Photo Jed Wells (in our guest bedroom).
The plan was to be a Stay At Home Mom. Being the homebody that I am, I took a lot of comfort in the stay at home part of that job description. But I've noticed an alarming pattern in my life, anytime I make "a plan" fate brazenly decides against it. I mean, it's either fate or the possibility that I even rebel against my own decisions.
For the most part I am at home, but frequently I attend business meetings, idea meetings, community service meetings and fund-raising meetings which incidentally are all meetings where I make a huge fool of myself. I trained for SAHM not Business Talk 101.
For instance I said "penis" in a fund-raising meeting I had yesterday. As soon as it fled my mouth I tried to recapture it, but you don't just pretend you didn't say that word (of all words). I should be fired by now. Somebody fire me.
And I am always late to these meetings, mainly because my children are smart about me leaving. Yesterday as I was showering (and for the first time this winter: shaving my legs) Ever skillfully crept into the bathroom, tore open the shower curtain and, with her best pirate impression yelled "Ahhhhhrrrrrrrr!" It scared me like a college prank. I jumped three feet in the air and landed on the slippery tub.
Out of the shower and back on dry ground, I decided to speed up the drying of my hair with a blow dryer. My children had never seen one before (in my training of SAHM I skipped the course called, "How to Still Look Lovely Doing the Dirtiest Job in the World") so as I commenced blowing my hair my two children went crazy. The Chief continued to unplug it, "I want that gun!'" and Ever wrapped her body around my leg in an attempt to crawl up and examine the fascinating mechanical contraption in my hands.
You should have seen my hair when it was all over.
By the time I arrived at my second meeting yesterday my entire mane looked so puffy and rat's nest-y that I pulled back what I could into a ponytail:
I carried on like I was bringing back something the 1700's forgot to pass on.
When all of the meetings were over yesterday, the house looked like it had been dumped upside down and rolled around like dice to a giant. Stuff everywhere. Food, clothes and toys littered the floors and dirty dishes barricaded the kitchen sink. And so I took off my boots, put on my apron and got back to work.
Later when I was putting The Chief to bed I cuddled up next to him and told him I loved him. "Wuve you, Mom" he whispered back to me. Moments later he was softly snoring, and I wasn't far behind.
This lifestyle is busy and sometimes entirely taxing, but I know it's the life Heavenly Father wants for me. Once you turn your will over to Him there is no difference between God and fate.
52 Pieces of Opinion:
In one sense you and I may say, What can we give God, who seems to have everything? The one thing we can give Him that He does not have and that He will not take is our wills. This is the act of spiritual submissiveness in which, like Jesus, the perfect mentor, we let our wills be swallowed up in the will of the Father. Such is a gift you can give that He desires from all of us.
http://lds.org/ensign/2001/02/jesus-the-perfect-mentor?lang=eng
i read your blog every day. and today, it just made me grin.
i am a working mom. but there are still some of those same dualities that i look at ever day and shrug my shoulders.
and, i have also said penis in a meeting.
thank you for starting my day off with some great perspective.
um hello EXCELLENT hair in that first pic. Have hair envy. Great cut and colour too
"Once you turn your will over to Him there is no difference between God and fate."
I love this.
Judd's photo is awesome. It looks like something out of the 1950's, although no one would be on a queen bed...you'd each be on your own twin.
Ha! I laughed out loud reading this. I saw a recommendation for your blog from someone else's, so this is my first time stopping by. I think you are a very talented writer and I loved this post! Thank you!
- R. from fête
well ... the verdict's in. i freaking love you and that darling pirate pranking family of yours. and you are so right. there is no difference between god and fate - when we turn it to him. what a blessing to know that...and to have the ability to find peace, guidance and retreat in that. :> thank you...for writing today. and ps. i would have LOVED to hear 'that' word in such a meeting out of your mouth. i'm sure it was pure comical relief.
I think I've commented more on this blog in the last two weeks than the other few years I've been reading. :) But I loved this post b/c I had the same plan. To be a SAHM. Then God told me to go be a doctor too. And I thought, "What the??" It is exhausting, but I am comforted by knowing I'm doing what He guided me to do. I'm glad you're doing what you're doing. It means a lot to people like me. :)
Well said. (Can we hear the "penis" story details??)
This is the balance SAHMs of the world face. Because your time is somewhat discretionary, it's easy to get filled up with a bunch of other stuff.
It's nice to see you attempt to put your family in its correct place on the priority list.
Love this post.
I loved this. And I miss your face. That is all.
I'm sorry that I laughed right out loud at the image of little Ever scaring you right on to the slippery bottom of the bathtub. It was just too funny!
I love this post!
Ok, so I was reading this in the library at school and laughed (loudly) at the pictures and the visual I had of you.
People stared.
Thanks for the laugh!!!!
Love this. I was a career woman & determined to do that AND be a SAHM one day (my mom did it, so I thought, why not me?). Now...trying to be a SAHM on med school loans, no less. Why God has the plans for us He does, who knows, but I am trying my hardest to learn & listen in the meanwhile. So I appreciate this post. Especially Ever's pirate-ness. I hope my little girl gets that someday too. Hilarious!
The term stay-at-home mom makes me laugh. I have kids from 4-18 and I rarely stay home. But, I wouldn't change it for anything.
LOL I made the camel photo my desktop background (love the teeth).
I'm so relieved that is your guest bedroom in the pic. There's no stuff, which would never happen in my room. Why does life generate so much stuff?
But maybe your bedroom is that clean as well.
:)
I love this, thanks for the great post C Jane!! Being a Mom was never on my radar and some days I struggle if I am good enough, but I know it is where my Heavenly Father wants me and he is always there for me.
I needed this. It was a tough night...
I love that last sentence. Really needed to hear that and try to live that way each and every day. I get obsessive about controlling things sometimes and I just need to let go and live more.
So fun to hear from SAHM C. Jane again. I love all the good things you're doing in the world, but my favorite of your posts are always about your life at home. Now that's a job I can relate to!!
This is my first time commenting here, but thought I'd chime in because this "dual citizenship" post resonates with me. I've been a practicing lawyer for nearly 15 years (now part time) and a parent for 8. Both roles define me, although my parent hat is one I never (could nor would care to) remove. I've often thought to myself that I'm like Mr. Rogers, returning from work, and exchanging my jacket and shoes for a cardigan, capris and flipflops. I think of myself as a "double agent." But "dual citizen" captures the feeling as well.
I recently met an old friend for lunch to continue a conversation from our last lunch together about 15 years ago. "Is this what you imagined for your life?" we asked each other. Marriages, many children and years later, she, like me, has found herself working in a career to support her family.
The reality is that "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry." I know very few women (or men for that matter) who can say their lives have played out precisely according to plan. The trick, of course, is to realize that God may have a grander plan-- and then to do all you can to magnify what is allotted to you.
Sounds like you have the best of both worlds. :)
***DORK ALERT*** I almost had to ask what SAHM stood for...DOH!!!! and i love the family picture.
p.s. PENIS!
And one should always don fancy big rings for bed lounging. After reading your tweets {and blog}...it is time, my friend for some hired house help. honest, I won't tell. Even if you only had kitchen and b-rooms twice/month. Did that for years. love.
this post made me laugh...i can totally relate. azucar had a very relatable post today, too. it is a relief to know that others, whom i admire, have kids that act looney in public, and sometimes have to wear awful ponytails as a compromise. i have said "penis" in more than one meeting, but it was expected...so no laughs.
The last line was exactly what I needed to hear today. My husband is almost done with school and we are trying to figure out where to move and raise our family. We know it's in the Lord's hands, but that isn't always easy . . . exactly why what you said was needed for me today! Thank You.
I love your writing!
You are an awesome multi-tasker. I love your writing and your blog!
Fun post. And I can tell it's not made up, because my kids act just like that.
I love the photo too. Favorite family portrait I've seen this year (or longer).
Being a man I am reluctant to say anything about this post and recognize the inherant risk in doing so anyway. Thanks for encapsulating the dichotomy of the home and work place so well. One where where timeliness and appropriate dress and hair (or hairlessnes) are important and the other where snuggles and "wuv" trump everything.
As usual, you had me dying laughing when you described Ever visiting you during shower time.
Chup? We need to talk.
I know you've given up, and I want you to know that there is help.
How do I know, You ask?
The pale yellow robe you're sporting in the picture.
It screams, "I don't care anymore!" and "Look at her! Don't look at me!"
Of course, it might be screaming "The stylist made me wear this!" but I'm not hearing it.
I realize that the day to day can get you down, but that doesn't mean that you surrender to a yellow bathrobe. No!
You must resist ever putting that on again!
And if you have to, throw on an ascot on man!
Borrow some boots and a cowboy hat from Christian, and hang a lasso out of your pocket!
If money is tight, and you can't afford a different robe, grab a sharpie and put some pin stripes on that thing!
And Courtney?
Bringing home a little chocolate for Chup now and again isn't a bad idea either.
Especially if you want him to "put out" when you get home. (Hey, at least *I* didn't say penis).
In fact, listen to the words of this song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTfDXJyKkRM
It might give you some ideas on how to let him know you still care.
Heck, buy him a brown robe so he doesn't blend in with the sheets and wallpaper in the next family picture.
Just a thought.
Or two.
And Chup?
Hold on, the light will come.
Or maybe the mailman will.
With a new bathrobe.
The way I see it,putting something in the Lords hands is just a way a not taking responsibility for your actions.
Just my opinion. I've always figured I'd be going to the "fun" hell so I guess I've now sealed my fate!
I really love this post. It so merrily describes the chaos that comes with a busy mummy life. Thank you've. It's started my day off well.
courtney...
don't usually comment, but had to today. i'm taking your last sentence ("once you turn your will over to Him there is no difference between God and fate") and turning it into a poster or something so i can look at it daily. i LOVE it....totally resonates with me as it's SO TRUE! there are NO coincidences with God in control of your life.
also, don't sweat the penis thing. i have three boys and that word is thrown out around here at least 10 times a day. penis, shwenis. no biggie.
xoxo
stacy
I love this post! Fabulous!
I once accidentally said "penis" in front of my better half's college adviser (why is he the better half? Because he doesn't say penis in public).
The worst part? I wasn't trying to say penis at all. I was trying to say "peanuts." More specifically, I was trying to say "I love peanuts!" But my intermittent and probably-not-as-adorable-as-yours lisp transformed it into something far, far worse.
The difficulty with your point of view is that it takes all responsibility out of your hands for your life and the important decisions that must be made during a lifetime. Things do not occur because some mystical being thinks they should (whatever that means), but because you played a hand in their occurring. It's like believing that the awful education system n Utah is because of God and that simply is not true. Everyone has a hand in what takes place.
I am a little afraid of planning because God always seems to change them up or have me to do exactly the thing I said I wouldn't do.
I love this post. Somehow you always touch my heart in someway.
I hope you are having fun birthday times with Lucy tonight--Lucy and I share a birthday :)
--Mari
www,whathappenswhenthedaughterbecomesthem.blogspot.com
I don't understand why one would think it's irresponsible to attribute the love, success, happiness, etc. that someone has in their life to God's hand in their life...?
Certainly you can't sit around twiddeling your thumbs all day expecting the things you seek to just fall into your lap-- you need to get out there and put forth effort and work to obtain the things you want out of this life.
Working hard doesn't mean you don't believe in a larger design, it means you're willing to show gratitude, humility, and acceptance.
It's not an "either, or" concept. It's a balance of both believing in yourself and also in the Lord's ability to bless your life.
I too am a SAHM, but recently started doing a bit of freelance work. At a meeting the other day I went to casually sip from my to-go cup while talking and instead poured my hot chocolate all down my chin and chest. My client rushed over to the buffet and grabbed me like 100 napkins while instead of being embarrassed, I thought, "If I had my diaper bag, I could just use a wet wipe." Then when I tried to take my pencil out of my purse, I instead flung it across the room where I had to lumber awkwardly under a bench to retrieve it while everyone looked on. On the drive home I wondered, "Was I always this awkward?"
I LOVE that story! I LOVE to laugh out loud & I most certainly did while reading your post! thank you for the full on laughs!
Love that you call mothering/homekeeping "the dirtiest job in the world."
I now know that someone else has noticed the near impossibilty to staying clean and snazzy looking!
Oh, if I could only take back the many, many words that have spewed forth from my mouth at inappropriate times. Like when I talked with the stake president about groping. Oh, OH! That one still kills me.
I think well rounded mothers are the best kind of mothers.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
You can attribute all of the good things in your life to God. (I think that it is silly, but it isn't my choice.) The big problem I have is with people who do not also attribute all of the bad things to God.
This is just what I needed to read today. I'm waiting for news from work that could potentially force us to place our 9 month old in daycare before we're ready (I currently work from home). I am grateful and thankful for my job, but an struggling with a compromise I'm not sure I'm ready to make. As I await the news, I keep trying to remind myself that what happens is God's will and not mine. I needed to hear it from someone else; thank you.
Why is it that when we're not home to make messes, the house is messiest of all?
Thank you for that last line. It is so, so true. I think it might need to go on my bathroom mirror . . .
Oh, my, you make me laugh so hard!! My life is strangely similar. lol
Wonderful post. I need this today.
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