On our way to a Saturday morning breakfast at Communal I felt sour. Here it was the precious weekend, having two hours alone with my husband to eat and relax, and I was irritable. Negativity presents itself as vanity in my life, if I don't explore my mood, it will translate into disparaging thoughts about my looks.
My hair, body, skin, clothes . . .
I prayed as we drove downtown--a gray, cold morning with ticker-tape type snow. I looked in the car mirror to assess the situation. A white, colorless face stared back at me.
I don't want to feel this way. Please help.
The response to my prayer was immediate, Your head is empty of thoughts. When you starve your intelligence there is nothing to digest but the empty space. Fill your head again.
This answer wasn't something new, but something I routinely forget. If I don't feed my spirit, I start to feed on my looks and those thoughts are a feeding frenzy of imperfection. Those thoughts are empty calories and low fuel. My greatest beauty hope is a head full of new thoughts, a cache of exploration, a pallet of new ideas.
After a slow meal of scones and eggs, Chup took me to the bookstore to sample some words. I tasted travel books, cook books, narratives and some really horrible diet guides. Finally, I decided on a book about clearing the mind and allowing for positivity and peace.
It was like I had fueled up my brain on premium. We were good to go.
"Hey there woman," Chup called out to me as I found him reading about cars in the magazine section,"can I take you home?"
"Alright," I blushed.
40 Pieces of Opinion:
Great post. I know exactly what you mean and a book store is like therapy to me. If I have nothing constructive to focus on I will critique any negative physical attribute I can find about myself and there is no good that can come from that. Love your blog:)
Sometimes I do the exact same thing only I plow through it and oftentimes do not petition the heavens for help. Maybe I should start...
I loved the line, "ticker-tape type snow." It brought up nice images, but try to say that fast five times.
I have learned to replace my negative thoughts with positive ones. If I feel particularly upset I quote Bible verses out loud! It is amazing how this helps me focus on the positive.
This is such a good reminder. If I am feeling low and beating mysllef up...really why am I thinking so much about "ME". Learn, do, think...it really does a body good. If only I could remember that always:)
Sometimes getting lost in words is exactly that we need. I know losing myself in a book always cheers me up!
This is exactly what I needed to read this morning! I woke up with some very negative thoughts about myself. I guess the phrase "idle hands are the devil's workshop" applies to brains as well. Thanks!
I agree. I feel most dissatisfied with my life, and the most critical of others when I am failing in my personal study. I NEED to keep learning and expanding my horizons, or it is amazing how quickly they begin to shrink again. You would think I am busy enough - expecting our 5th child, homeschooling, teaching Primary, but no, if I am neglecting my own education, everything falls apart. Balance is such a tricky thing!
Great post, but I just thought I'd point out that "asses" is not the same thing as "assess." It did make me smile, though, so thanks for that!
Okay, I'm starving...off to find some more food for thought...
Fill the void. Thanks for this reminder.
Thanks for being a regular source of fuel for my brain!
So TRUE!! I feel that way when I get so caught up in all my mother/wife/home/work duties and do not carve out some time for myself to read and just be. Thanks for the reminder.
"When you starve your intelligence there is nothing to digest but the empty space."
Ah. Wisdom. Thanks for these Monday morning thoughts...
I have been reading your blog for quite a while and I have loved many of your posts. This one has struck a cord with me...maybe feeding my mind will help distract me from all of the negative thoughts that I have been feeling too. Thanks for the suggestion, I'm going to find some stuff tonight - no more fluff novels for a while!
LOVE this post! I feel very strongly about this idea. Filling our minds with good knowledge and ideas leave no room for the negative (which so often for women turns to body bashing). So well said CJane.
This is such a great reminder! Thanks!
I really appreciate the post and comments of people sharing what to do with an empty brain and those negative thoughts that prey on the emptiness. I filled my head with law - I went to law school while having my babies - I wanted more mental challenge to fill the emptiness. It is not easy to succinctly summarize all I have learned over the past ten years, becoming a mom, becoming a lawyer - I am stil humbly learning. And often I am still really struggling during those times when I do not have law in my brain - if my brain is empty, negativity is often waiting to creep in. I have only recently discovered how prayer may help me, too. What I find inspiring about this post and the comments following it is that CJane and commentors do not stumble into my problem, that is sharing my negativity with my husband - that never, ever, makes things better. I am reminded today that there are other, simple options. Thanks for a great post and great comments. Much obliged. Tamara
I love how you articulated that. Inspired, I say! Thank you.
I am struggling with my looks now too. Sometimes I wish there were such a thing as a weight loss credit card where I can charge off all my extra baby weight, then gradually pay it off over time.
Your husband thinks you are beautiful, your children think you are beautiful, and I think you are beautiful! Just remember that! Heavenly Father looks at your insides, not your outsides, so the Spirit had some pretty great advice too. Probably just go with that advice.
What's that you're wearin? Ummm, I mean readin? I love how you blog!!!!
Will you tell us what book you got? I need to be similarly inspired...
Have you read The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz? I have found it to be really helpful & as I turn the pages I keep saying to myself "it would be good for me to read this every 3 months - it's like an oil change for my soul :)
Wow, this was a great post. It made me look at things in a new way. Thank you :)
I really enjoyed this post too! I know that sometimes we take for granted that our minds need to be nourished - just like our bodies! I especially liked the ending of your post! What a sweet hubby!
"Negativity presents itself as vanity in my life, if I don't explore my mood, it will translate into disparaging thoughts about my looks."
This is a statement that I could have written to the word. (Except I lack the literary skill to express it like you do!)
Thank you for this post!!
My bad days somehow always turn into "fat" days or maybe it's vice versa?!? Either way I've noticed when I fill my mind with something worthwhile (or not) it helps so much. I just finished reading "The Alchemist" and found it very thought provoking!! Also, knowing that my husband loves me no matter what helps as well!!
Cjane, thank you. This was a lovely post and a much needed reminder for my own life.
Awwwww!
You put into words what I'm just beginning to be able to put into words for myself. Good for you for knowing what it takes to fill yourself up.... and not in a literal sense.
You were blessed in this moment to have your prayer answered with knowledge about how to take care yourself.
Somehow, allowing ourselves to go down that path of self-beratement is beginning to seem to me, self-indulgent--I speak from experience. Getting one's mind off of one's-self is what it takes, whether through prayer, exercise, giving &/or thinking of others--anything rather than focusing on one's self.
It's a slippery slope.
Love your spirit, which is conveyed through your blog!
You put into words what I'm just beginning to be able to put into words for myself. Good for you for knowing what it takes to fill yourself up.... and not in a literal sense.
You were blessed in this moment to have your prayer answered with knowledge about how to take care yourself.
Somehow, allowing ourselves to go down that path of self-beratement is beginning to seem to me, self-indulgent--I speak from experience. Getting one's mind off of one's-self is what it takes, whether through prayer, exercise, giving &/or thinking of others--anything rather than focusing on one's self.
It's a slippery slope.
Love your spirit, which is conveyed through your blog!
Perfect.
You two are adorable! DOn't EVER forget that! P.S. you are the one of the most beautiful people I have NEVER met :) You are REAL & translucent & it makes you one of the most gorgeous people in the world. I can't say that about many people.
xo,
Shannon in Boise
Wow, I think intuitively I’ve done this all my life but it always takes me a few days to figure it out. Filling my mind with beautiful and interesting things to ponder always makes me happier then wallowing in “me” world. You are a wise inspiration.
Thank you for this. Gives me lots to think about for myself.
THANK. YOU. *big hug* Oh...and thank you for Mumford and Sons. I am one of those who have never heard of them. They're awesome.
Beautiful!! Your post is a great example of why I read your blog.
I agree. Sometimes we just need to refill the well. Great choice in book. I have a bunch of those. Probably need to pick them up again or buy myself a new one... just for fun. Christy
wow, this is genius. i do the exact same thing and your revelation was a revelation for me! :) boy, have i been struggling with this lately.
thank you for sharing!!
"Your head is empty of thoughts. When you starve your intelligence there is nothing to digest but the empty space. Fill your head again."
What is the discomfort we feel about having a head empty of thought? I'm wondering if you will expand more on your connection between your intelligence and your soul? Your post seems to compare them as the same thing, or am I mis-understanding your perspective?
Jane,
I am feeling the same way but it is lasting for days. Will a good help? provide cookie suggestions - stat
You, Dear, Lovely Girl, are a gift. A beautiful gift. In your eyes (much like in all your sisters), is the light of inner beauty seen by all who don't even know you. Radiating and transcending any physical package. And that physical package can always be dressed to the nines, no matter our shape or size. You know how to work it. Just don't stay on those detours that re-route. Come back and knock it out in C.Jane style.
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