this druggish affect on my state of mind. I am whaaaaat? most of the time. Dazed, confused and silly. But I hear this is common side-effect of maternity. I just didn't see it coming.

Now I day dream about the time when I've got it all together. Both of me.







Locals can actually buy food from Jacob's Cove:


My peace/piece on chocolate:
 





I am c jane and don't tell me that day never comes--the day where I have it all together.
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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

First Bite Ever

 

The Chief woke up from his afternoon nap like this: I WAAANNNNAAA COOOOOOOKIE!

A cookie. See?

And the thing is, I like cookies but they aren't staples in our house. We don't just have cookies in our cupboards. You know when a two year old wakes up from a nap and they are as grumpy as hell--actual Hell--and they want the one thing you don't have? That was this afternoon.

There was no placating him either.

I tried to give him crackers, cheese, fruit snacks, left-over noodles.

I WANNNNA COOOOOKIE!

About an hour later I just gave up. I flipped the IGNORE button and went on with my day. Then, when I was in the Green Room hugging on Ever Jane, Grandma Judy showed up with two elephant ears (large oval shaped fried dough dipped in cinnamon and sugar) fresh from the bakery.


I said: Look, a cookie!

And suddenly the sirens stopped and we had silence. And coooookies.

When The Chief had eaten a chunk, Ever Jane started chewing on it. This was the first time my baby had ever sunk her two tiny baby teeth into real food. I've tried rice cereal, and mashed up peaches, and a baby toast thing last Sunday morning, but Ever would not have any of it--rejected all with nostrils flaring and a back-pedaling tongue. But a slab of fried dough dipped in cinnamon and sugar ushered my daughter into this wonderful world of solid ingestion.



Welcome girl.






I wear my  heart on my sleeve.
 

Donut Couture.


I am c jane and Grandma Judy is my sister in law Suze's mom. We've sorta adopted her as our Grandma too. She shows up from time-to-time with treats or raspberry jam or a book she thinks I'd like to read. Suze calls her Double Duty Judy, because the woman never stops. She is part robot, we've decided. Robot with a HUGE HEART.
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