Comments on c jane enjoy it: The Waffle Maker

I agree with the people who suggested we learn to ...

2009-11-14T07:11:15.751-07:00

I agree with the people who suggested we learn to bite our snobby tongues, but I also always tell my husband exactly what I want...no, I just buy my own gifts and wrap them myself. And I've always taken back gifts I don't like right away.

That's kind of pathetic too. He will usually try to buy something to surprise me. Or he buys me something big, like a new fridge or front load washer that I wanted and we call it the Christmas/Birthday present.

We do need to be gentle with each other. My father won't buy gifts anymore for my mom, just because of something she didn't like once. And I know that hurts her.

Last Christmas I announced I didn't want any gifts, but wanted to donate money to my favorite charities. I still got too much because of what we needed--a new phone, my husband's old laptop, and a dishwasher.

On my first birthday that we were married, he forgot it entirely. He ran out during his lunch hour and bought me oil paints. Recently he blindfolded me on my birthday and made me guess which brand of chocolate he was putting in my mouth!

But, I can't remember what kind of gift giver I have been. I do make the cake!

And oh ya, about the gift thing...I also once rece...

2009-11-10T20:41:22.395-07:00

And oh ya, about the gift thing...I also once received a much hinted about winter coat I badly needed and when I opened the box (newlyweds for about three months)I pulled out...wait for it...a GREEN BARN JACKET FROM CABELA'S. Mhm. You try to "love" that when I am a free-spirit vintage lovin hippie type. Oh the embarrassment of donning that coat for about five years until I finally woke up one day, turned to him and told him how much I despised the green puke...I mean coat. He raised an eyebrow and said: I paid good money for that coat and it will never go out of fashion. Really? REALLY? Wow.

I don't know anything about the Mormon faith so wh...

2009-11-10T20:25:01.716-07:00

I don't know anything about the Mormon faith so when you tagged "sealing your faith" I was intrigued enough to read it. It's...um...an enlightening read. I think hubs would think I was crazy if this was asked of us, considering his Catholic background and my "eclectic" religious upbringing (oh yes, grammy dragged me to every Lutheran, Evangelical, and Baptist church there was to be had in our small town). I'd love to hear your story of this someday...I'm sure it was wonderful your recollections would be smart and funny with a smattering of your wit and sarcasm:)

tell us about your wedding day....please

2009-11-10T20:00:56.120-07:00

tell us about your wedding day....please

I believe that when he said "I love you" a few tim...

2009-11-10T18:49:31.426-07:00

I believe that when he said "I love you" a few times, he was actually trying to convince himself that he does.

I cant believe so many think that a snob attitude ...

2009-11-10T14:35:24.410-07:00

I cant believe so many think that a snob attitude is OK. It hurts people deep, I have been on the other end of the rope. No being a snob does not work for me. I remember once shopping carefully for a gift for my husband.I found something beautiful for him, different from his style but beautiful at least to me. He hated it and I was crushed and sad on a wonderful Xmas morning. I will never forget how hurt and misunderstood I felt. Really the gift is not important think about the intention behind it and practice GRATITUDE. Do not make your loved ones feel miserable over a petty mistake. I still remember my embarrasment...not worth it. Much better if you just ask for what you want...or make a list of possible surprises.

Learning GRATITUDE from PR

Last year my new husband bought me the cookbook, "...

2009-11-10T14:30:37.031-07:00

Last year my new husband bought me the cookbook, "Everyday Italian." He's Italian, and I can't cook. After I made my first meal and thought he'd need to be hospitalized, he just looked at me, smiled, and said, "Love." The way he said it filled me with a sense of peace as I knew it meant he'd be the cook in the family from then on! It's how I now know we'll forgive each other everything. He said it that way when I spilled ketchup on his favorite shirt last week, and after we lost a baby last month.

Even though I've told many people I love them over the years, it's just different with him. Sounds like you feel that way too :) Congrats on your happy marriage, and to knowing when NOT to fold 'em! After all, he'll love you no matter what...may as well get some good gifts out of the deal!

Happy Anniversary! Marriage is hard work, as a ma...

2009-11-10T14:08:02.059-07:00

Happy Anniversary! Marriage is hard work, as a marriage and family therapist and being in my own marriage of 26 years, I know how true it is ...

I think you guys would like my little book just released, "A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage." Can find it at borders, amazon, barnes&noble -- visit me @ www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com

Hi CJane readers! Have you checked out CJane's Co...

2009-11-10T13:50:41.087-07:00

Hi CJane readers! Have you checked out CJane's Community lately? There's lots of fun discussions going on. Come join in the fun. In light of this post I just started a thread called "The worst gift you ever got." Come share your stories! Or post a discussion of you own.

Here's the link:
http://theblogfrog.com/psearch/Community.aspx?blogID=1568

Or just use the widget on the sidebar to get there

gifts. presents. our poor husbands always hoping...

2009-11-10T01:27:04.849-07:00

gifts. presents. our poor husbands always hoping to make a good choice. a good decision. rarely does it turn out the way they planned. last year i finally gave in and made a list of things he could think about getting me. then i ended up in the icu, in a coma, where i slept through the month of december.

my husband never left my side, sleeping in the recliner they brought into my icu room for him--my 6'5 husband sleeping on this thing day and night waiting for me to wake up. talk about a great gift--he is the best gift i could ever ask for.

--mari

Hahahahaa, Cjane you just are so funny and awesome...

2009-11-09T23:48:58.326-07:00

Hahahahaa, Cjane you just are so funny and awesome at the same time. You write in a way that makes everyone relate to you, feel like you are thier sister. I love your posts!

I totally get the "I love yous"
That mean something else. I have a kinda bad habit of saying "I love you!" to my husband that express more-
confession/guilt
Sorry-ness
Excitedness
Frustration
and more...?!?

I actaully started doing that years ago to replace less kind words from coming out of my mouth at stressful times. Weird, huh.

And honestly, when it comes to Christmas/birthday/annivesary gifts, we don't even PRETEND to know what to get eachother, we just TELL eachother EXACTLY what we want. No suprises for us. And that's just perfect for us.

haha! waffles makers make wonderful waffles...if Y...

2009-11-09T23:22:39.210-07:00

haha! waffles makers make wonderful waffles...if YOU love waffles it might have been the perfect gift!

i'm a snob too. poor poor husband.

Sometimes when I read your postings you seem so yo...

2009-11-09T22:01:54.149-07:00

Sometimes when I read your postings you seem so young...so so young and I don't intend that to be a bad thing. But tonight is one of those times. Men and women are very different. Bite your tongue off before you ever bring up that unwanted Christmas gift again to your husband. The sadness it causes between the two of you isn't worth you being right. The gifts don't matter. The thought REALLY is what matters. The fact that he crawls into the bed at night next to you, breathing softly as he falls asleep is the important stuff. Take it from someone who "used" to want to be right more than anything...being right isn't all it is cracked up to be, but being loved is. If my comment offends you, I apologize.

I received SOTRAGE BINS for christmas once from NO...

2009-11-09T20:27:48.265-07:00

I received SOTRAGE BINS for christmas once from NOT my (now husband) but boyfriend at the time. Because i NEEDED them...who wants a gift that you NEED????? it was a test and i failed it because i freaked OUT!! lol...poor jeff. needless to say i only receive gifts that i want, not need.

This is funny. It's my anniversary and birthday th...

2009-11-09T20:09:16.575-07:00

This is funny. It's my anniversary and birthday this month. My most memorable one was the time hubby asked for a hint. I said I'd like something shiny and told him the store he could find it in. I received a stainless steel pressure cooker. It was shiny, but not jewelry. We still laugh about it after 36 years!

Happy Anniversary to you guys!

2009-11-09T19:47:56.561-07:00

Happy Anniversary to you guys!

Great post. It's interesting the gift giving dyna...

2009-11-09T19:11:35.909-07:00

Great post. It's interesting the gift giving dynamic between husbands and wives, isn't it?

Love your site; cool design!

Azucar...LMBO

2009-11-09T17:37:12.502-07:00

Azucar...LMBO

I have been there done that and felt the same conf...

2009-11-09T15:25:30.756-07:00

I have been there done that and felt the same conflicts, except maybe worse because for the month and a half leading up to Christmas, whenever he brought up the gifts that I ended up getting I repeatedly and vehemently told him I did NOT want them. And I'm not the reverse psychology type of girl. And he knows it. And he bought them anyway and then was mad when I didn't want them.

*sigh*

Sigh. The year before last, my husband thought hi...

2009-11-09T14:25:36.774-07:00

Sigh.

The year before last, my husband thought his present of a twenty-dollar Sonic gift card was too good to wait until Valentine's Day. That was the same year my sister received handweights from her husband, while our single sister got flowers from two different guys. Dark times.

This year, I demanded chocolate chip cookies. He gave me cookies. It was a much better year.

Jeannie, I know.

2009-11-09T12:14:22.764-07:00

Jeannie, I know.

Poor Chup. Poor Ryan. Can't tell you how many ti...

2009-11-09T10:35:49.555-07:00

Poor Chup. Poor Ryan. Can't tell you how many times I've exchanged the gifts he's given me. Even my wedding ring.

It was our first Christmas together as newlyweds w...

2009-11-09T10:33:57.402-07:00

It was our first Christmas together as newlyweds when my husband gave me a forest green PLEATHER nursing rocker. For his bride of 6 months. Who wasn't pregnant. Nor wanted to be for a loooong while.

He won't live that one down. I may not beat that dead horse as often, but a nursing rocker?

Men try. Oftentimes they gloriously fail, but at least he tries.

I have read your blog for a year now and I really ...

2009-11-09T10:19:34.205-07:00

I have read your blog for a year now and I really enjoy reading your blog entries.

I hear you on the gifts. My husband always says this, "I can't read your mind." So he made a few good tries at gifts and a few that have been off over the years. Now I just hint or tell him what I'd like for holidays, birthdays.

But then he surprised me with flowers (tulips that he knows I like)on my first mother's day last year (our girls were an older foster to adopt last year).

So I guess it's a give and take, and I learned and he learned over the years, how to navigate around the gift giving issue.

Happy Anniversary!
Molly

Off topic, can we get a recipe for Chup's Milk Cho...

2009-11-09T09:53:37.872-07:00

Off topic, can we get a recipe for Chup's Milk Chocolate Mint? :)