Yesterday my nephew Alex went into the Missionary Training Center (MTC) where he will learn how to teach the gospel and speak Russian. After a few months there he will be sent to St. Petersburg where he will live for two years. In those two years, he'll be able to write and email his family, and call home four times (Mother's Day and Christmas).
Alex was due to enter in the MTC at 12:45pm. Because they live three hours south of us, the family decided to come up, sleep-over at our house and say their good byes in our living room. (We live minutes away from the MTC.) Good byes have to be done prior to dropping off your missionary, there is no park and hug. You just pull up, your missionary jumps out, MTC helpers take his luggage and they're gone for two years.
(Sisters are gone for 18 months.)
(My parents, who oversee all the missionaries like Alex in one designated area, are gone for 3 years.)
We know Alex is so excited to be a missionary, but we also know that he is a lifelong Mama's boy. All morning long Suze was picking the lint off his suit and urging him to take Tylenol if his sore tooth was acting up later that evening (when she wouldn't be there to remind him).
Then she looked at me and said, "You will go to sleep tonight and wake up in the morning to find that it's
The Chief's day to go into the MTC. That is how fast it happens."
I didn't like that thought much.
(But then my son started screaming at me from the den and I briefly reconsidered...)
I remember when my oldest brother Steve, Alex's dad, went on his mission to Peru. We bawled for months. We faithfully wrote him every week, sent him tapes of us talking and packages with pictures and candy.
It had a huge impact on my family. After Steve, four other brothers went on missions (Chile, Finland, Spain and Puerto Rico), and Lucy and I also served (England and Canada). (Chup went to Japan.)
After a lazy morning of jokes, visitors and donuts it was the appointed time to load up the luggage and take Alex to his mission. That is when the good byes started.
It was sad. Sad and exciting, but mostly lots of crying.
Us Mormons, we get called crazy a lot. Crazy, weird, strange. And when I think about this day in my future, me sending my nineteen year-old son out into the world to experience all sorts of emotions--dejection to jubilee--without so much as a daily phone call I think, They're right. We are crazy.
But, it's two years of service, two years of growth, two years of learning, compassion, and experience--for the missionary and the family back home. Many would say the sacrifice is worth the blessings in return.
Until we meet again, God be with you Alex. We love you!
You can read more about missions here.
144 Pieces of Opinion:
I'm not a Mormon, so it is little strange to think of every single young person doing a 'mission' (if it even is every young person that does it?) but I can see that it must be an amazing experience even simply on a cultural level. Thinking about the different countries that just your family has visited is amazing. They must go out with a lot of courage and come back with a lot of wisdom.
This post made me get a bit emotional...my oldest son will be heading off to the MTC in 5 years. And it might seems kind of silly to be feeling this way when I have 5 more years but your sister-in-law was exactly right. It goes so fast. Best of luck to all your missionaries...and to all Mormon missionaries the world over! They need and deserve our prayers. As do their families!
That just made me cry. At 8:30 in the morning! Bah!
Funny, just yesterday I wrote about my son leaving on his mission. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done...and the best. And, yes, it just happens one day - when you aren't looking. My post is here www.samuelsmiracle.com/updates.
Definitely got all teary reading this and especially seeing the pictures. The photographs capture the moments and emotions perfectly.
Thanks for a nice jolt of emotion to start the day. It not only brings back my own feelings from 30years ago when I left but also the feelings I have had in sending two daughters and some other young men on their missions. Powerful emotions to remind us of our love for each other. Maybe that is a side-effect or a purpose of the mission, to help us all realize the depths of our love for family and friends.
Being as I'm not Mormon I really loved how you explained the process. We do mission trips through our church but they are short-term.
The pictures of the goodbyes were bittersweet. You can see the excitement, pride, and sadness all mixed up together. Thanks for sharing!
Oh! and thanks for making me feel better about my children leaving for college! I won't take those weekend visits for granted! :)
I have three little sons who I am trying to nurture and teach and who I hope will all serve missions. Your post made me a little weepy. I know I'll miss them when they go, but I am more grateful that they will have such an opportunity for growth and service.
I shed a tear over this post thinking about what your sister in law and brother are going through. It would be tough to not only see your child for 2 years but also barely talk with them!
I am not a Mormon, even though I share a lot of your beliefs, but I do see what an incredible action this is! I only wish that more of our world would teach our youth to have a heart of service!
God bless Alex and his family!
I teared up at this, too. I went on a mission as a 22 year old woman, and I know I really enjoyed it (most of the time). But to think of sending my daughter out (if she chooses to go) is...a leap of faith and a huge trust in a God and in her and in the world to care for her. I hope I have enough perspective at that point to bear it AND enjoy it!
Beaultifull history!! I like the histories of lds missionaries! I'm brazilian and mormon!And my english is very poor... heehe
www.murilovisck.blogspot.com
Dear dear CJane - what an absolutely beautiful and heart warming post - I am not reading other comments I do not want to know what anyone else thinks about this as I respond to you - I do not want to have my thoughts tempered. I am so grateful to you for sharing this story. When I was little we had Mormon missionaries visit our home - my parents were catholic and doukhobour and religion was contentious in our home - my parent's marriage was a troubled marriage and we honestly did not have many vistors in our home outside our family (there was much in my childhood that felt lonely and scary) but (now thinking back on it and I can't ask because my dad died yeasr ago when I was eighteen)I believe my dad thought these young men were noble and righteous and when they knocked on the door they were invited in and they came back several times. These two young men came to share with us their faith and they were so loving - I remember it so well. It brought hope and joy to me - I was about seven years old. They visited my brother when he was hospitalized with spinal menengitis. I am so moved by this rite of passage that you shared today and I remember those two men. I thank you for this. I thank you so much for this - it brings me to tears and I feel happy at the same time. (ok, yes, and I do also have pms right now) BUT anyway - awesome sharing CJane. so much love to you and your family, from Tamara Rock (your facebook friend :)) in Canada.
I love this post! This is the kind of crazy that I am absolutely willing to embrace.
Oh my heck! You have me all teary eyed. Your sil is truly right. You blink and they are gone. My oldest turns 19 next week. He has opted not to serve a mission, but he is leaving just the same for the Air Force. A different type of mission. I am sad all the same...
Thank you for sharing this sacred experience with the world. I loved the pictures. They brought back so many memories. I could feel the emotions.
I have been the one in tears as I have had to say "good-bye" to my siblings as they headed out on their missions, and I have also been the excited and nervous missionary leaving home to share my testimony of the Gospel with others.
Missions are amazing. They are challenging and yet so life changing and rewarding. There is nothing like serving others and seeing lives change for the better when people learn of Jesus Christ, his atonement and the plan that is in place to live eternally with our families. .
My sister and I studied Russian in college and she always wanted to serve her mission there.
Can you imagine how awesome it would be to stand in the MTC and hear them singing "Called to Serve" in Russian? I love that! The Gospel of Jesus Christ is so good. I am grateful to be a member.
I wish your nephew all the best!
You explained it so well, two years of service, growth, learning, compassion, tears, laughs, and prayers. The most wonderful continuous 18 months of my life so far.
Super post, CJane. My sister-in-law went into the MTC yesterday, too - she is going to Romania. We live on the east coast so could not see her off, but my thoughts lay heavily on her, and on my own mission many years ago (Canada, too!), yesterday, and I'm having a hard time pulling out of it and living my diaper-changing, nose-wiping, goldfish-dispensing life. I admit, your post is not helping me, but I think I've decided it's OK to hover on that past experience for awhile, and to live a little vicariously through Natalee, ahem, Sister Hickman. I cannot put in words the gamut of lessons and qualities I gained on my mission, but you have done a beautiful job explaining THE BIG DAY.
I wonder if you and Chup would consider each writing a post - or series - about your missions sometime? It makes me want to go back and write about mine.
I don't usually comment, but I've been following your blog for a while since I met you in St. Louis! Missions are the greatest and my parents love your parents-they are doing such a great job! My little brother is on his mission right now, and they really are the greatest! Thanks for sharing this experience! I love reading your fun blog!
So beautiful! The pictures are so lovely. The one of your sister-in-law hugging her son when it was time to say goodbye made me cry! It was beautiful to witness. I say, thank you to them, for sharing those personal and precious moments with the world. Now...off to raise my future missionaries...and put my makeup on to cover my red and swollen eyes. (Way too early to be crying)
Oh what an emotional post. I am here at my office and doing everything I can to try and get the tears to go back into my head.
Seeing that momma hug her baby (okay not so baby) boy goodbye is almost too hard to look at.
What a wonderful act of service. Thanks for sharing.
I admire the fact that people in your faith go out on missions and serve in this way. However, I don't understand why they can't call their families more than twice a year. Do you know the rationale for this?
Darn you CJane! My baby boy just passed the sacrament for the first time on Sunday. Yesterday he was gleefully declaring at his 3rd birthday that every present was "for me?"
I cried on Sunday. I cried again today. For me, for my boy. For all the blessings we have yet to receive.
Your nephew is so young! and so beautiful. Oh how I honor your brother and sister-in-law for their faithfulness.
(great pictures!!)
I so had FLASHBACKS of taking my 3 brothers to the MTC. At that time, we were allowed to go in and sit in that horrible room where they tried to get you to sign "Called to Serve", but you couldn't because you were crying so hard. Then they would shuffle the missionaries out the door in the back and the families out the door in the front. That was hard to do, but I don't know that I like the new way, of kicking them to the curb. Good luck Alex. I always told my brothers to have fun. Only because you have to have fun to enjoy life. But, you also need to do what is right...and enough people already told them that!
I am not a mormon but I am in complete awe of the dedication theses young people have to serve the lord. I also admire the trust their parents have that the lord will take care of their precious children while they are away. This must be such an amazing experience for the youth and I would imagine that their parent's must have such pride. I feel like the mormon religion seems to support each other in so many ways. I am currently missing that in my church and it makes it very difficult at times. Great photos! Love your blog:)
Wow, those pictures ripped my heart out. I'm not ready to let go of my baby boys, but I know that before I know it that day will come. Can I come stay at your house too? ;) Those are some really awesome pictures. I love seeing the pictures of my husband saying goodbye to his family at the airport. So sweet to think of him at those tender moments.
We had a boy in our ward report on Wednesday too. He's going to Thailand. I love missionaries. They're such amazing examples of sacrifice, faith and testimony.
I'm not much of a commenter, but this is one post that seems personal to me. We've sent off many missionaries, (my husband was the priest quorum adviser for 10 years) and each time, I'm touched by how they are filled with the spirit of the Lord as soon as they commit to that mission. I have two sons that we have sent on missions, one to Venezuela, who after a year of service there, was transferred to Chile, (that's quite a transfer!) and one to Vegas, who says that it was like going to a foreign country (no language training available). Each time, I thought my heart would break with the longing of having them close, but each time, I would remember that I wouldn't have them anywhere else, doing anything else. And when they came back as men, no longer boys, I was eternally grateful for a loving Father, who understands the needs of young men to serve in His church. Nope, not easy, but definitely worth it. And as quick as those years go by, so will these two.
YOU STINKER!! Yesterday my Sister in Law reminded me that our sons will be headed out on missions in 8 years. Seems like a long time, but I know better. Time goes by so fast! I mean he is 11! When did that happen?!
As I was reading this post and trying not to cry, my son calls "By Mom" as he heads out to go to school. I LOST IT! Totally!
I don't know that we, as mothers, fully understand the sacrifice. Nor will we until we make it. I dread and completely welcome it at the same time! I mean, from the moment he was born I have been preparing for it, and preparing him so that he can make the same choice. Mind you, as I say this I have also had to part with another son of mine. My sweet boy passed away last year, at 4 1/2. Yet, I know right where he is. I know he is safe. I miss him terribly. It will be interesting how this experience will both compare and perhaps intensify the feelings of sending off my older boy.
I may have bawled like a baby this morning over it, but honestly, I look so forward to this for Jake!
Thanks a lot Courtney! :)
Our oldest son is planning on leaving for his mission (destination yet unknown) this summer. Today, you made me cry.
This made me remember leaving my parents and three younger sisters behind at the airport in Oregon before flying to the MTC. It was so sad and I cried the entire way to Salt Lake. And then I cried just as much on my way home from my mission. I also have a special place in my heart for anyone serving in a Slavic country. How exciting for the family.
Yes, you made me cry. I have 6 sons, the oldest will be 19 in a mere 9 months and he talks non-stop about his mission. I'm excited, but also know how hard it will be. The comment about mom reminding him to take Tylenol wrenched my heart. Interesting that the greatest blessings require such great sacrifice.
alright-- im crying! I currently have Missionaries visiting with my once a week for lessons and I always think of their family!
To Anonymous,
The rationale on not having missionaries call home often is to keep them focused on their service to others. Calling home often would definitely distract from the missionary work. I can say this, because I too was a missionary at one time.
I received plenty of letters from home and never had to wonder what was happening.
The time goes quickly as a missionary. They work so hard and are always busy. You don't need to feel bad for these missionaries because they want to serve. They want to share their testimonies and the Gospel with others. They are happy and I can say, I never felt deprived as a missionary. I enjoyed my mission greatly. Yes, it was challenging at times, but it was so great. I met so many wonderful people.
Thanks for this wonderful post. My youngest son has been serving his mission in Taiwan for the past 15 months, and reading this, every emotion that I felt on the day we took him to the MTC has come rushing back. It is truly the definition of "bittersweet." I LOVE what missions do for young men. They take a boy and make him into a man of God. They can change the entire course of a young man's life. And, as hard as it is to say goodbye, multiply those emotions by 1,000 to imagine the incredible joy you feel when you see them walking toward you at the end of the 2 years!
Great photos! I'm crying and feeling sentimental lucky we Jews send our 19 year old off to College instead of Missions. Next time the boys in short sleeves and ties come biking up to our house I'm gonna ask them about the experience of being a way from their families for so long. (Last time I told them it's ok to read your blog, Stephanies, and Design Mom while on Mission since they are Morman blogs!!)
Wow. The pictures did me in! You can feel the emotion in each photo.
Thank you for sharing this moment with us.
I get a little weepy just looking at those pictures, and I don't even know the kid! Good luck to him! I guess I need to work harder on teaching my 10-year-old son to be independent, because the thought of sending him off to take care of himself in 9 years makes my heart stop!
Since I will be sending my youngest son and the only missionary from our family off to the MTC on March 23 for his mission to Seoul, Korea, this post really hit home.
I have bittersweet emotions; I'm so thankful to have a missionary and so proud of him, but I will surely miss him! But having been a Mission President's wife, I also know that it will be a valuable life-changing two years for him and I'm excited for him to begin.
I read this while watching my 5 year old son writing at the table. Big mistake. Now he wants to know why I'm crying my face off.....
A few months ago I was in the Park City airport (arriving for a ski trip) and there was a HUGE (I mean HUGE) group of people, mostly little kids waiting for a missionary to arrive home from mission. It made my sister and friend as well as several other strangers cry (we are not mormon and had not experienced this homecoming before) to see the joy that was felt for his homecoming. It was really a moving experience.
I also recently re-read a few letters of correspondance from a friend of mine when he was on mission in Chile. It was amazing to "see" his growth in his faith over the two years. How cool!
I pray that your nephew can experience that same growth!
This American Life did a segment on Mormon missionaries in New York City. To be honest, the boys in that story sounded pretty immature and not well trained. How are people that young supposed to convince adults with real lives and responsibilities to follow their (God's) path? I understand it's supposed to be a learning experience for the young people, but what service, exactly, are they performing for others?
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/426/tough-room-2011
Oh wow, way to make me cry! I hate saying goodbye and when my brother left I cried way too much for a married older sibling to get away with, you would've thought I was his mother. Good luck to Alex and his momma while he's gone :)
I got all emotional and I dont even have a son. Not that one of my three daughters wont serve a mission but I guess as a parent you don't prepare for it in the same way. Oh no! What if my babies turn 21 and want to leave me!! Maybe I should start mentally preparing just in case :)
Oh my goodness those pictures made me tear up...reliving those emotions when I went, but mostly thinking of the day when I send each of my 4 sons (and perhaps a daughter) out into the mission field! My oldest turns 12 in 2 months and I think it will be the blink of an eye before he is going!
I have to admit to tears running down my cheeks as I looked at these tender pictures. I have 2 boys and I'm excited and scared for them to go on missions. Loved this post Cjane...thanks for sharing.
My parents are in a branch presidency in a Russian Branch right now--maybe he will be in their branch! We all wish him luck.
I have read your blog for a long time and have never commented (that I can recall...), but this post requires a comment. I am feeding my 5-month-old son a bottle while I listen to my 3-year-old boy recite the alphabet. The picture of your Sis-in-law holding hands with her son brought immediate tears. I will hopefully be her some day. Sending my sons to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Thanks for sharing these pictures and reminding me of the feelings I had when my brothers (Puerto Rico, Chile, and El Salvador), sister (Montana), and parents (Peru) went on their missions.
Tears. I just dropped the kids off at school with a twinge of lonliness. Oh how I'll grow when they are really off on their own. Hooray for missionary work.
So why can't they call home? I don't get it.
I should know better by now then to read your post while my 2nd graders are in the Library for 30 minutes. I am in my classroom in tears. I'm sure they will roll their eyes at me and say "Ms. Ostler you're crying again?" But I'm so glad I got to read your post. It's hard to say goodbye to those you love when they get enter the MTC but it helps that they are going off to serve the Lord.
Thank you for sharing!
My oldest has been out for about 6 months; #2 Son just started his papers. He turns 19 in May. They were babies just a short time ago. It is wonderful for them to serve, but I miss my boy. Yes, I do. The one who drove me nuts when he was home.
I'm a missionary Mom. Our son is in Japan and will be coming home in early July. Yesterday was his 21st birthday, so I was thinking about him all day. Yes, it is hard having them gone--don't ever apologize for missing them! Just because something is good, doesn't mean it isn't hard too. His weekly emails are so fabulous--he's a greater writer, and who knew? Before he left we communicated almost daily through the phone. So, my piece of advice is to teach the Chief to be a great writer like his Mom so that you can have the benefit of hearing all about everything every week. And, to the question of why we don't talk to them but twice a year, I kind of understand that now--it still would be hard to say goodbye on the phone, and it would be distracting for them. Give your sister a hug for me! She's joined the club of being a Missionary Mom.
We love the Clark's. We are in the same ward and were able to listen to them speak on Sunday and Maggie is my daughters friend and they are in the same class at school and Emily was in our Sunday school class when we were the teachers and we are getting to know the family a little better. I love, love, love the pictures and the thoughts you said! Thanks so much for sharing. I was thinking about the family yesterday and how everything went for them. Definitely teared up a little. Lucky you for being there for them!
Bless Alex and all of your family!! Those photos of all the hugs made my heart ache a little. He looked like he was trying to wrap everyone up in them and take them with him! I didn't know that the missionaries weren't able to call home often, it really adds a new light to what they are really doing out there. I hope that he has the experience of a lifetime and thanks so much for sharing this part of your story!
I have never commented here, although I read almost every day! After looking at these pictures, I have a huge lump in my throat and a little bit of a heartache. I have a 9 year old son (he's our only) and I cannot imagine what it will be like sending him on a mission. When he was born I imagined myself as Hannah in the Old Testament, who prayed and prayed for a child and received one. The second part of the story where she sends him to be a servant of the Lord now seems unimaginable to me. It's an odd thing...where else would you want your son to be when he's 19 and worthy to serve his Heavenly Father? How can the happiest thing in my life also be the saddest? I guess I just wish He would lend Scot to me for a little longer. If not, maybe He could make the years not fly by so quickly.
As I read this post tears came. I remembered when I left, The time will go fast. I love the moments you caught on film.
And I'm just sitting here crying into chocolate cake.
We just sent my eldest nephew off to Denmark and it was mostly happy and exciting...
And yet. I watched him, a few nights before he left, with my own 2 year old boy and I thought: "Oh man, how will I be able to do it?"
(The picture where Alex is playing with Suze's ring? That's where I started bawling...my little boy does that.)
Hugs to Suze and all of you. He's a tough kid, and Russian isn't that hard to learn. He's going to do just grand.
Oh the pictures! Priceless!
Onward, ever onward!
Thanks for sharing such intimate moments for Alex and your entire family! I admit, I too do not really understand why a person serving the Lord and ministering to others would be allowed to call home only twice a year but there's a lot in this world I don't understand lol. I'm wondering (out of pure curiousity) what happens if a young missionary has a rough spot and decides on impulse to phone home? Would he or she be punished in any way or banned from the church? Probably not but as I said, I was just wondering...
Also, I too hope you will sometime share your experiences as a missionary and talk in general about that. (Chup too!) Does everyone go? Is it required to be a Mormon? For YOU personally, what years were you in Canada? I'm just curious (again lol!) because I was there visiting at different times--2003 thru 2008. Albeit Canada is a big country so chances are I wouldn't have run into you anyway lol! I was in Ontario--Cambridge, Kitchener area. Another great post, Cjane! Hugs!
WOW! for a min. I thought "are we related?" My nephew Alex left for the MTC yesterday.
He his going to the Geneva Switzerland French Speaking mission..
So we are not related. Darn!.
Made me cry just remembering doing this with my two boys. It's a wonderful/awful time! As a parent you wouldn't want them doing anything else during that time, but the goodbyes are torture! It does get easier though. Once you start getting those letters and hearing how much they are growing and loving the work, it makes the pain of goodbye all worth it. Kind of like labor!
Just finished crying. My son leaves in May for Moscow, Russia. Maybe it was the pictures, the words you wrote, or the fact he is going to Russia too. Anyway, I am excited for my son, but this post got my tears flowing! I raised my son to go on a mission. I am so proud of him. He is ready to serve and I know he will be great! Thanks for this wonderful post. Enjoy every moment of motherhood. It goes by too quick!
what a lovely post, cjane. your photos are so touching. i am not mormon, but my husband and i befriended two young missionaries biking in the cold in their shirtsleeves one year (phoenix isn't ALWAYS warm). they were well spoken, insightful young men. they explained their mission and their hopes to us. i couldn't help but think of their mothers. so i gave them gloves. the biggest of sacrifices are for the dearest of causes. wishing the best to all the young missionaries out in the world right now...and the families at home, waiting for them.
I can't even think about my oldest going on a mission next year without getting teary. I can't wait for him to have the experience but I can't fathom life without him around for 2 years. Who will make me laugh? Man, I love that kid. But I know others will love him, too, wherever he goes to serve.
Thanks for making me teary this morning.
I don't know much about Mormons or missions, so pardon my question, but I'm curious (and hoping someone can answer for me):
In my hometown, you finished high school and then went off to college (or you didn't, I suppose). If Mormon teens begin a two-year mission at age 19, do some make plans to attend college afterward?
Is the year between high school graduation and mission work dedicated to anything in particular (other than spending time with friends and family before leaving)?
Oh my. This post has me crying into my keyboard. The pictures are heart-wrenching. The pure emotion and love in all of those hugs is palpable. It was hard enough to send my 'mamas boy' off to college, yet I could still talk to him by phone every day if I needed to. (Yeah, that didn't last for long.)
One question: How in the world does one learn Russian in two months??
You rock!!! Thanks for beautifully capturing this moment. I was able to immediately remember all the emotions of sending my brother off. The tears are flowing, but I'm so inspired. Thank you for being you.
I converted over 10 years ago but have been inactive for several years, unfortunately. I have SUCH fond memories of the darling, sweet missionaries that taught me my lessons! I always thought how wonderful it was that these young men serve for two years. It is not just about the missionary work itself...they grow SO much in those two years! I remember my good friend from work- a mother of 5 boys who had all served missions- telling me I could find no better man to marry than a returned missionary. They already know how to cook, clean, and do laundry for you! :)
Unfortunately for me, I joined the Church at 25 and there were no men left to marry my age...lol!
P.S. For those wondering about the "only being able to call home twice a year" rule, I think it helps the missionaries learn to be independent, as well as not getting wrapped up in the emotions of those they left behind, not to mention the lives the missionaries left behind! They are free to write home each week, however, and receive mail, etc., so they are not being isolated from family in any way! That would be contrary to the Church's family-centered faith...
my little brother will be home in 9 short months from serving his mission is paraguay. this post makes me miss him. your photos are awesome. i love the way you captured the mother & son relationship. cheers to worldwide missionaries!
This post was just for me :) Just dropped off our oldest son at the MTC last Wednesday. Life is good...and your sis-in-law is right...Chief will be there before you know it. ENJOY those moments in between...and then, you wouldn't want them anywhere else. (Even though I'm bawling as I write this)
not even Mormon and i'm crying my eyeballs out.
great post.
real.
I don't understand these missions. I would like to know what services the missionaries are providing. Is the point of the mission something more than trying to convert people?
Also, what are the blessings that you expect to receive in return? I understand trying to gain a better understanding of the world - although, they aren't really going out there with an open mind. I don't understand doing good deeds to get blessings. Aren't we supposed to do good things because they are the right thing to do?
I think there are several reasons with the only calling home twice a year. Less homesickness and overwhelming feelings of home on a daily basis.
To not take away from their time serving - they do a lot of teaching and service projects.
and.. some are serving in remote areas where phones are not readily available so fairness would be an issue if some people could call home more often and some could not. And there is the issue of costs too for many, many international calls - especially if it was unrestricted. But mostly I think it has more spiritual reasons rather than practical.
I just found out this morning that my oldest will be coming to your city earlier than we thought for college (if she chooses that route).
Your piece has me crying because it's oh so real and they really do grow up in a moment.
I really enjoyed your post today and your words on DesNews. I'm a daily reader; I can't seem to stop myself. I'm often amazed at your ability to open up and share our beliefs. But you also share your personal insights, your family, your insecurities...That takes a lot of courage. It also makes for good reads, so I keep coming back. Thanks for sharing. Sorry it has to be painful sometimes. Here's one person who thinks you are getting it right, even when it is hard.
I will try to answer some of the questions. I don't know if I caught them all.
Yes, after graduation, most young people choose to attend college-then take a break to serve a mission- and return to college when they get home. That is what I did.
To respond to the age and immaturity of these young people who serve- well, it is true, they are young (some are more immature than others). But the message that the missionaries are sharing is one of hope, happiness and of the Savior, Jesus Christ. Although the missionaries are the ones sharing the message, it is the Holy Spirit that will touch a person's heart and let them know that the message is true and good. I was worried about whether or not I was prepared to teach and share the Gospel with others. I did not feel completely confident in my social skills, but the Gospel of Jesus Christ changed my life. It gave me hope when I felt hopeless. It gave me a peace that I found nowhere else. I wanted to share that happiness with others. I wanted others to know that they were loved by a Father in Heaven, and a Savior, who gave his life for them. And I loved sharing that message. I loved watching others find that light and hope.
As far as service, missionaries serve others by sharing the Gospel message, but they also give community service. As a missionary I participated in service at hospitals, care centers for the elderly, public libraries, elementary schools, programs to help people learn how to read, cleaning up the environment (bagging trash from abandoned areas in the community), etc. etc.
I loved the community service we did as missionaries. I loved the people I met and was able to serve.
As far as if you call home when you are not supposed to as a missionary- Yes, it happens. I did it a couple of times. My mission president found out. No, I did not get kicked out of the Church, or my mission. I think my mission president was mostly concerned with how I was feeling and why I was struggling (I was very sick at the time). I felt loved, I felt accepted and I did not feel judged at all. The leaders are understanding and are there to help the missionaries.
such an awesome guy.
i am so excited for him!
miss you.
xoxo
As I'm sitting here nursing my baby boy, I am bawling thanks to this post. I think about my own mission every single day. Highest of highs, lowest of lows...you know the saying. I also taught english in Russia, so it holds a special place in my heart. My heart goes out to your brother and sister-in-law. Your nephew is adorable. He will do great!
now I'm crying
(and wondering why I wasn't a better letter writer)
There's a book out there called "mommy, do I have to go on a mission when I grow up?" I'm pretty sure it will be read more for my benefit than for my boys. My 6 year old and I were just talking about his mission yesterday and my 4 year old told Dora and Boots last week when he grows up he just wants to be a missionary. So the training has begun and I worry that it will go too fast... but seeing how my mission changed my life (and introduced me to my baby daddy), there's nooooo change they won't be going. How's that for free agency? :) good luck and best wishes to your nephew. And to his mama, too.
I was doing just fine until I saw the picture of your sister in law and her boy embracing. That sent me over top, into riduculous, choking tears. Such a beautiful and bittersweet moment.
My oldest boy is only 9. The thought of sending him out my door in 10 years is terrifying and exciting and heartbreaking and wonderful. So many emotions, and I still have a decade until he leaves!
Thank you for sharing, Courtney.
Two of my five brothers went to that same mission!! They loved loved loved it!!! When they go to the jazz games they can shout things to AK 47 and it always makes him smile! He's going to love it!
Yay for missions - I've been home from my mission in Germany about two years... my little sister gets home in 79 days from Moscow, Russia... the MTC drop off was the hardest for me with her. She's my best friend. Can't wait to get her back. Alex is going to be awesome! I taught German at the MTC and knew a few of the Russian teachers and they are AWESOME!
I can't believe I cried while reading this. I am a mormon and I can remember how sad it was to send off my brothers. It truly was a blessing to our family but it is so hard to let go. Sounds like Alex has an amazing support group back at home cheering him on. Way to go Alex!
Every time I look at the photo of him, next to his mom, gently holding her wedding ring I tear up. What a tender moment.
To one of the anonymous posters: Doing good for the sake of doing good is absolutely the right thing to do. It often requires great personal sacrifice to serve others, with no "reward" other than knowing that we've done good for the sake of doing good. But isn't that knowledge -- that we've helped someone else (in any way) -- with its attendant feelings of peace, hope, love, and joy indeed the greatest of blessings? If such feelings indeed result from doing good and serving others, then let me do good for the sake of doing good for the rest of my life.
I taught Alex at church for a little while (they were living at your parents' for a while during a job change as I remember). So nice to see him headed out to serve.
Anne is due with boy #3 this weekend and this post gave me major butterflies. So much teaching to do to get them ready. That moment of departure has got to feel painfully rewarding. Very painful and very rewarding. Welcoming them home must be amazing. Pure joy.
I'm smiling because I just saw that my sis commented on here and I didn't know she read your blog (but...who doesn't?). I had a baby three weeks ago and she sent a misssionary off last week. We were chatting on the phone (we live on opposite sides of the country) and as I was recounting my birth story I started telling her that since my baby had been 2.5 weeks early I had this strange experience afterward....this separation anxiety. He had been part of me for nine months. I had him all to myself and then one night he was in the other room and someone else was holding him and it drove me to sob out loud!
Then...she said, "That's what it's like sending off a missionary!" And I cried even harder.
I spent two years in the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, a Catholic service program. I was across the country from my family. I can't imagine NOT talking to them! It was a great source of strength and support for me. We were encouraged not to go home, but it was left up to us. My first Christmas, I decided the commandment to honor my father and mother was more important to me than not leaving my community. I had obligations to my family as well, and it would have caused more hurt to miss Christmas than to go. My 2nd year I worked on Christmas day, and while it was powerful to have that experience, I know it was really painful for my family.
Its a tricky balance of serving while still honoring your family. I remember my best friend's twin brother going on a mission and how sad and lonely it was for her, even though she was proud of him. I remember thinking that I didn't want my family to go through that.
I was very moved by the picture of Alex and his mom hugging. You can just see the love, fear, joy, and saddness in her eyes.
Good luck to your nephew.
Yes, the knowledge that you have helped someone is indeed a reward unto itself and that is really my point. In my opinion, it is the only reward that anyone should expect to receive. That is not the way that the "rewards" or people's motivations have been categorized in many of the blog posts or comments. Also, I think that trying to convert people is a very debatable good deed. Serving the community - especially with no strings attached - is absolutely a wonderful mission.
Thank you for taking these pictures and for posting them. I've been checking in on my good friend Suz, but am grateful to get to feel a little bit like I was there.
For the non-members out there, the rules are inspired. If the boys were allowed to call home, they'd get homesick and caught up in the drama of life. By restricting communication to letters and e-mails once a week, they can stay focused.
I think my family was more blessed when my brothers served than at any other time in our lives.
Thanks again.
Shelley
my little brother (who is just 18 months younger than me- therefore my best friend) went into the MTC in august. even though he has been out 6 months, this post brought back all the memories of dropping him off! i am SO grateful for those boys who drop their lives and put everything in God's hands for two years! best of luck to Alex! He will be in my prayers
Just three weeks ago we sent my oldest son off to the MTC. However we are too far away (and it changed at the last minute) to be able to shut down the office and drive him there so we had to say goodbye at the airport. It is bittersweet for sure! I miss him and worry about him, but I'm so proud of him I could burst. They do grow so quickly, I was just thinking about how it wasn't so long ago that I was dropping him off at preschool and he insisting that he could walk to the door all by himself. Now I drop his little brothers off and they seem so little compared to the oldest one, but I know that it will zoom past and it will be their turn too. It's a great reminder to cherish the moments, not just the good ones, but all of them. Love the times that they make a mess, fight with each other, fail a test, because now they're home with you and you have the chance to be able to teach them. Once you drop them off they're all grown up and have to have some experiences to know how to handle the disappointments and failures they will have. Congratulations to your nephew, I'm sure he'll serve well. Don't you worry, it really will be your turn as soon as you turn around :D
Beautifully said. And HI to St. George Suze. Alex looks just like her :)
PS: That first photo looks like Hackworth-style photo.
thanks for posting this, i too go a little teary eyed. i am 35 years old and have plenty of struggles in my life. some with god, some with man, you name it. one thing i can say for sure is that i will never forget nor regret the time i spent as a missionary in spain over 24 years ago. those were some of the happiest times in my life. i think about it everyday, and find myself missing the people, country, and friends i made. i too called home at times other than the times you were "supposed" to call. no, no one gets in trouble or kicked out.
thanks for posting this. what a lucky young man.
Very touching post. Just wanted to add that it's not an either/or thing with missions and college. Personally I don't know any returned missionaries who didn't also go to college. Someone asked how the year in between high school and mission is spent...most get a year of college in, serve their mission, and finish college upon their return.
Your post today really impacted me. As a matter of fact, it got me to contact the missionaries. If it wasn't for the missionaries, I wouldn't be on my way to being baptized. I wrote a blog update today after this post.
http://mymormonjourney.wordpress.com/2011/02/24/back-on-the-right-track/
I am just so grateful for everything the missionaries give up and do.
I am not a Mormon, but when I see missionaries now I always give them a big smile. How brave they are, and you all for sending them.
The picture of mama kissing him on the cheek set me to bawling, and I'm not exaggerating. Full on tears rolling down my cheeks. My oldest is 6 and the thought of him leaving has my stomach in knots! I guess I'm a little overprotective? Good luck to Alex!
Oh. And when did they stop doing the devotional missionaries in one door parents out the other?
Give your sister in law a big hug from me. Like everyone else, this post brought a tear to eye. And yes Suze is right, you blink and they are half grown. It seems just like yesterday I had my first babe and now he is already 12, only 6.5 years away from 19. But it does so much good for these young men and those they get to teach and help.
Great post! Thanks.
Give your sister in law a big hug from me. Like everyone else, this post brought a tear to eye. And yes Suze is right, you blink and they are half grown. It seems just like yesterday I had my first babe and now he is already 12, only 6.5 years away from 19. But it does so much good for these young men and those they get to teach and help.
Great post! Thanks.
The pictures share all the emotions like a good photo should. I love them. I didn't realize that you can't say goodbye at the MTC anymore- what happened to the whole "Called to Serve" singing and parents go out the back and missionaries out the front?
We have a young man in our ward who just left for that mission as well. He is in the MTC studying now. I bet they run into each other and practice their Russian on one another.
Great post. Loved it. The pictures of the hugs goodbye are very sweet. Thanks
I bawled when my friends left for their missions so I can't imagine sons or family members.
I've never heard of this, but experience sounds amazing. I think this would be very beneficial for many young adults out there. Thank you for sharing a little Mormon with us. BTW....Those pictures just tore me up!! May God watch over Alex and the rest of your family!!!
oh, doll. that fifth picture actually, for reals, literally made me get all choked up. i guess i'm a mother of a boy these days. good carp.
I just realized that I wrote that I was sent into "riduculous tears". Yes, I meant ridiculous, but clearly I couldn't see the keyboard correctly through my watery eyes ;)
Oh your SIL is right, she's absolutely right. Hug those babies tight because they grow up WAY too fast. My oldest is being accepted to colleges and planning a mission in the Fall. This hit very close to home and the tears were flowing... what a beautiful post.
So teary. I've got three boys and I'm not looking forward to this day. But I am.
Those are some piercing blue eyes in that family.
Why do some families ALL get called foreign? It's weird the way that works.
I wanted to just enjoy the post and relive my own days of being dropped off at the MTC (scariest/most exciting day of my life so far that's when they had the movie and everything) but all I kept thinking is that your sister in law should have told him to take ibuprofen for a sore tooth, not tylenol.
Yep. I can really focus on what's important.
Very, very interesting post and very touching photos CJane :)
What if a person does not want to go on a mission? Just curious!
Oh, ouch! My heart hurts with the "you will wake up tomorrow" comment.
Thank you to you and your family for your willingness and worthiness to serve full time missions. The work missionaries do is incredible.
O.k. so I know I am your newest blog stalker. But I think you copied me because I just posted about mormon missionaries yesterday.
Extremely emotional. I can only think of few other things than saying goodbye for two years.
I love it that you served a mission. I did too.
Lovely photos. I need a new camera.
This post sorta just smacked me in the face as to how different the Mormon faith is from my faith. I have a son, and I could not imagine sending him away for 2 years and only hearing from him 4 times. I still don't understand what these missions are about. I don't even understand how your parents could leave their children and young grandchildren for 3 years. Especially after your sister's accident. I'm not disparaging your faith in any way, I just don't understand it. For a faith that seems to place so much emphasis on the family, you seem quick to drop it all in an instant to go off on a mission.
I'm on the other side, my buddy little brother comes home in just a couple months!! It was hard when he left, I saw myself as his second mommy when we were little, and I just ached for his nervousness. At first it seemed like decades before he'd come home, but, like with all things, now it seems like it went fairly quickly, and next thing I know I'll be hugging him in the airport. He's had a brilliant experience. It's the best!!
I'm a returned missionary from Russia, I served from 2005-2007 in the Yekateringburg Russia Mission. I loved my mission and it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life.
It shaped me in ways that I'm still discovering. I live, work and study in China now and my Russia experience has been invaluable, not only in giving me an open mind and a curiosity about things I should be afraid of(dog meat, so delicious) but I also have many Russian speaking friends here in China and I think of all the wonderful people I wouldn't be close to if I didn't speak Russian now.
As for young people serving missions, not everyone serves a mission, more young men than women serve(it is considered a responsibility of young men to preach the gospel, it is like a tithing of their time. It is completely voluntary for young women to serve missions, and therefore fewer serve. Although it is considered a responsibility to serve a mission there are those who choose not to. Yes, there is social stigma that often accompanies this choice, just at foregoing rites of passage in other cultures accompanies those abstentions. However, this doesn't mean that these young men are outcasts, especially those with medical or psychological reasons for opting-out.
Missions are indeed great tools for getting young people out of a traditionally insulated culture, for some it really strengthened them, for others it was an experience that although they were grateful for, they would not want to repeat.
Beautiful post. My nephew also entered the MTC on Wednesday and will be heading to Honduras. He's the little brother I never had, and Suze's words ring true as I watch my 1 and 5 year old boys playing on the floor. Nathan was JUST there yesterday, and now he's an Elder. At least I live close enough for Same Day MTC deliveries, so I can fatten him up before he leaves the country. ;)
This made me tear up. Because I felt the Spirit. The sister missionaries saved my life! ;) Hooray for serving a mission.
As I have studied to learn everything about the LDS church, my heart always jumps when I see the missionaries in town and I say a prayer to Heavenly Father for them and their families. Going on their mission is such an experience for them and to witness the change in them when they return must be amazing.
Are your parents allowed contact with family while they are serving?
I would love to read a post, written by Suzi, on your blog about what it's like to be a mother raising a son knowing that they will serve the church and be away for 2 years with little contact. My boys were both exchange students in France and I missed them like crazy and we could visit them anytime. I can't imagine how it feels to be in Suzi and Steve's heart.
--Mari
My son is just about to send his papers in!! There are so many emotions, there are not words to describe! Thanks for sharing.
beautiful post !
I don't agree with this strict mission. I understand the whole concept on going on a mission, but to not make phone calls, go to the movies, have fun while you are on a mission is dumb. These young guys do this 6 times a week, and only have one day off to do their laundry. And the fact that they have to go to some kind of schooling to get taught how to talk, and how to act is even more dumber. Sorry, these young men aren't mature enough to know WTH is going on in 'real' life
As far as service. We Mormons believe we have the ultimate prize there is - the gospel of Jesus Christ. I realize that there are many who would disagree, but that shouldn't stop us from sharing with anyone who is interested. For us it is selfish to keep it to ourselves.
With regards to blessings. I'm not sure what is wrong with knowing that we will be blessed when we serve God. Maybe it's the definition of blessing that's problem. The number one blessing we can expect is a closer relationship with God, which in turn helps us want to serve others more.
Blessings also come in other forms. My parents have served two missions. I happened to have my 3rd and 4th babies during those missions. Even with my parents away, I felt so taken care of and loved by others. I think there is a problem in expecting or requiring specific blessings for service, but I think we can have faith that the Lord will be mindful of us and yes, bless us in the ways that we need when, we or family members turn our/their lives over to His service full-time.
I enjoyed this post and the photos. So tender and poignant! Naturally it made me recall my own mission many years ago. I served for 18 months in the Rochester New York Mission (that's the "Hill Cumorah/Sacred Grove" mission). My brother and I served at the same time, but he went for 2 yrs to Taipei, Taiwan. We didn't even have email. We relied on snail mail, and it was excruciatingly slow! Homesickness was always right around the corner The only cure for me was to jump in and stay busy with contacting people and teaching about the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I did wish I could call home. It was a hard thing to give up. A BIG sacrifice. I missed being able to ask daily for advice from my mom and dad. And finally I realized how the not calling home rule could be such a help. If I couldn't tell Dad or Mom my everyday worries, who could I tell? Heavenly Father, of course. Obeying that rule was the best thing I did, because I learned to depend on the Savior, and on God the Father. I prayed constantly for help to understand what I should be doing. I also prayed to be able to hear the promptings (that still, small voice) of the Holy Spirit. I prayed for guidance for myself, for my companion, and for the people we were teaching. I prayed for courage to speak up, and comfort for the lonely times. I prayed for more patience and understanding, and deeper gratitude for the blessings I had always received but taken for granted.
It was a happy, challenging, difficult, spiritual, wonderfully edifying experience, and I'm glad I chose to go. It was a sacrifice for me and for my family. But a sacrifice means giving up something good for something even better.
And it was worth it.
I've been reading you for quite a while but never felt compelled to respond til now.
WOW is all I can think....WOW what an extraordinary experience, dedication, devotion to your faith that you all have.
I can't imagine having to say goodbye to my son like that (he's 20 and living 20 minutes away), but I can imagine the experience and maturity and independence it would create.
God bless you all.
That is awesome and your sister in law is right, they grow up in the blink of en eye!!!
And for those that think sending their son off is the hardest thing.... NOT having them go is all the harder. :-(
L
I'm new to your blog, but I'm pretty sure I'll be here every day. This post brought tears to my eyes - I remember so well the day I left for Brazil. It was sad. Sad and exciting, and terrifying and thrilling all at once. But I'm so grateful for the experience. My oldest boy is almost 6, and thinking about sending him off brings me to tears, but I'm also excited for him. Thanks so much for sharing this.
The picture of his mama kissing him, with his head down and holding on to her hand... wow that is beautiful. I'm crying.
Thanks for explaining everything so well. You begin to gather things about Mormon culture just by reading so much on blogs but missions still confuse me. This was probably an emotional post but it was also informational! How do missionaries raise their money? And why can't they call home more often?
My husband and I met two wonderful boys on their missionary trip here in our town last summer. We ran into them while walking downtown on a gorgeous summer's night. They were polite, friendly, funny and faithful. We really enjoyed talking to them and asking questions of them. They were surprised that we knew about Mormons, and so I told them about your website. :)
I loved this post, and your photos are priceless. You'll have to be sure to do a "follow up post" in two years when he returns so we can see the mighty change! My daughter has just decided to serve a full-time mission. She will start working on the paperwork process soon, so I got a lump in my throat reading this post. Sending her off to college was the hardest moment since sending her off to Kindergarten...I cried for two weeks. Not because I wasn't happy and excited for her to go, but there is a real grieving process during these transitions - knowing that nothing will ever really be the same again. The idea of not being able to talk to my child every day or whenever I want to while she is on the mission is going to be the hardest part. But, at least there is email and blogs now! When I served my own mission 21+ years ago correspondence through snail mail was agonizingly slow, and often letters never made it at all.
I especially loved Katherine's comment [#1] - it IS so true "they go out with a lot of courage, and come back with a lot of wisdom". And, the same holds true for the Moms [& Dads] left behind! - MoSop
P.S. Congrats C.Jane on your Mormon Times feature!
I just wanted to say thank you for what you do, the way you write, and the perspective that you take. I was introduced to your blog through an article you wrote and am currently in the process of working on my papers to serve my own mission. It makes me happy to know there are amazing women out there who have also served the lord. Again, thank you! Keep up the amazing work!
I love the crying! When I was at BYU and they still did the little "in-take" program where you could go watch the little video then say good bye, I will admit I went just for the crying a few times. When I left myself, the profundity of the moment was surprising and so symbolic to me of what it must have been like for our Heavenly Father to let us come here. My grandfather--at that point, twice a mission president--hugged and kissed me good bye and he SOBBED--Just one big sob and a sweet good bye--but I realize now that he knew much better than I did what was waiting beyond those doors. It's such a surreal and divine experience we get to have as full time missionaries. It's such a type and symbol for this life! I REJOICE in the missionary program and I am so grateful for each sacrifice that is made and each miracle that happens as The Work rolls forth! PS: I also love that Alex looks so much like his mom, and that you can see his sister sobbing in the background of the picture. It's the best crying in the world!!!
meh. just don't come to my door kthanksbye.
Why are they only allowed 4 phone calls in 2 years?? That seems a little much. Not judging, just wondering....
This brought tears and tears. My oldest will be serving a mission in 4 years. It does go by so fast. Very nice post C.Jane.
That picture of him holding his mom's hand while she gave him a sweet kiss...ugh! Tears the moment I saw it. My little brother is serving right now and just hit the 6 month mark (yes, still a long way to go). Our father died one month before he left and that picture just made me think of he and my mom saying goodbye. I live in Ohio so I wasn't there to hug and kiss him myself, but your words reminded me of just how I felt. Thanks!
Sitting here crying like a baby.
My oldest child turned 12 last Sunday and will pass the sacrament tomorrow.... too soon he'll heading off to serve the Lord. As much as the thought fills me with anxiety, it is so exciting too!
To 2nd Anonymous on Feb. 25th: You asked about how people pay for their missions? We pay our own way, or our families help support us while we are out. Sometimes our church congregation will help with the financial burden. The church also has a general missionary fund that people can donate to, and some people receive support from that fund.
Since returning from serving my mission, I have never been tempted to be unkind to anyone who is courageous enough to go door to door, or stand on a street corner, sharing their religion. I know how hard it is, and I applaud their dedication to their beliefs.
I have to say that tears came to my eyes reading this post. I have four boys - ages 6-13, so very soon, this will be our family! We have seen cousings come and go - and it is amazing to see what a change a mission can be for not only the missionary, but for the family too! (BTW, I didn't know you served in Canada - that ROCKS!)
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